When Pasts Collide
by Cumor
Summary: When acting out on a whirlwind memory from his past causes Jasper to push Carlisle too far, his father is forced to face his own demons while Esme battles hers. Will parents and son be able to put the ghosts of their tragic pasts to rest long enough to repair the structure of their loving supportive family? Warning: Contains disciplinary spanking. Don't like..don't read.
1. War and Romance

**Warning: **Contains non sexual spanking of a vampire or two. If you should find this disturbing please feel free to **not** read. ... also... this first chapter was written under the influence of Redbull so be forewarned...

**Disclaimer: **Of course, Twilight characters do not belong to me... no matter how much I would LOVE to own Carlisle. They remain the property of Stephenie Meyer and I thank her for allowing us to play with them. I promise not to break her toys, leave them out in the rain, or do any sort of irreparable damage. Never fear, I will return them with all limbs attached.

**AN:** I would like to thank Cullen1007 for the inspiration for the Jasper part of this story and caughtforCarlisle for allowing me to borrow a prop for the second part. ... This one is apt to be darker, guys. I know where I want it to end up but how we get there is going to be up to the characters. Originally, I meant this to be a Carlisle/Esme story but Jasper stepped up to become my catalyst; poor brave lad. So without further ado, thanks for joining me on this journey and... here we go...

"Look Jasper, I said I was sorry. What more do you want? It's not like it can't be fixed. For God's sake, I'm sure Rose can have it back up and running in no time."

Rosalie looked over at the heap of fiberglass and metal that had once been a Ducati 848 then shot her mate a look of bewilderment. She couldn't imagine what he had done that would have left Jasper's bike in such a state but she knew that the idea of its resurrection was preposterous. There was just no way this piece of junkyard scrap could ever be repaired. She was good but she recognized a hopeless case when she saw one. Jasper's bike was totaled. She knew it. Jasper knew it. Emmett knew it as well but refused to admit defeat.

"Come on, little bro. See. Plaster on some Bondo. Hit it with a fresh coat of paint. Bam! Good as new. I'll even pay for the supplies."

Emmett was beginning to feel frustrated by this entire situation. It wasn't like he had planned on damaging his brother's precious motorbike. It wasn't his fault that some kid had cut him off causing him to plow over a couple of road signs. He was lucky that tree stopped him. Stupid kid didn't even stop to see if he was okay. _Some human compassion right there. _Looking at the twisted frame, Emmett actually felt that the bike fared pretty well, all things considered. At least it was still in one piece...more or less.

"Oh, you better believe your ass is going to pay for it, Emmett! I told you it was okay to borrow it, not destroy it!" Jasper growled angrily as he looked from the wreckage to his brother. "Just look at it." He reached out to touch the remains of his treasured bike; a gift from Edward and his ticket to sanity whenever he felt overwhelmed with the emotions of others and needed to get away from everyone for a little while. Just he and the bike out on the road careening along away from the cares of the world, but now... His fingers brushed the broken body only to have the front fork come apart and clatter to the garage floor. "FUCK, EMMETT! It's not even a bike anymore. Looks more like a fuckin' piece of over priced lawn art! Bondo my ass. You may as well use duct tape and spit for all the good it will do."

Jasper turned his back to his brother hoping that he would be able to mitigate his anger if he avoided looking at the buffoon. He had to gain control of his temper before he did something he would soon regret. Abruptly, he spun back around and kicked the remains, sending parts flying.

"God damn it! How in the hell would you like it if I shoved your damn jeep over a cliff?" The boy's obsidian eyes flared with anger as he glared at his moose of a brother.

"Jazz, bro, calm down. You know I'll make it good. Chill. You're acting like I borrowed it with the idea of fucking your bike up. You know me better then that."

"You destroy every damn thing you get your hands on!"

As Jasper's rage intensified, it began to exude from his trembling body to infect his brother and sister as well.

"Jasper, give it a break. Yeah, Em can be a dumbass klutz but it's just a bike. Get over it."

"Get over it?" He turned on his sister with a vicious snarl. "Get over it? What the fuck, Rose?"

In his increasing fury, Jasper let fly with another kick to the mangled motor sending it soaring towards his siblings. The bear of a boy ducked as the fluid spewing missile whizzed pass his head to crash land embedding itself in the middle of the windshield of Rose's bright red BMW.

Rose snarled loudly at the damage inflicted upon her innocent car. She punched her mate hard in the shoulder. "This shit is all your damn fault." Then she turned the bulk of her wrath upon her brother. "Is this how you want to play, Jasper? Come on! I'll kick your sorry ass all the way back down to the Hickville you sprang from!"

Jasper crouched low returning her snarl with a deep resonating growl, accepting her challenge. Something tugged at the back of his brain. A whispered voice reminded him that women were meant to be cherished and protected, especially family, but a stronger voice from his time as Maria's second grew louder to stifle his childhood conditioning. **All** challengers were to be answered; **all** opponents were to be mercilessly defeated if he was to survive.

Emmett placed himself between his warrior brother and his own beloved mate. He had no doubt that Rosalie could wipe the floor with Jasper but he wasn't about to just stand by and watch it happen when he could be in the fight. His anger melding with Jasper's, he found himself bowing up while his eyes went black.

"You heard her before, bro. **Back. The. Fuck. Off.**" He growled a warning while shifting his weight to balance himself. His hands clenched into fists at his sides ready for attack. "You're out numbered, Jazzy Reb, not that I'd let my Rose soil her hands with the likes of you." Emmett took a step towards his honey haired southern sibling clearly trying to intimidate him. Baring his teeth he continued his taunt as he spoiled for a fight. "If you know what's good for you Tex-ass parlor solider you will **STAND DOWN**!"

The slurs to his heritage and the military command caused a tiny spark to ignite in Jasper's mind. The solider found himself transported to another place and time. No longer did he recognize the pair before him as his siblings. The brother and sister he had grown to love had been replaced by a couple of feral newborns he was under orders to break. Jasper had never lost a battle and he certainly wasn't about to start now. He was second-in-commmand of the Mexican Coven. He led Maria's army into battle claiming victory after victory. By right he demanded their respect and by God he would have it. Just who did these two think they were to attempt to question his authority?

Jasper's indignation erupted as a guttural roar before he charged Emmett, hell bent on destruction.

* * *

Esme snuggled against Carlisle, breathing in the heady musk of his scent. She let out a satisfied sigh as they both basked in the afterglow of their love making. With his recent work schedule causing him to keep longer hours then usual, she had come to treasure these stolen moments when they had the house to themselves.

She had been busy working in the garden when she heard his car out on the road. Fearing that something was wrong sending him home at such an early hour, she raced to meet her mate. Much to her delight, her handsome blond haired lover had greeted her with flowers, massage oil and an extremely wicked glimmer in his eye.

"I decided to take the afternoon off. Seemed like the hospital had more then enough coverage today." His flirtatious smile sent a pleasant jolt through her body. "Besides, I have the feeling that I was becoming more of a hindrance."

"Why do you say that?" She purred softly as she trailed her hand along his jawline causing his eyes to close involuntarily while he surrendered to her touch.

"Because I simply could not concentrate on my work. My mind kept drifting to thoughts of the most beautiful woman I know."

"And whom might that be?" Esme's eyes darkened slightly as her physical need for her husband's touch demanded to be fulfilled.

"Why that sexy new doctor O'Hara in trauma, of course. That one is a real looker."

Esme playfully huffed as she lightly slapped Carlisle's face.

"You, Carlisle Cullen, are a cad."

He chuckled as he took her hand and pressed it to his lips.

"As if there could be anyone more beautiful in the world to me then my ravishing wife." The mischievous glint grew brighter in his topaz eyes. "Speaking of ravishing." With an easy well practiced movement, he swept her into his arms, carrying the love of his existence into the house to share in an afternoon of bliss.

Now, several hours had passed and with the sun beginning to dip behind the trees, Esme became aware of the time. She knew that their children would soon begin arriving from school and her maternal instincts demanded that she be at the door to greet them.

"Carlisle, my love, as much as I could stay right here for the rest of eternity, I think it's time to head back downstairs. The first wave will be home any minute and you know how our activities tend to disturb the children."

She made a move to rise only to find herself pulled back down on top of him and into a long passionate kiss.

"Let them be disturbed." His voice was slightly breathless and husky with lust.

Esme giggled as she slipped from his embrace and out of the bed to get dressed.

"These are your children, Dr. Cullen. It is not right to torture them so."

"Don't think of it as torture. More like getting even."

Esme laughed softly as she recalled the racket coming from Emmett and Rosalie's room several nights ago. He did have a point but still...

Carlisle rolled onto his side propping himself up on his elbow with his head resting in his hand as he watched his wife dress. The sight of her perfect features caused a low growl of desire to roll from his throat. How he ever found himself blessed with such an angelic creature he would never understand.

At the sound of his growl, Esme cocked an eyebrow and smiled. "Doctor, I dare say that you are insatiable." Returning to their bed she pushed him gently back onto his back then claimed his mouth with hers. Carlisle only too eagerly responded as his fingers raked through her hair pulling her into a deeper kiss.

A sudden crashing sound caused Esme to pull away.

"Now what have they gotten themselves into?" Carlisle's tone was one of annoyed exasperation.

"I'm sure it's nothing." She tried to keep the worry she was feeling out of her voice as angry muffled voices reached her ears. "Sounds like the boys are having a little tiff, that's all. I'll go down and take care of it." Placing a light kiss on her mate's lips, she once again found her feet on the floor. "Besides, I think you've expended enough energy for one day."

Her joyful teasing took the edge off of the frustration Carlisle felt at having their romp so rudely interrupted.

"Luckily vampires never tire." He gave her a seductively evil grin.

Shaking her head, Esme laughed at her lover before leaving to check on the state of their home and children. From the sounds of things, all appeared to be in jeopardy.

Carlisle watched her disappear before reluctantly crawling out of bed to get dressed himself so he could reunite with his family. The apparent battle below not withstanding, the evening was off to a wondrous start.


	2. Shell Shocked

Esme quietly padded down the stairs following the enraged voices of her boys emanating from the direction of the garage. Coarse language and infuriated tones assaulted her ears, leaving her with thoughts of how lucky her children were that she was here to break them up instead of Carlisle. The family patriarch did not take kindly to violence between his offspring and was intolerant of the harsh vulgarity that was being so carelessly tossed around. In her place, her beloved would be soaping mouths and tanning hides but Esme hoped that she would be able to put a stop to the bickering easily with a stern verbal reprimand. Once control of the situation was in her hands she could sort out the cause of this debacle, resolve it and return the house to the peaceful safe haven they all needed it to be.

As her hand reached for the doorknob, a shattering of glass filled the air only to be followed by a feminine voice making some very disparaging remarks towards her brother. Esme sighed inwardly as hopes of a peaceful resolution evaporated. With three tempers flaring she would certainly have her hands full. Taking a deep breath she opened the door stepping into a war zone.

Esme gasped at the taunts Emmett was slinging towards Jasper. She had never known her teddy bear boy to be so cruel towards anyone, let alone his brother. This was not his usual teasing that they all had come to shrug off for the most part. Emmett was trying to hurt Jasper to goad him into a fight.

"Just what is going on in here? Emmett that is quite enough!"

The words had no sooner left her lips when they were drowned out by Jasper's outburst as he lunged at Emmett in attack. She was momentarily stunned into inactivity as she stood watching while her sons collided in battle.

"Jasper! Emmett! Stop this instant!"

The boys completely ignored her presence as their battle built steam. Fist and feet were flying and for the first time that she could think of she feared one of them would bite the other. Esme looked to her daughter for help. It was obvious that she wasn't going to be able to separate her two boys by herself but she still didn't cherish the idea of involving Carlisle if she could help it.

"Rose, help me. See if you can get through to Em. Rosalie, are you listening to me?"

Apparently not. To Esme's horror Rosalie was offering words of encouragement to her mate.

"Take him apart, monkey man! Show that little bastard whose boss around here!"

"Rosalie Hale!"

When the young woman finally turned to look at her, Esme was shocked by the intense anger in her features. Jasper's infectious emotional state appeared to be exacting its toll on everyone. Esme could feel the waves of anger knocking against her, setting her teeth on edge. She tried to focus on her breathing to maintain some measure of calm. Swallowing hard, she glared at her daughter.

"Rose, leave! You can't help in the state you're in. I need you to leave."

"Like hell I will!"

Esme counted slowly in her head as her eyes shifted from her daughter to her dueling sons and back again.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale, go in the house his instant. I realize that you are not yourself at the moment so I'm willing to over look your behavior but do not continue to push me."

Rose looked as if she was about to protest but instead gave her mother an anger driven snarl before shouting a few more words of encouragement to her mate as she slammed through the door leading into the house. Esme heard the wooden frame split with the force inflicted. _Something else to add to the 'to do' list._ At least she had managed to get compliance from her eldest daughter leaving just her boys to contend with.

She tried in vain to get their attentions by calling their names but the snapping, spitting and snarls nullified her words every time. It wasn't until one of Jasper's successful tackles sent he and his brother plowing through the garage door and into the yard that inspiration struck their desperate mother. A sudden cold jet of water shocked the warriors long enough to derail their objective.

"Momma?" Emmett noticed Esme for the first time as she stood a little distance away, the garden hose swinging gently in her hand.

Jasper, anger unabated by the dousing, used his brother's moment of confusion to his advantage. A kick to the stomach and a punch to the jaw sent Emmett crashing to the ground. The commanding solider was on top of his prone victim before the burly creature had a chance to register his actions. His iron grip closed tightly around his brother's neck causing his nails to dig into the soft yielding flesh.

_This one's strength will be useful. I'll leave him broken but not dead._ Jasper's other hand gripped Emmett's muscular arm. He pulled, feeling the shoulder pop out of joint, but before the limb broke free he was knocked away from his opponent by another newborn that he had not previously noticed.

"Jazzy, no!" Alice yelled while staring at her mate, her eyes huge and filled with despair. "You can't do this. You have to stop now."

The wheaten haired youth scrambled to his feet, growling at the two new interlopers while his throughly disciplined underling howled in pain and rage.

Edward quickly invaded his brother's thoughts but they did nothing to alleviate the confusion he had labored under since Alice's vision had sent them racing home. The images swirling through Jasper's head were dark and foreign to him. Jasper saw himself as outnumbered but instead of defensive fear, Edward heard his brother's internal voice strategizing their demise.

"Jazzy, it's me, love."

Jasper's head snapped around, his ebony eyes glaring hard at his mate but not seeing her at all.

"Alice, go stay by mom."

"I can help, Edward."

"**NO!** You can help by getting out of the way. He is not himself right now."

"But..."

Edward's inflection had gained his brother's attention and now he held Jasper's gaze while he continued to reason with his sister. He needed to stay connected to the riled soldier's mind to give himself extra time to react to what was amounting to an inevitable attack.

"Alice," he tried to calm his voice, "Jazz's mind is not right. If he hurts you, how do you think that will effect him? Do this for him. Get out of here."

With his eyes locked firmly on Jasper, Edward was not able to see the glazed over expression that momentarily froze his sister but he breathed a sigh of relief when he heard her move out of the danger zone. Her anguished thoughts sounded in his head but one didn't make sense to him. _Please don't let this happen to daddy._ Unfortunately, Edward didn't have the luxury of time to dwell on his sister's thought. Jasper's mind had abruptly issued the attack command which Edward had to quickly deflect.

As his brother launched his attack, Edward slid just outside of his trajected path and drove his elbow between Jasper's shoulder blades taking him down hard. Snarling, Jasper threw Edward off of himself landing a disorientating blow to his brother's temple. Much to his annoyance, the first son found himself pinned beneath his feral-ish brother enduring punishing blows. Beginning to question how much abuse his body could take, Edward became unexpectedly aware of the absence of Jasper's weight on him.

Skittering to his feet, he was surprised to find Emmett, left arm held tightly across his chest to limit movement, laying his full weight on Jasper pinning the boy to the ground. Edward rushed to aid in hanging onto his trapped frantic brother praying that he would give up quickly once he realized he was defeated.

"Enough." Emmett's voice sounded rough, pained and exhausted. "That's enough, little bro. I get it already. I owe you a bike." He panted heavily as he struggled to contain Jasper while fighting to endure his agony. His eyes searched out Edward's and he offered an embarrassed smile. "Hey, Ed, thanks for the assist. Would have been hell having to explain a missing arm to Pops."

Edward laughed softly at Emmett's attempt to inject humor into a stressful situation. "Yeah. Dislocated is going to be hard enough to own up to with that 'no fighting' rule in place."

Jasper's struggling slowed and then finally ceased. He glared at the two who held him. How could this have happened? Where had he gone wrong? He, who had never lost on the battle field, was now being held defeated and in disgrace. He closed his eyes trying to escape the shame within the darkness of his mind.

Someone was trilling his name in a soft purr as dainty fingers brushed the hair from his face. Opening his eyes, he found himself focusing on the beautiful little dark haired female who had shown up as reinforcement. He knew that he should hate her for the part that she had played in his downfall but there was something about her that drew him in. He trusted her. He wanted to stay with her.

"It's working, Alice. He still doesn't know but the walls are starting to crack."

Another lyrical smooth soft voice called his name as another hand ran lightly along his jaw and neck.

"Jasper? Can you hear me, Jasper? It's alright, son. You're safe. Your family is here for you. Look at me, sweetheart. Let me see your eyes."

Reluctantly he turned his head away from the pretty little pixie princess in response to the orders from the other female, but when his eyes met her's his body stiffened in fear.

"Maria." He whispered softly unable to take his eyes off of the dark haired goddess.

"No, honey. It's me. It's Esme. It's momma, baby."

His breaths became shallow and rapid as he began to hyperventilate in a held over human response to fear. _I've disappointed her. Disgraced her._ His rapid breathing came louder and his body began to shake beneath the weight of his brothers.

The dark haired beauty reached across him to cup his cheek but as soon as he felt her touch his panic peaked. _She will punish me. __**KILL ME!**_

"Mom, look out!"

Edward's warning came too late. With barely a conscious thought, Jasper sank his teeth deeply into Esme's forearm flooding the wound with his venom.

At their mother's anguished cry, his brothers' confusion and horror caused their hold on him to weaken, allowing him to slip free. Jasper was on his feet growling at the males while he shielded Maria from them. It pained him to have hurt her but he would defend himself. He had to run. He had to escape. Now he would be a hunted thing. There would be no sanctuary anywhere for him. She would send them after him unless...

While keeping an eye on the males, he spoke softly to his beautiful Maria. "I can't live like this. I am sorry, Mi Amor, but without you to guide them they will lack direction. They will not seek me and I can be free. I truly wish that there was another way. I do, but you and I both know that there isn't."

In a blur of motion, Jasper's teeth found purchase in Esme's shoulder near the base of her throat. If he did it quickly her pain would be fleeting and it would be over. He struggled with his regret and the buffeting waves of her agony and fear. He shifted his grip to deliver the death blow when a crippling pain engulfed his side as his body went flying, stopping only once it slammed heavily against a tree.

"Esme?" Carlisle's voice was panicked as he knelt next to his mate.

Tears rolled down her cheeks while she ground her teeth against the searing torture of the venom coursing through her body.

"I'm alright, Carlisle."

Her sharp intake of air told him otherwise. "Oh, Esme." He held her tightly for a moment before reluctantly releasing her. What would he have done if he had arrived a few seconds later? He shuddered at the idea but had to put his feelings to the side for now and allow the doctor in him to take over and see to her welfare. Just as he began check her wounds a resounding bellow diverted all attention to his solider son who stood confidently before him.

"Leave her. **She's mine!**"

Carlisle's jet black eyes narrowed as he glared at Jasper; his jaw tight as he fought hard to control his anger.

"**Have you lost your mind, boy**?"

* * *

**AN:** Alright, y'all. ...yeah. I did warn that this is darker. We have a VERY unhappy Carlisle so don't look for things to improve very quickly. Thanks so much for the reviews, adds, suggestions...etc. I love to hear what y'all think and it motivates me to at least attempt to write better so please keep 'em coming.


	3. The Beast Unleashed

A long dormant beast stirred deep within Carlisle as he stared at his son while his mate's anguished cry continued to echo in his head. The beast rose, straining against the chains that tightly bound it. It spoke of retribution for the wrongs committed against him and his beautiful Esme. It encouraged him to reaffirm his position as leader in the eyes of his coven by punishing the whelp that stood so boldly trying to claim Carlisle's precious mate as his own. The same whelp that had been a hair's breadth away from taking the coven leader's soul from him forever.

The beast began to growl, softly at first but growing ever louder as it welled up in Carlisle's chest. It pulled violently against its chains demanding to be set free to exact righteous justice that is knew Carlisle wasn't strong enough to deliver. Usually Esme was his strength but she couldn't save him now as the beast's bondage began to fail.

"Get out of my sight, Jasper," Carlisle growled through clenched teeth as he felt the links of chain weaken. He wouldn't leave Esme's side so he had to make his son quit the field of battle while he still was able to exert a measure of control. If the beast slipped its tether he feared for his son, knowing there would be no stopping it until its fury had been spent.

"Out of my sight, **NOW**!"

Jasper snarled at his father, eyes flashing in anger.

"How dare you order me. Who in the hell do you think you are?"

Carlisle got to his feet, growling deeply at his errant son. "I am your leader, boy. You **will** stand down now and show me the proper respect."

It was that same phrase again that gnawed at Jasper's psyche. Who was this lesser male to claim a position of authority over him? The only one who could command him was Maria and she had yet to speak a word in this others defense so he obviously needed to be shown his place at the bottom of the pecking order. Jasper bared his teeth as he hissed at the blond.

"You are **NOT** my leader. You answer **to** me."

"Jazz, calm down. You don't know what you are saying." Alice stepped between her husband and her father to try to defuse the growing tension. "Look at me, Jazzy." She was reaching to touch his arm when she suddenly found herself flying through the air as her mate slapped her angrily away. Alice slid hard along the ground before skidding to a stop then hopped back to her feet with tears in her eyes.

The chain gave way sending Carlisle's beast raging towards Jasper with a ferocious roar. Dimly, Carlisle heard Esme scream for him to stop but the beast was in control now with him helplessly being dragged along behind. Carlisle watched in disconnected horror as the beast back handed his honey haired son across the face dropping him to the ground like a bag of stones.

Jasper was swiftly on his feet growling like a feral thing, matching the black eyed beast that snarled in his face. His tongue touched the split in his lip licking the tinted venom that flowed from the wound before his spit could heal it. The taste of his venom mingling with elk blood from his morning hunt fueled his fury. In his rage he leaped upon Carlisle forcing him to stagger backward as the coven leader fought to regain his footing.

The beast dug his heels in then grasped the youngster firmly and tossed him across the yard landing Jasper at Edward's feet. Edward made a grab for his brother but the battle worn solider was too quick and slipped skillfully from his grasp with a warning growl. If need be he would break all of them starting with this one. As his glare pierced Edward, he momentarily lost sight of his true enemy; a mistake that proved costly.

Carlisle's arms wrapped around his son pulling him down to the ground into a spitting howling brawl. Rolling around in the dirt, Jasper managed to get an arm free and let fly a solid punch to his father's jaw. The beast snarled in the boy's face before answering with a blow of his own to the youth's side. Carlisle heard the muffled snap of bone as ribs gave way under the impact while a yowl of pain filled the air.

Jasper clawed and kicked madly as he fought to dislodge himself from the steel clutch of his father while they tumbled across the leaf littered ground. The solider was the better fighter but greater age and experience coupled with unabated rage over the treatment of his mate and daughter gave Carlisle an unexpected advantage as he wrestled with his son. He barely registered the powerful blows that the boy inflicted on his body but he returned them in kind.

Carlisle instantly became aware of a vice like hold wrapping around his chest trying to pry him from his adversary.

"Pops. Come on, Pops, let him go." Emmett held Carlisle with his good arm while struggling with the nagging pain of his injured shoulder. "For mom and Alice's sake, you two need to call a truce."

The beast struck back at the muscular boy attempting to subdue him by slamming the back of his head hard into the boy's face. Emmett's agonizing cry mixed with the hissing snarls coming from the battle as he stumbled back landing in the waiting arms of his wife.

The battle royal had drawn Rosalie's attention from the house. Her mother's admonishment that had sent her from the garage had her wishing to keep a low profile so she stayed away when it all started but hearing her monkey man screech caused her to come rushing to his defense. Whoever wanted a piece of him would have to go through her first. She growled low at her father as she realized he was the cause of Emmett's latest agony but as the beast's furious eyes bore into hers she backed away shielding her mate from further damage.

"**Enough of this!**" The beast growled in frustration as he dealt a stunning blow to his assailant's temple. Throwing his head back, he unleashed an otherworldly rage filled bellow warning any would be challenger of his alpha status then dropped his eyes to stare into the boy's.

Jasper's movements ceased as he laid pinned beneath his father whose primal scream still rang in his ears. The cold aftershock of Carlisle's fury was slowly awaking him from the nightmare that held him in it's grip. With his world coming back into focus, the reality of what he had done and the current peril he was facing crashed over him along with the roiling waves of Carlisle's rage. Jasper gasped when he saw a murderous expression on his father's face as the elder snarled.

The beast's coal black eyes registered the shock and terror on the boy's face. _Good. You should quake with fear before me, fledgling._ His knee compressed Jasper's breastbone while his strong hands held his son's shoulders firmly against the unyielding forest floor. The beast roared in triumph over his foe then caught the whelp's throat between his teeth.

Jasper closed his eyes as he awaited death's cold embrace. His leader's teeth closed ever so slightly breaching the integrity of his flesh as his ragged breath sounded loudly in the youth's ears. He was marginally aware of a voice speaking near him but paid it no heed as he awaited for the darkness to finally claim him.

"Carlisle! Carlisle listen to me! Look at me, my love. Carlisle, I know that you're still in there. Stop this madness and comeback to your family."

While the children maintained a safe distance, Esme knelt on the ground at Jasper's head, her hand resting lightly on her husband's arm. The burning venom caused her to shiver but she did her best to ignore the pain. Her son's safety and her husband's welfare overshadowed her physical distress. Seeing Carlisle's bite closing more firmly caused her panic to rise.

"Carlisle, you have to let him go. Don't do this to him. ... Don't do this to us."

Obsidian eyes slowly shifted from the fallen youth to Esme's face. Her expression was one of agony, desperation and extreme terror. The beast growled, ratcheting his jaws tighter to punish the boy for causing the emotions that marred his mate's fine features.

"Carlisle, please." Crystal tears of venom escaped Esme's gentle eyes as she pleaded with her husband for the life of their son.

_NO_. Carlisle's eyes shut tightly to block out the sight of his Esme's anguish. Jasper had caused her pain but Carlisle knew that the deeper despair was his own doing. His body tensed as he battled fiercely to restrain his beast but the harder he pushed the greater the beast resisted.

Without warning Carlisle released his son and leaped to his feet. He glanced at his children processing their looks of disbelief, fear and loathing. The expression of debilitating grief on Esme's face caused his frozen heart to fracture. As he dropped his eyes to hide his shame from his family his focus fell on his brave solider son who now sprawled at his feet unmoving. The battle replayed in his head until it stopped on a vision of pure unadulterated terror in Jasper's expressive eyes.

What had he done? _What have I become?_ Carlisle glanced back at his family once more then turned away from their accusatory eyes and raced off into the forest before he could cause them more suffering.

Alice ran to Jasper and dropped to the ground at her mate's side, gently touching his face. "Jazzy open your eyes. It's alright. It's over."

Jasper kept his eyes shut as he briskly shook his head.

"Jasper," Esme's voice was soft and calming. "Son, please look at me."

Again the fair haired solider shook his head. He knew what he had done, the pain he had caused. He had harmed his family and now could not bring himself to face his crimes nor those he had wronged. He flinched at his mother's touch as she examined the wounds on his throat.

"Venom?"

The anxiety in her tone brought tears to his closed eyes. How could she be worried about him after what he had done to her?

"Jasper, are you in pain?" Her voice carried a seriousness that demanded a truthful response.

His broken ribs ached but he shook his head. "I'm okay, momma. It was a dry bite." His body visibly shook as he was overcome by emotion.

"Shh, honey. It's over. Calm down, baby."

"Momma, I have Jazz." Alice's quiet voice caused a whimper to come from her mate. She ran a hand through his hair trying to comfort him but he turned his face away from her in shame. Alice sighed softly at her lover but quickly looked to her mother. "Go. He needs you now. He isn't going to let the rest of us close and he shouldn't be alone. Please, momma. Jazz is safe but daddy is suffering all by himself." Her eyes unfocused and when she spoke again her tone pleaded with Esme. "Let daddy know that we love him." She shook her head slightly. "We'll never leave him." Her amber eyes flicked up to her mother's worried countenance. "I... I don't know... He needs your love and forgiveness." A tear rolled down Alice's cheek as her visions overwhelmed her.

Esme nodded as she got to her feet. She wanted to care for her children but she knew that Alice was right. They all needed Carlisle and right now he needed her to be his strength so that her love could lead him back into the security and love of his family's arms.

"Jasper, son, I want you to listen to me. I have never felt the need to do this before by as your mother I am ordering you to look at me."

She watched her son try to resist but eventually his respect for her authority forced him to obey. Swallowing hard he opened his eyes and struggled to accept his mother's loving gaze.

"Do you see? I'm fine. There is nothing that has transpired here today that can not be forgiven. Understand?" She raised an eyebrow to stress her words." I think it would be best if you and Alice go on a little hunt. Some fresh blood will help calm you."

He looked away but nodded in agreement.

Esme turned her attention towards the rest of her flock. "It wouldn't be a bad idea for all of you to feed. Em, let Edward and Rose help you."

"Aw, mom."

"Baby bear, I know but you aren't going to be up to par until your father can fix that broken wing." Esme noticed a look that passed between Edward and Emmett. "No. You will not do it yourselves." She glanced directly at her daughter. "Rose, if you all do decide to hunt, please immobilize that shoulder but don't let anyone else touch Em until I get back."

Rosalie smiled at her mother. "He'll be in the same damaged state when you return. Don't worry, mom. I won't let Edward tear Em's arm off."

"HEY, I resent that remark."

Rosalie shoved Edward slightly away from her mate. "Em is my toy and I won't have you breaking him."

Esme smiled weakly, glad to see some of the tension among her children being released. It was going to be a long rough road before the wounds to her family were fully healed but at least this appeared to be a promising start.

Her heart grew heavier as she noticed Jasper's continuing attempts to avoid Alice's love and acceptance. Esme sighed knowing that Carlisle would be just as stubborn as his son when it came to accepting forgiveness and even worse when it came to forgiving himself. _Frustrating bullheaded men._

"I'll be back as soon as I can."

With that she slipped into the protection of the forest. She had to find Carlisle quickly before he had too much time to descend into the blackness of self loathing and guilt. She knew from experience how he would allow remorse to consume him. She also know that he would resist her efforts to show him that he was still cherished by her and the children. Knowing what laid before here caused her pace to slow slightly as she followed his scent deeper into the forest letting her mind wander. He was a wounded animal whom she had every intention of backing into a corner. She could only hope her love could break through his resistance and be able to bring him home.

**AN:** Esme will have to get that beast back in its cage but I get the feeling that Carlisle is going to fight her every step of the way. Jasper is going to have a hard time coming to grips with having hurt his mother and his mate. ... I'm not sure if father or son is the most angst ridden at this point. Then there is poor Em with his bum shoulder. Hope Pops gets his act together quickly so he can put that loveable bear back together.

Thanks one and all for the wonderful reviews, adds, pms and the like. It's really humbling to find this odd trek into the Cullen world so accepted when I have been hesitant to delve into it. Glad I took the leap after all.

Sorry for typos and such, guys. I posted this sucker at 2am. LOL. Proofreading goes astray around that time of the night, I'm afraid. I'll go back and try to edit out the worst when I'm more awake.


	4. Sins of the Father

**AN:** Two chapters in a day... took a slow day at work and 20 oz. of Redbull to get it done. By the time this story winds up I will have consumed my weight in energy drinks. I swear, but playing around in Carlisle's head can wear me out. I'm starting to think I've made him too complex. o.O

* * *

Carlisle's mind raced as he ran from his home to find refuge in the surrounding wilderness. What he had feared most had finally happened and there would be no return to his blissful charade of a life. He had stumbled across that invisible line to plunge head first into the abyss from where there was no possibility of escape. For the first time in a century or more, Carlisle no longer knew who he was. He could no longer picture himself as the cornerstone of his beloved family. He had struggled for so long to be a good man but he knew now that was something he had never truly accomplished. He had never and would never genuinely be good. A good man would not have lost his temper. A good man does not incite fear in his family members. _A good honorable man never hurts his child but that is exactly what I have done._

The patriarch stopped in a small clearing. With his hands rested on his hips, he paced like a caged animal as he silently berated himself. _This should never have happened. How is it that I lost so much control?_ He kept his eyes averted as regret and guilt washed over him like a tidal wave. Carlisle rubbed his hand over his face but as it fell away he noticed that his knuckles were sticky with his son's venom. The blood tinted smear was a very real reminder of how brutally he had treated his son.

With a groan of disgust, Carlisle balled up his fist and punched the nearest tree sending shards of wood flying as his knuckles shattered. He hissed through gritted teeth as pain shot up his arm. Physical pain was a familiar friend who had always visited him whenever he had done wrong in his life. There was something that felt right at having it return to him now. Physical pain was something he knew he could handle; it was the mental and emotional torment that he feared most.

Carlisle turned, pressing his back against the rough bark of the tree as he bounced his head off the hard surface in frustration. The coven leader closed his eyes to block out the world then, gritting his teeth against the sharp pain, he ran his hands through his hair until his fingers stiffly laced together at the base of his skull. His knees buckled, sending him sliding down the tree until he rested nestled among its ancient roots.

The thought that quietly yet persistently plagued him since he ran like a coward from his family began to scream in his mind. He loosened his fingers allowing his hands to fall until they rested on his bent knees. Again his dark eyes focused on the venom that stained his now swollen knuckles. He had struck his son in anger and here was the indisputable proof. It hadn't been an act of self defense nor one of disciplinary action carried out by the hands of a caring father. No, it had been a violent attack on his near innocent son.

Carlisle's chest tightened as a piece of his soul died when he realized that he could no longer ignore the facts. He, Doctor Carlisle Cullen, the compassionate pacifist, the tireless healer, the monster who tried so desperately to put aside his nature and who cherished kindness and humanity above all else, was now the thing he hated most. Carlisle Cullen was an abuser. He was undeniably his father's son.

His tortured soul cried out loudly devastating the peaceful silence of the forest as his disgust with himself grew. As if it wasn't enough to abuse his son, he had gone a step further and had held the boy's very life in his hands while he teetered on the brink. Tears of remorse filled his eyes as he realized how close he had come to killing his boy. No matter how many years he may still have in this existence he knew that he would never be able to erase the image of Jasper's terror filled eyes from his memory. That sight would remain to torment him forever. Carlisle cradled his bowed head in his hands, his elbows propped on his knees, while his shoulders shook with ragged sobs.

He had known that sort of fear in his youth. It had been his father who had put that hated emotion into him. Countless nights he had laid in his bed, bruised and bleeding, crying himself into exhaustion after one of his father's lessons. Carlisle had always wanted to be a good boy. He really did. He wanted to follow his father's rules thereby gaining the vicar's acceptance and love, but his best had just never been good enough.

Over the years, Carlisle had grown to understand that the treatment he had suffered at his father's hands stemmed from the man's belief that his son was the cause of his wretched loneliness. His wife had died in childbirth, leaving her suffering husband behind to raise their only child alone. The fair haired bright eyed boy was meant to have been their hope but instead he served as the constant reminder of what had been lost, becoming his father's living reminder of hell.

As unjust as his father's reasoning had been, Carlisle knew that grief held strange and often terrible sway over a man. He couldn't bring himself to honestly hate his father for his warped views. Over time, he came to forgive and pity the man. All the vicar had wanted was love but he was too blinded by lost to see that the target of his resentment was only too willing to provide that love unconditionally.

Because of his father's religious rhetoric, as a child Carlisle had seen himself as an imperfect vessel completely unworthy of love or to be called his father's son. The senior Cullen had taken every opportunity to establish that belief in the boy and Carlisle learned it far too well. His father claimed he was acting out of love as he tried to temper his son's sinful ways with the sting of the lash. He regularly beat the boy, safe in the knowledge that he was doing God's will by punishing the body to save the soul. Carlisle's suffering would purge his everlasting soul of iniquity, placing him on the path of righteousness, but the clergy man's son proved to be pathetic and weak.

Carlisle had wanted to take his punishments like the man his father wanted him to be but without fail he would breakdown before his father's displeasure had been spent. His father took his tears as either weakness or, on occasions when the boy's sins had been particularly heinous, as an attempt to manipulate the minister's sympathies. It would be then that Carlisle would be forced to endure the most severe beatings, leaving him racked with pain and nearly unable to move the next day.

Through it all he had striven to keep to the commandment to honor his father. He would often remind himself that his suffering was his own fault. If he could only have been a better son then his father wouldn't have been forced to punish him so harshly. Carlisle had been aware that there were other children who suffered worse fates. There were boys and girls alike in his village who lived in fear that their drunken fathers would take a whip to them simply because of a bad day at work or in the fields. At least his father had reasons that were just. He often reminded the boy that the he was only looking out for the security of his soul in the afterlife. The bite of the whip was only meant to turn him from his sinful ways so he would grow into a righteous man.

A loud anguished wail suddenly reverberated through the clearing as the memories of his childhood melded with the memory of how he had treated his son. Jasper was a good man, far better then Carlisle could ever hope to be. Regardless of his transgressions, he never deserved to be treated as unjustly as Carlisle had treated him. The fear on his son's face was proof enough that his father's lessons had failed miserably. Carlisle was as loathsome as his father had always claimed him to be. His soul was lost to Satan's claws and redemption was nothing more then an empty promise from the man who had used a whip claiming to be securing that same soul for God all those years ago.

"You failed, father and now I have followed in your footsteps. I have harmed a boy whom I am not worthy to call my son."

Carlisle's hands covered his face as his tears freely flowed. _Yes, father, tears are for the weak. You have bred a son who doesn't have the strength to control his anger. I am too weak to protect my family from myself._

"I am a vile despicable weak abomination from hell who thought if he just wanted it bad enough he could overcome his station in life to become a better man." A bitter humorless laugh erupted from his hoarse throat at the thought that a black souled creature like himself could ever entertaining such a ludicrous dream. "I know that I am unworthy of redemption but a merciful God would have never allowed me to experience the love I've felt from my family. Now my soul will surely be destroyed at loves loss. Is that what passes for righteous justice? Is my very existence a sin so great that I must be made to suffer so?"

"How **can** you believe that our love is conditional? Don't you know your family better then that, Carlisle Cullen?"

At the sound of the gentle voice, Carlisle slid his hands down his face until his eyes were once again uncovered. There, standing so very still in the clearing illuminated by the multiple hues of the setting sun, was a vision of an angel sent by God to surely save him from damnation.


	5. For Want of a Nail

Hot blood flowed across Jasper's tongue as he held the gentle doe while the light of life left her eyes. Alice had offered to take him further north to hunt wolves but he had declined, in part because he wanted to stay close to home but there was a more important reason. The blood of a predator, the thrill of a more dangerous hunt, was a treat to be enjoyed that would have been grossly out of place at this time. Predator hunts were about reveling in your power but Jasper was feeling anything but powerful right now.

The blood in his mouth turned bitter as bile at the thought of his actions today. How could he have behaved so childishly? He sighed at his rashness, then mentally kicked himself. None of this would have happen if he hadn't had been an ass towards Emmett. He knew that the damage done to his bike had been an accident. He should have been more concerned about the state of his brother instead of that stupid machine. One could easily be replaced where as the other was a one of a kind original whose loss Jasper would have found completely devastating.

Tears came to the sensitive boy's golden eyes as his mind conjured images of Emmett's shoulder being hyper extended as he howled in distress. Thank God Edward and Alice arrived when they did. Jasper shuddered to think how differently things could have ended today.

Untangling himself from the rapidly cooling carcass, the solider rose to his feet and walked towards the cliff's ledge, his arms tightly wrapped around his chest. The sun was just starting its nightly decent, coloring the sky in shades of pink, orange, lavender and mauve. On a normal day he would be standing here with his loving mate in his arms watching as nature peacefully painted her canvas, but today he had asked her to let him hunt alone. She had been reluctant to say the least but eventually agreed to give him some time to himself. As much as he craved Alice's comfort, right now he needed time to think and deal with his own emotional state without her's adding to the confusing mix.

The breeze ruffled his hair as it flowed over him, trying to carry away his worries. Jasper inhaled deeply, allowing the freshness of the air to revive him as it filled his lungs. None of them had a need for air but all found relaxation in the very human action of breathing.

His eyes glazed over with sadness as he recalled what his actions had caused. A simple accident had led to an escalation that resulted in his father's self exile. If he had just accepted Emmett's apology like an adult instead of going off on him like a spoiled child he would have never lost his grip on reality. He would have never attacked Esme which prompted Carlisle's rightful response against him. _Small actions do indeed result in huge consequences._

"For the want of a nail the kingdom was lost," he muttered softly as he hung his head while guilt consumed him.

Delicate fingers raked through his hair as his mate came up beside him.

"You need a nail for something?"

The curiosity and concern in her voice caused him to smile slightly in spite of himself.

"No, love. It's a very old proverb that came to mind. It just seems to fit the situation. Too bad I didn't think about it before I went off half cocked on Emmett."

He met her eyes for a brief moment then looked away towards the setting sun.

"I don't know how I can possibly face the others when it hurts so much to face you." He swallowed hard fighting back tears of regret for what he had done to his entire family but mostly for the abhorred way he had treated his wife.

"No one blames you, Jazzy. You need to stop blaming yourself. It's not healthy."

"How can I not blame myself. This is all my fault. Carlisle is out there somewhere hating himself for something that I am responsible for. I know you have seen him suffering, baby, but I felt it just before he left. He should never have to experience that. No one should. And the thing is, he wouldn't have if I hadn't been such a jackass." A single tear rolled down his cheek which he quickly brushed away before wrapping his arm around his mate's shoulders. "What kind of a man does that to those he loves?"

"A fallible one. We all make mistakes, Jazz. The only one who expects you to be perfect is you."

Alice placed a soft kiss on his neck before laying her head against his shoulder to watch the sunset. She knew that this bit of a blunder would take Jasper time to get over but she was determined to see him through it. Their vows had said for better or for worse and she had meant it.

She felt his body tense but she waited patiently for him to speak. Alice knew he had to come to grips with things in his own good time and way. She would try to steer him in the right direction but she knew better then to push.

"Alice..." His voice broke as he removed her arm from his waist and turned her to face him. "Alice, I am so sorry." He blinked rapidly trying to keep the tears of venom which blurred his vision at bay. "I would have never..."

Alice placed her finger against his lips. "Shh. I know, Jazzy. I know. That wasn't you."

"But it was."

"No, it wasn't." He tried to turn away but her hand against his cheek brought his eyes back to hers. "That may have been you but that was a long time ago. That is not who you are anymore." She ran the hand that cupped his face up through his hair as he leaned into her caress. "I know that you could never hurt me, my love. There isn't any question about that in my mind. Besides," she smiled brightly at him, "I'm one pretty tough cookie. I don't mind playing rough sometimes."

Her hand in his hair pulled his head down towards her so she could kiss her mate. Jasper moaned low as their lips met. He hesitated for a few seconds before he nervously returned the kiss.

Alice giggled as she pulled away. "We can fight whenever you want to since that will always give us a reason to kiss and make up after."

Jasper smiled and shook his head at his impish mate. "Minx."

"Oh, you have that right, mister major sir, and tonight I'll show you just how much of a minx I can be." Alice nipped at his bottom lip then drew him into another deep kiss.

This time when she pulled back a dark expression flitted over her face as she slowly let out a held breath.

"We need to get back soon. Momma is going to need all of us."

Alice noticed Jasper flinch at the mention of Esme. She wrapped her arms around her mate and hugged him tight.

"What did I say about you being perfect?" She raised an eyebrow as she looked at him expectantly.

He rolled his eyes then answered, "That I'm the only one who expects that from myself."

"There you go. Momma isn't mad at you." Alice frowned slightly as she gazed off in the distance causing Jasper to tilt his head in wonder as he watched her. "Though I'm not sure that there won't be some repercussions."

"I should expect that there will be."

"It's strange though." She continued to stare for a few more minutes then shook her head to clear away the confusing vision. "Odd."

"What about our family isn't odd?"

Alice's musical laugh filled the evening air. "No arguments from me." She grasped Jasper's hand firmly in hers. "Let's get back home. Race you."

Jasper found his hand released then suddenly he hit the ground as Alice shoved him hard before taking off in the direction of home. Growling playfully he scrambled to his feet and gave chase. He knew the reprieve would be short lived and soon he would have to face the others along with the consequences of his actions but he would enjoy the few moments of exhilaration while he could.

"Alice, my baby doll, you always know just what I need."

**AN:** Yep, I probably should have put these two chapters together but the feeling of each one of them was so different to me that I just felt they needed their own place. Jasper at least has a little hope coming through for him from Alice's forgiveness. Carlisle doesn't have that yet.

Thanks for all the wonderful comments. Good Lord, guys but y'all can sure make a simple girl blush. *grins*


	6. The Gift of Love

Esme watched as Carlisle dropped his hands from his face then crossed his arms tightly over his chest, looking very much like a small lost child hugging himself for comfort. His eyes, glistening with tears, were tainted with strong emotions. Within their dark depths she could see remorse, despair, and something that looked remarkably like fear. In all their years together she had seen sides of her soul mate that he kept well guarded from all others, but never before has she come across the frighten little boy who now huddled before her.

She approached him slowly as she smiled gently at her mate hoping to soothe away that fear.

"It's alright, Carlisle, my love. Everything is going to be okay." Her voice was light and reassuring, belying the worried nervousness she was experiencing. She reached a hand out to gently brush his cheek but his response was to pull away as he drew himself tighter into his protective cocoon.

"Esme, don't." His eyes pleaded with her before he shut them tightly and turned his face away. "Don't touch me."

"Are you injured? What's wrong?" Esme noticed his swollen hand and felt her chest tighten with concern for her husband. Her first priority after the fight had been her son but now she felt a pang of regret. Apparently it was Carlisle whom she should have worried about more. "Carlisle, talk to me, please. Tell me what I can do to help you."

He shook his head and Esme could hear his shallow rapid breath catch in his chest.

"There is nothing to do."

Her soft touch lighted on his shoulder for a second before he jerked away then turned on her with a hiss, eyes flashing dangerously.

"I said don't touch me, Esme. I can't be trusted and I don't want to hurt you. Please just leave me. Go home where you will be safe from this... this... **thing** that I've become."

Esme's eyes hardened as she stared down into her husband's pain filled face.

"Carlisle Cullen, you are not some thing. You are the same kind gentle soul who I fell in love with from the first moment I met you as a silly sixteen year old girl who had no business climbing trees. The same wonderful man who literally gave me a new life when my own hopelessness sent me to seek relief in death.

I will not stand idly by and witness as you debase yourself. I love you far too deeply to allow such a thing to occur."

"You don't understand."

"You're right, I don't understand and I won't be able to understand unless you talk to me. You have to let me in, Carlisle. Don't block me out like some stranger."

All the hurt and suffering of the world seemed reflected in Carlisle's eyes as he tried to find the courage within himself to comply with his wife's request. He longed for the comfort of her embrace but he feared that she might do or say something that would cause him to lash out at her. He could not trust himself and the very thought of hurting her sickened his very soul. How would he ever be able to live if something was to actually happen? Fresh tears stung his eyes as that dark thought consumed his mind.

Esme watched as Carlisle warred with himself. She couldn't stand to see him like this but was at a loss as to what she could do. If she pushed too hard she stood the chance of having him lock her out completely, but to do nothing meant watching him torture himself for God only knew how long.

Inhaling deeply, she sat down next to him but resisted her desire to comfort him with her touch. He needed to know that he wasn't going to be able to chase her away and she could only pray that knowledge would be enough to help him with whatever he was going through.

Releasing her held breath, she willed the tension out of her body then spoke in the soft soothing tones one would use with a frightened child.

"Carlisle, why do you think that you are better then your children?"

The desperate sadness in his eyes swiftly was overtaken by an expression of utter shock.

"I don't. How can you say such a thing, Esme?"

"You must, love." With his expression darkening in confusion she quietly continued. "If you did not think of yourself as better then them you would be able to forgive your mistakes as easily as you forgive theirs. It seems to me that you have elevated yourself higher. That is the only reason that I can think of that would cause your fall from grace, as it were, to be so much harder. You must have fallen a great deal further if you can't be forgiven."

"My sin is greater. I nearly killed my son. How can that simply be forgiven and forgotten?"

Esme smiled inwardly at her mate's words. Not only had she managed to get him talking which gave her something to work with, but in his tone she detected a touch of annoyance which was better then self pity and crushing guilt. That ever so slight anger meant that she had hit a nerve causing Carlisle to think with his head instead of just his heart.

"Do you forgive Jasper?"

"What?"

"It is an easy yes or no question. At this very moment do you feel anger or resentment towards your son?"

"No, of course not."

"Then you have forgiven him?"

"Yes, Esme. I have forgiven him. I fail to see..."

"But his sin is really no different, is it?"

Carlisle opened his mouth to protest but the words never came. He blinked away his tears as he gazed at his loving intelligent wife who simply sat there with a knowing look on her face. He wished to God that he could find a fault in her diatribe but he knew that he had just been bested.

"You should have become an attorney instead of an architect."

"Why is that, Doctor Cullen?" She allowed a warm smile to curl her lips as she gazed lovingly at her still clearly troubled husband while her hand gently brushed his cheek. She thrilled when he accepted her touch. "Don't you like my artistic endeavors?"

"Very much so, Mrs. Cullen, but there would be far fewer innocents behind bars if you were defending them." The slightest ghost of a smile touched his lips before vanishing once again. "Or substantially fewer criminals walking the streets depending on if your taste favored prosecution."

Though the sadness remained, love shone equally as brightly in his eyes as he gazed in wonder at the beautiful angel who sat so close to the lowly sinner. "I don't know what I would have done..."

"Shh." Esme leaned over and silenced his words with a soft kiss. "You are stuck with me for a very long time, lover. I'm not going anywhere."

Esme ran her fingers through his thick blond hair as she brushed some of the forest debris from it. Against his better judgement, Carlisle found himself closing his eyes and purring quietly as he gave himself over to her healing touch. He still looked so much like a scared little boy that Esme found herself needing to cuddle him close. To her surprise and delight, he no longer fought against her and soon was reclining in her arms with his head resting in her lap while she hummed softly.

The clearing was bathed in pale moonlight by the time she felt him fully relax. His breathing had slowed and deepened. Occasionally she heard it stop as his body tensed but he was recovering quicker each time.

"What is that tune, sweetheart? I don't recall having heard it before."

In response she gave words to the melody.

"_There's angels in twilight, shadows in rain_

_Testing our courage and they're riding this train_

_There's angels in twilight, shadows in rain_

_Testing our courage and they all know our names."_

He smiled as he lightly laughed. "Appropriate as you are most surely my angel."

"Are you ready to tell me what happened?" She prompted him gently as she looked down to find that the eyes staring back up at her had returned to their normal bright gold.

He sighed deeply as he glanced away before he spoke.

"I should have intervened sooner. The altercation should have never gotten so far out of hand. When I heard Rose come in the house grumbling I called her upstairs to the study to find out what was going on. She told me about the fight but I just didn't realize how serious it was becoming."

With another sigh, Carlisle pulled away from his mate and sat up once again with his back against the tree. He forced himself to meet her eyes. There was a fleeting moment where he feared that he would encounter judgement in those eyes but his worry vanished when he found nothing but love, curiosity and concern in their topaz depths. Swallowing back his fear, he continued.

"Rose had already gone back downstairs after something when we both heard Emmett cry out. She was out of the door like a shot but the gravity of the situation had yet to hit me. I didn't follow fast enough but when I finally caught up I saw Jasper..." His eyes suddenly closed as his voice broke. Dropping his head, Carlisle brought his fist up to cover his mouth while he swallowed hard trying to dislodge the lump of venom which choked him.

Esme's hand rested lightly on his thigh, maintaining a connection as the flood of memories overtook Carlisle.

"Carlisle, don't. There is no need to relive that. What I was asking is what happened out here? What did I walk into?" She very gently took his damaged hand in hers. "What was the cause of this?"

He pulled his hand away and slowly balled up his fist then released it with a slight wince. "It's nothing. An accident."

Esme cocked an eyebrow as she watched her husband intently.

"You are the world's worst liar, Carlisle Cullen. You seem to forget that we live with five perpetual teenagers so I am skilled at ferreting out the truth. You, my love, can not pull the wool over my eyes."

"I was just upset, Esme. May we please leave it at that? It is nearly healed anyway."

"You're not..."

"I am a doctor, Mrs. Cullen. I believe I can tell when bones are on the mend."

Esme cleared her throat as she tilted her head slightly giving her mate a look that she normally reserved for silencing her children. She was pleased to find that it had the same effect on him.

"As I was saying, you're not like him."

"Like who?" Carlisle's forehead creased in confusion as he struggled to follow while her train of thought appeared to have jumped track.

Exhaling in a heavy sigh, Esme looked up at the moon willing its glow to fortify her strength. When she looked back to her mate she reached out and took his hands in hers, rubbing her thumbs gently over them.

"I know abuse, Carlisle. You know what I suffered through with Charles. These are not the hands of an abusive man." He tried to pull away but she held him fast. "I didn't hear much but what I did hear was your claim to be following in your father's footsteps." She looked up into his eyes noting the return of fear. "Nothing could be further from the truth. Trust me."

* * *

**AN:** Sorry, y'all. Carlisle needed a little tough love to get through to him. Esme is working hard to recover our favorite daddy vamp but he isn't willing to make things easy; hard headed man.

Thank y'all for hanging in there with me. It's a bumpy ride but we're getting there. Thanks for keeping me going with your kind words, reviews and pms. You guys are just the best. *hugs*

Oops. I nearly forgot. The song is lovingly borrowed from a pub owner Irish bard friend of mine, one Mr. Danny O'Flaherty. The song is titled "Angels in Twilight" and should anyone what to hear what it sounds like it is out there on Youtube.


	7. Breaking Down the Walls

Carlisle's eyes broke from hers to glance down at his hands. He did trust her. He would always trust his dear beloved Esme but...

_Esme, you just can't know. You are able to see one side due to your horrid experience, but you simply can't know what is locked up inside of me. If you did you would never stay with me. Today proved that it has always been there just laying in wait until I weakened enough for it to escape. Now that it has found a way to liberate itself it will become harder and harder to contain. What if the next time it shows its true form it moves against one of the children who is less battle ready then Jasper? What if it attacks one of my baby girls? What if it grows angry with you?_

"I struck my son... in anger. That **is** an act of abuse. One that I am only all too familiar with."

Esme sighed softly to herself. Why did the man with a heart large enough to care for the entire world have so little love for himself? He was easily the most gentle creature that had ever crossed her path and it frustrated her that he couldn't see that in himself. She kept her hold on his injured hand but released the other so she could place her palm against his chest, hovering just over his silent stilled heart.

"This is you, Carlisle and it doesn't contain the twisted spirit of abuse. An abuser might have moments of remorse but nothing near what you are putting yourself through. You have a merciful spirit. You are my tenderhearted husband, a lovingly sympathetic father and a strong supportive leader to our little family of misfits. We pass so easily as a family, even under human scrutiny, because that is exactly what we are and the reason for that is the respect and love we have for one another."

Carlisle tried to turn his head away but Esme cupped his cheek and gently prevented his escape, forcing him to focus on her and her words.

"There is nothing that prevents the children from leaving. They are all very capable adults who can make their own way in the world. They stay with us because they want to. If you were the abusive monster that you are trying to see yourself as, can you honestly say that they wouldn't have left a long time ago?

The protective instinct that came out in you when Jasper hurt me is very much alive and active in every one of the children. Do you think Emmett would allow Rosalie to reside in a place where he feared for her safety? For that matter, do you not realize that Rose is a strong woman who would not stand for abuse. If you have the slightest question in your mind about that, think back to what happen to Royce King and his friends. She is not one to put up with mistreatment yet she very willingly submits to your authority. That is something I feel very safe in saying would never happen if she didn't have complete trust in you; if she didn't know you as the loving decent man we see everyday.

Edward's sensitivity couldn't tolerate living in an abusive situation and don't even make me start with Alice and Jasper. There isn't even a venom tie to hold them. They are here completely of their own free wills because they **want** to be part of our family."

Carlisle wanted to believe his wife but the vision of Jasper's terror filled eyes reenforced the truth of his toxic thoughts. How could Esme claim that he was decent if he was capable of eliciting that sort of response in a boy whom he loved? The fact that he knew how deeply Jasper's bravery ran and all the horrors it had helped him endure did nothing more then drive his belief in his own wretchedness further home.

"I thought that I could beat the odds but today proved that I haven't. It is basic psychological profiling well backed by statistics. I can show you case study after case study. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I didn't want it to be true, I knew that I was destined to become my father, Esme. It is a fact that has always been there but I have never had the heart to face it."

His head dropped as the shame washed over him. It was his worst nightmare brought to life and admitting it to his mate was harder then it should have been. He never doubted her love but he didn't want her burdened with his hideous affliction. It was his fault, it was his problem, and it was his burden to bear. He raised his fist up against his lips as grief caused a strangled whine to catch in his throat.

"I should have stayed alone. I knew better then to ever have children. The only good thing is that at least thus far I don't seem to be prone to spousal abuse."

His voice was muffled but Esme hung on his every word. Carlisle shook his head as venom stung his eyes.

"I should leave. You would all be better off without me."

Esme gasped as if she had just been slapped in the face. For a few breaths she stood still simply staring at her tormented mate. Once the initial shock wore off, she grasped his hand and pulled it away from his face.

"Carlisle Cullen! You look at me right now!" When he didn't respond she switched her hold from his hands to his shoulders and gave him a light shake causing him to shift his attention from the ground to the stressed expression on her face. "Don't you ever say anything like that ever again. Don't even think about leaving the children and me or so help me God..."

He closed his eyes and turned away trying to block out her panicked tone before it could cause his heart to break further.

"On no you don't. You don't get off that easy." She caught his chin and turned his face back towards her. "Open your eyes, Carlisle. You require the children to look you in the eye and that is the least you can do for me."

With a resigned sigh he forced himself to glance back at Esme. The sadness etched across her beautiful face brought tears to his eyes but he blinked them back rapidly. The last thing he would ever want to do would be to hurt his devoted gracious mate but it appeared that he was destine to hurt everyone he held dear.

"Carlisle Cullen, you listen to me and you listen well. You are the head of this family and I **will** hold you to your responsibilities to it. Together there is nothing we can't overcome. I refuse to even consider not having you by my side. We all need you. Your son needs you."

"I am the last person he needs," he spat scathingly.

The bitterness in Carlisle's voice took Esme by surprise but it only reaffirmed her determination to not allow him to continue on this downward self defeating spiral.

"**You** are the person he needs most." When Carlisle huffed in disbelief she continued. "Jasper needs to know that he has your forgiveness. Without that reassurance he will never be able to forgive himself. You already know this, Carlisle. It wouldn't surprise me if our sensitive southern son doesn't feel abandoned right now. I can talk to him and forgive him just fine but it's you that he will feel the need to make amends with.

You are allowing self pity to blind you to your responsibility to that boy and it stops now. You're not going to do this to him. Don't you think that he is castigating himself just as badly as you are? He may not be of your venom but he is every bit your son, Carlisle."

His eyes glazed over with venom tears as her words began to break down his defenses. He could no longer deny that her arguments weren't valid. He didn't know how he could do it but he was going to have to find the inner strength to face his son. Jasper did not deserve to suffer and, as his father, Carlisle really was the only one who could offer absolution. The idea of reprimanding his brave solider boy absolutely terrified him. The 'what ifs' surrounding the confrontation brought up every frightening emotion to paralysis Carlisle as his gentle wife watched him with a critical eye. Suddenly the final protective wall he tried to hide behind crumbled as his tears began to freely flow.

Carlisle felt Esme's arms close around him as she pulled him into her healing embrace. The coven leader who had always been the cornerstone of his family, their steadfast reliable strength, was no more. In his place was Vicar Cullen's lamentable feeble son. All of his shields had dropped as he completely broke down in his wife's loving arms as she accepted him, flaws and all. There was no one else with whom he could be so utterly vulnerable in front of. If it wasn't for Esme he knew he would have been consumed by his demons long ago but the light of his life continually drove them back into shadow.

Esme raised a hand and laid it against the back of his neck as she welcomed his tears on her shoulder. Her fingers gently worked the knots of tension out of his hard corded muscles as she cooed soothingly. For the first time since she found her lover languishing in this clearing she knew that everything would truly be alright. The tears that he so rarely shed cleansed his troubled soul of his guilt and despair clearing the way to let her love in to rejuvenate him.

As he shifted against her neck, burning pain shot through her causing her breath to catch. Carlisle felt her stiffen as a soft gasp sounded in his ear. Drawing back from her tender administrations, he noticed her flinch as her hand covered the wound near her throat.

"Oh my God, Esme, love." His brow furrowed as he gentle encouraged her to move her hand and allow him to pull the collar of her blouse away exposing the inflamed injury. He could not believe that he had been so insensitive as to put his petty concerns before the physical condition of his wife.

"I'm okay, Carlisle. Most of the venom has already been metabolized. It is healing a little slower then I would have liked but it hardly hurts any longer."

He wiped the last remnants of tears from his eyes as the hurt little boy faded away to allow Carlisle to return to his well defined doctor mode with the ease of familiarity. Esme grimaced as his fingers lightly explored the ragged edges of the bite that he knew would become a battle scar.

"Really, love. I'm fine."

"Would you actually tell me any differently?"

"Carlisle, I would never lie to you." Her voice carried a hurt tone. She couldn't believe that he would question her honesty.

"Not even to try to protect one of your fledglings?" He cocked a brow as he studied her delicate face.

"Well, I would never actually lie but I suppose I might bend the truth a little."

Esme was happy to see a soft smile come across her husbands features. She was starting to fear that she would never see that treasured expression again so it was delightful to see its return.

"The first thing we do when we get home is clean your wounds well, young lady. The one on your arm is already healing but it would still be a good idea to wash it."

"Carlisle, it's not like it will get infected." She rolled her eyes at her doting husband.

"No it won't but if it's clean when the skin knits the scarring will be much less." He ran his hand along her cheek and up into her silky golden brown hair. "It's wise to follow the doctor's orders." He rubbed his nose against hers causing her to giggle quietly before he kissed her gently.

"Yes, doctor. I promise to be a good patient." She returned his smile as her eyes twinkled.

"You're my best girl, sweetheart. I couldn't live without you so let's try to avoid you becoming a patient again."

"I'll do my best. I much rather play patient then have to really be one." She winked at him causing Carlisle to laugh in spite of himself. Esme whispered something in her mate's ear that would have had him blushing were it possible.

"Mrs. Cullen!"

"Just a suggestion, doctor." She smirked at her lover.

He sighed softly.

"Let me see how things turn out with Jasper. I'm thinking that a little diversion afterward will be just what the doctor ordered."

She tilted her head slightly and grinned. "What the patient ordered, you mean."

Esme got to her feet then held her hand out to her husband. "I think we've allowed the children to have enough time at the house alone. The way they have been going today, I believe we should count ourselves lucky to still have a house standing when we get back."

Carlisle accepted the hand up and gave her a slight nod. His trepidation came back at the thought of not only having to face his son but at also being required to provide the correction that Jasper would expect from him as payment for his iniquity**_._**Guilt was the true enemy of them all.

"I do hope the house is still in tact. I'm not sure that I can take anymore excitement from the children today."

"That makes two of us, love." Esme cuddled against him as they picked their way slowly along the broken path through the trees towards their house and the children who made it a home.

* * *

**AN:** Y'all know, I can understand writer's block and generally can work through it but this time I was dealing with Carlisle block. He was not playing nice with Esme or myself. Thank goodness he is back on track. I really had hoped to get Em's shoulder looked after by now but.. nope. He has to hang on until the next installment. All I can say is thank God for Esme.

Thanks for all the fantastic comments. They helped keep me focused while Carlisle tried to throw me off track. Couldn't have done it without y'all.

Meet everyone back at the house soon. ;-)


	8. And Back at the House

"Where are they? They should have been back by now. This can't be good, Jazzy." Alice paced along the porch as she scanned the treeline for movement, racked with worry. Jasper had given up on trying to calm her for now and instead accepted her nervous tension as a part of his well deserved penitence. "I am so worried about daddy."

"Alice, my love, you don't need to tell me that. I understand better than anybody else." The casual manner in which he leaned against the railing was in direct opposition to his words but Alice noticed the darkness of his eyes and the tension in his body. Knowing that her emotional state was partly to blame, she gave him an apologetic smile as she nodded.

"I know that you do. I'm sorry but I just wish they would come home so we know that they are safe."

"Maybe we should go look for them," he offered hoping that at least that would offer him the chance of feeling useful and possibly divert his attention from thoughts of regret.

"No, they need to come to us and they will. It's just so hard to be patient. I've already seen that daddy will be okay but I just can't trust that until I actually see him here in front of me."

Jasper felt his body tremble ever so slightly as his uneasiness grew at the promise of having to face his father. How could Carlisle even be willing to speak to him, let alone forgive him, after what he had done to Esme? _Oh dear God Esme. How can I even hope to be able to repair the damage that I've caused to our relationship. All you have ever wanted to do was love me as your son and this is how I repay you? There is no way that you will ever be able to truly trust me again._ He rubbed his eyes in frustration.

Alice was at his side in an instant. "Jazz?"

Her expression made him realize that his wife might just know him a little bit too well. Was he really that transparent?

"I've already told you that momma isn't mad at you. She knows that you weren't thinking clearly. There is no point in fretting over something that you can't change."

"I know, darlin', but that is so much easier said then done. You're not the one who has to look 'em both in the eye and try to find a way to make things right again."

Jasper cringed as his petite mate let out an exasperated sigh.

"Let's try this again shall we, Major Whitlock, sir. You don't have to try so hard to make things right. Momma and daddy both want this all resolved so it can be left in the past where it belongs. The burden to do that is not all on you. They are going to meet you halfway; hell, more then half way if you let them, but the more you fight to monopolize the blame the harder you make things. They want to help you; let them. Just accept their forgiveness and it will all be over with."

"But, Alice..."

"No! Don't you 'but, Alice' me."

Jasper pulled back, a look of wide eyed shock on his face as his sweet little Alice suddenly snapped at him.

"You know what, Jazzy? Daddy is going to whip your butt good and you deserve it. Oh, no, not for what happen but for being so damn stubborn about it."

He continued to stare at his wife unsure of what to say when a crash from within the house brought him a moment of reprieve.

"Oh what now?" Alice's eyes went out of focus for several seconds then she shook her head in disgust. "Really?" The dark haired pixie was through the door in a flash with her mate following close on her heels.

"Rose, what did you want me to do? I couldn't just stand by and watch him act like a moron. I had to step in and help." Edward dodged a heavy crystal case that his sister threw at his head then groaned as it shattered behind him. "Are you trying to tell me that you wouldn't have done the same thing giving the circumstances?"

"No, I sure as hell wouldn't have. I would, however, have told him to stop and reminded him of what mom had said," she spat while glaring at her mate and brother as they tried to soothe things over.

"Dude, she is not taking this as well as I had hoped."

"Thanks for the heads up there, Em. I might have missed that fact had you not pointed it out."

"Just saying, Eddie."

Edward growled in response to his brother's use of the stupid nickname and was about to tell him off when Emmett spoke up again in a tone that set off warning alarms in his head.

"Rose, babe... come on. You don't want to do that. Put the lion down."

Edward's eyes narrowed at the sight of the heavy solid brass lion that represented a part of the Cullen coat of arms being strangled by his sister's grip.

"Rosalie, if you damage that Carlisle is going to..."

Edward ducked in the nick of time as the lion took a short flight which terminated in the figure becoming embedded in the wall behind his head, just missing Jasper who inadvertently stepped into the line of fire.

Apparently oblivious to the fact that she had nearly taken out her twin brother, Rose continued her rant at Edward. "Do you have any idea what you could have done to him? And you, Emmett, how in the hell could you be so damn stupid?"

"What is going on in here?" Jasper finally yelled after the shock of nearly being decapitated with a lion began to wear off. His eyes turned black as ink while his gazed shifted between his enraged sister and the targets of her frustration. The last thing their parents needed was more to worry about and he was determined to put an end to this ruckus before they could walk into it.

Rose looked at her blond brother with her own eyes black and flashing in anger. "That stupid jackass took it upon himself to reset Emmett's shoulder after mom made me promise not to let them do something that ignorant. She is going to go ballistic and it's all because they couldn't listen."

"I walked up to find this oaf slamming his shoulder into a boulder trying to reset it himself. I didn't want him causing more damage to it so I did what I felt was in Em's best interest. Mom should understand that. Look at him. The shoulder works fine now so there is nothing to get all pissed off about."

Jasper's head drooped slightly as he listened to the explanations and bickering. Once again, none of this would be happening had he not lost control. This was his fault and his siblings would end up taking the blame. _This night just keeps getting better and better._ Alice's light touch to his arm brought his focus back to the problem at hand.

"Rose, I really don't see momma being happy if you maim Edward regardless of how stupid he may have been to go against her wishes. Pretty sure one injured yutz is all she can handle right about now." He glanced over at the brass tail protruding from the sheet rock. "Safe to say damage to the house aint high on the list of how to keep in her good graces either."

"The fucking smart-ass could have ripped Emmett's arm off," she hissed as she crossed her arms defiantly.

"Better to be a smart-ass then a dumb-ass," Edward shot back as his temper began to get the better of him causing Rosalie to bristle as she snarled dangerously at her brother, her body tense and ready to strike out.

_At least if her arms are crossed she aint throwing things. Small improvement but I'll take what I can get. Just wish Edward would back off and give her some space. Baby brother aint helpin' matters at all._ "Shut up, Edward before I have to do somethin' to shut ya up. Rose, I understand what ya sayin' and I aint sayin' that you're wrong for being madder then a calf with a barbed wire tail but ya makin' things worse right now. We all need to calm down and get this place cleaned up quick. What do you think momma would say if she walked in that door right now and saw this going on?"

"She would say that there is one young lady in this house that is in dire need of a serious talking to. Apparently a couple of young men as well since they don't appear capable of following simple instructions. Either that or they are just feel the need to be defiant. Which is it, boys? " Esme tilted her head slightly as she spoke softly from her vantage point in the entrance way while Carlisle stood quietly behind her, a dangerously dark look in his eyes. "And if the language doesn't clean up right now I predict soap in some futures."

* * *

**AN:** Sorry that it's on the shorter side, ya. Just needed a little bridge to get the parents back home.. but hey, at least Emmett's shoulder is finally fixed. *snicker*

Reviews and Redbull keep me going, so thanks to everyone out there. Y'all are some serious kind of awesome. I promise not to keep you waiting long to get this minor hiccup resolved so Carlisle can turn his focus on poor Jasper.


	9. Setting Things Right

"Well, Edward, which is it?"

The young man's head snapped up as his mother spoke his name, not liking her tone of voice. Why was he the one to have to explain? This had been his bulky brother's fault. If he had been a bit more patient and just waited on their dad to come back and see to him they wouldn't be in this mess. Edward thought that what he had done had been the best course of action at the time but now he didn't feel as confident in his decision.

What was she asking him? Had he set out to defy her or had he just been stupid? Neither of those choices were particularly appealing and neither seemed right. Having to pick, he would have to say that he had been disobedient but the consequences for being stupid were far less intimidating. Inwardly he groaned as his mind feverishly tried to come up with some third option.

"Edward?" It was his father's quiet voice that brought an end to his mental debate.

"I just didn't want to see him aggravate his injury more."

"I understand that but I specifically told you not to try to do that yourself, didn't I?" Esme gave Edward a pointed look.

"Yes, ma'am." He instantly developed a new found fascination in the area rug as he scuffed the toe of his shoe against the pile.

Esme sighed softly as she looked over her pack of miscreants shifting nervously before her. She felt Carlisle's hands come to rest on her shoulders then give them a gentle squeeze of encouragement. She looked back at him trying to judge his emotional bearing. Though his eyes appeared stormy his mannerisms were calm as he gave her a brief smile. Her generally unflappable mate was trying to retake his rightful place as the cornerstone of their family but she could tell that he really wasn't ready to deal with his children's current antics.

"Edward, I think it best that you go up to your room,"Carlisle spoke softly as he glanced at his son. Edward nodded before swiftly disappearing up the stairs, only too happy to be out of the line of fire.

"Rosalie," Carlisle began only to allow his voice to fade as his wife's hand reached up to pat his before taking over.

"Rosalie, since it appears that this mess is your doing, please clean it up and once you're done I would like to have a few words with you," Esme requested in a calm quiet voice.

"Great. Now I'm in trouble because I couldn't control those two bozos," she spat as she glared angrily at her mother. "This isn't fair at all. You know that, right? I did the best I could but just because Edward thinks he knows better then everyone else and does his own thing, it's my fault. You know, maybe you should teach your beloved little boy how to listen instead of trying to push this off on me."

"Rosalie, no one is blaming you for Edward and Emmett's actions. All I am asking is that you clean up the mess that you **are** responsible for and then I would like to talk. At the moment you aren't in any serious trouble but keep this attitude up and that could very well change."

Rose gave her mother a look of utter disgust then huffed before storming off to get a broom so she could clean up the broken glass all while muttering under her breath.

Emmett watched his mate stalk away before turning his attention towards his parents. He couldn't help but feel that this blow up was all his fault and that thought showed on his face.

"Sorry, momma. I guess it was a little of both." He lowered his head but raised his eyes giving his mother his most pitiful expression while he waited for Esme's response.

"A little of both?" She looked confused at his words.

"Yes, ma'am. A little of being too stupid to follow directions and a little of being defiant because I wanted this fixed." He rolled his shoulder to make sure she was aware of what he was referring to.

Esme rolled her eyes as she gave her baby a sad smile. "You're not stupid, Em but you can be stubborn when the mood strikes you."

He ducked his head a little lower. "Yes, ma'am. I know that's right."

"Whenever I ask you to do something, or don't do something as in this case, I have a good reason for it, Emmy. I would have thought that you had enough respect for me to listen. I guess I know better now."

Emmett's shoulders slumped as his mother's accusation caused the most horrible feelings of regret to flood his body. Jasper, standing off to the side, shuddered and moaned at the intensity of his brother's emotions.

"I'm sorry, momma. I would never be disrespectful; at least not intentionally. I know that you were only looking out for me. I didn't mean to go against..."

"Yes you did, Emmett. You meant to disobey or Edward would have never found himself being dragged into assisting you." Esme left the comfort of her mate's embrace and walked over to her son as she continued to speak in a stern tone. "You left this house fully intent on deliberately disobeying me." Placing her hand beneath Emmett's chin she easily tipped his head up until he was looking into her disapproving eyes. "Baby bear, I don't know what got into you but you had better get it in check right now because if anything like this happens again you won't be sitting for a week. I'll make certain of that myself. Am I making myself clear?"

Esme removed her hand from her son's chin then took his elbow firmly and turned him slightly away. Before he had a chance to react, she landed three sharp swats to his rear end then turned him back to face her again. "I mean it, Emmett. I will not stand for deliberate disobedience, especially when it could cause you to be hurt."

Emmett's eyes were wide with shock at his mother's reprimand. He managed a slight nod then cleared his throat before muttering a quick, "Yes, ma'am."

"There are plenty more where those came from, young man. I would advise you not to tempt fate again."

"No, ma'am. I'm sorry, momma. I promise I won't do it again."

"I know you are, my big baby bear." Esme's tone softened as she pulled her dark curly haired boy into a tight embrace. She sighed softly as he wrapped his arms around her and placed his cheek against the top of her head. "Make sure that you keep that promise, honey, because if not I will make good on mine and that is something that I really don't want to have to do."

"I don't want you to have to either." He slowly pulled away and briskly rubbed his stinging behind. "If that was the teaser I sure as heck don't want a ticket for the full show."

Carlisle chuckled softly at his son's comment then gestured the boy over towards him.

With a heavy sigh, Emmett lumbered to his father slowly. The last thing he was looking forward to was round two with Pops. Knowing what was expected of him, he forced himself to look into his father's troubled eyes.

"Emmett, you should thank your mother for letting you off so lightly. Disobedience is a very serious transgression. I expect better from you, son."

"I know, Pops. I really just wasn't thinking of it like that."

"How about you start making it a habit of thinking before you act on something that you already know your mother and I would not approve of?"

"I'll try."

"That's all I ask of any of you." Carlisle ruffled his son's hair then gave him a reassuring pat on his back. "Now, go on up to my office. I'll follow in a few minutes."

Emmett deflated before Carlisle's eyes. "Aw, Pops. I really have learned my lesson. I don't want to be stuck standing all day tomorrow."

"Emmett, I just want to check your shoulder out. We may want to immobilize it for a day to make sure it heals properly but I won't know for sure until I examine it. I need to be certain that Edward has it properly aligned."

"Oh." Emmett gave his father a sheepish grin as he ran his hand through his dark locks in embarrassment. "I'll...yeah... okay. I'll meet you upstairs, Pops." Without another word he turned and trotted up the stairs.

Esme shook her head as she listened to her son's heavy footfalls take the stairs two at a time before darting down the hallway towards his prescribed destination. "Don't know about that boy."

"He **is** your son." Carlisle grinned at his mate but his smile quickly faded as he looked over to see his blond haired son staring back.

As soon as their eyes met, Jasper looked away. The feeling of his father's bitter shame was crippling. He knew that his leader had every right to be ashamed of him but the reality of it still stung like a well delivered slap.

Carlisle left the safety of the archway to approach his son. Taking a breath to steel his nerves he placed a hand gently on the boy's shoulder. "Jasper, once I'm finished examining your brother we really need to talk, but for now I would appreciate it if you and Alice could give Rose a hand in restoring order."

"Yes, sir." The soldier's eyes stayed averted as he accepted his father's orders. The stiffness of his stance caused Carlisle's vexation with himself to multiply. It was apparent that his son found it difficult to bare his touch or hear his words. He knew that this was all because of his irrational behavior. He could only hope that in time he would be able to repair the damage and regain his son's trust but for now he would graciously accept tolerance.

"Daddy?"

Carlisle's gaze shifted to his little princess who looked at him so gravely.

"Are you alright?"

Her father sighed. It was such a simple question but at the same time it was much more difficult to answer then it should be. He didn't want his children to worry but he refused to entertain the hypocrisy of a lie. He finally settled for the unadorned truth.

"I'm not sure, sweetheart but I believe that I will be."

Carlisle was startlingly knocked off balance slightly as Alice threw herself into his arms. She clung tightly to him as she spoke with her head firmly buried in his chest. "I was so worried about you. Don't ever run off like that again. Jazz and I didn't know what to do. He was getting ready to go looking for you. You can not put us through that again. I love you, daddy. Please, please don't put me through that again."

Her father smiled at her chiding as he cuddled his petite daughter to his breast. Carlisle found himself eternally grateful for her capacity to forgive. He had attacked and could have possibly killed her mate. By rights, she should be furious with him; instead she had been concerned with his welfare. Somehow she still managed to find a way to love him.

"I love you too, baby girl. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am." His voice was a whisper in her ear as he accepted the undeserved forgiveness with tears stinging his eyes. "I'll find a way to make it up to you; to you and Jasper. I don't know how yet but I will find a way."

Alice pushed away and slapped Carlisle's shoulder hard.

"What is wrong with the two of you?" She looked pass her father to find her mother's soft eyes. "How do you do it? How do you put up with it all. I have enough trouble keeping up with one."

Esme laughed at her daughter's exasperation. "Years of practice, sweetie. Years of practice."

Carlisle's stunned silence gave his wife a chance to put things back into motion. Rose had returned and was busying herself with the clean up efforts and her injured son was awaiting medical release so he could return to full duty.

"Alice, hon, let's get this place in ship shape. Please see about getting the lion out of the wall." Esme nodded towards the brass tail above her daughter's head.

Alice gave her father one last look of concerned frustration then glanced at the crooked tail. "But it makes for a lovely new coat hook."

Esme smiled. "We don't need a coat hook in the middle of the wall, love. Besides, I find that he looks much more regal on the mantle. He's not quite as kingly with just his back end showing."

"Here, let me help him regain his pride." Jasper finally spoke as he reached up and plucked the brass figure free then handed it to Alice.

Alice grinned as she dusted the gypsum grit from the stately lion's form. "Sometimes we can't regain our pride until after we face a little exposure." She brushed her fingers along Jasper's arm giving him her best smile.

Jasper smirked slightly then went to work helping with the clean up.

"Carlisle, let us work in peace while you go up and see to Emmett." Esme pushed him gently towards the stairs. "Once we're done I'll send Jasper up." She kissed him on the cheek and gave him a light swat to move him on his way. Carlisle pulled himself up to his full height then looked back over his shoulder at his mate.

Esme's eyes twinkled with mirth as she smiled. "What? It got Emmett moving so I figured it might help cut through your fog. Now get going unless you want some more." She winked at her husband then nodded towards the stairs before turning back to supervise her children, leaving Carlisle blinking in confusion until his feet found a will of their own to carry him to his study and the patient within.

* * *

**AN:** Next up... Carlisle and Jasper's confrontation. I can honestly say that I'm not sure how that is going to work out since they are both still blaming themselves. I guess that is better then blaming each other but it can make the outcome just as bumpy. One thing that I would like everyone to keep in mind... at no time has Carlisle been told about Jasper's mental break. He doesn't know why the attack happen, so chances are if he wasn't kicking himself he would still be hot about the threat to Esme. *nods* It should be interesting to see how he handles the reality of the situation. Hmmm...

As always, thanks for everything, y'all. I would also like to thank Splinter for her kind offer to beta for me. Should make some of this a little less painful to read. *giggles*


	10. Out of the Mouths of Bears

"Well, Emmett, I would say that you and Edward were very lucky. Your shoulder seems to have been treated fine and is well on the mend. You have full range of motion with minor discomfort. Excellent. I don't believe that we'll need to immobilize it after all." Carlisle took a couple of steps back from his son, giving him a few seconds to redress, then crossed his arms and sighed.

"To reinforce your mother's orders with my own, don't ever do anything so foolish again. Setting a shoulder is fairly straight forward but replacing a limb is a much more painful drawn out process that I would like to see you avoid at all cost. One very innocent slip from Edward and you would have been in serious agony."

"Sorry, Pops. I did mean it when I told momma that I wouldn't do it again. I'll make sure to leave the doctoring to a pro from now on."

Carlisle smiled as he reached out to ruffle his son's hair. "That's my big guy." Carlisle turned away to clear his impromptu exam area when a rather nervous cough from his son drew his attention back.

Emmett wore a slight hanged dog expression as he studied his father and carefully chose his words. "Um. Pops, you're going to be talking to Jasper?"

It was more of a statement then a question but Carlisle responded with a slight nod.

"Well, I just wanted you to know..." The boy ran his hand through his hair and inhaled deeply. "Pops, you need to know that this was all my fault."

Carlisle cocked his head slightly as he raised a brow. "How is the fault yours, Emmett? I can't see how you would have caused your brother to attack your mother."

"Well...no, not that, but I started the fight which led to it so in a not so roundabout way, it is my fault that mom was hurt." He shifted uncomfortably under his father's gaze. "I got into an accident with Jasper's bike. Guess I pretty much destroyed it, really. When I told him about it he sorta went off and I ended up acting like a jackass and stirred him up more.

I'm not entirely sure what happened but he just kinda went weird and after that it really is all more or less a blur until he wrenched my shoulder and bit mom, but you see, if I hadn't been careless and pretty damn thoughtless none of this would have happened."

Emmett dropped his head ever so slightly as he looked down at his hands.

"I... I just don't want Jazz getting punished for something that I caused. He has been through enough and that just seems so wrong."

His father stepped back up to him and placed a hand on his son's shoulder as he gave a slightly exasperated sigh.

"Thank you for telling me this, Em. I appreciate you all looking out for each other and I am proud of you for wanting to take responsibility for your actions, but Jasper is not in trouble for the fight." Carlisle stopped and considered his words for a minute before adding, "Though you both probably should be punished since you do know better, I'm going to let it go this time.

Jasper's trouble comes from attacking his mother. Regardless of provocation, that is something that I can not allow to happen. Your mother is too good to all of you for me to ignore the level of disrespect it takes for one of you to put her in danger. I feel safe in saying that Jasper already knows this and he is already feeling the regret that this sort of violation dregs up."

Emmett nodded at his father's explanation. He still didn't like the idea of Jasper taking the fall for him but he could see Carlisle's point.

"Pops, is momma alright? I mean she looked okay and she still packs a mean punch but with the bite and the venom and all."

He wasn't sure what he said but his father's sudden groan caught him completely off guard. "Are you okay, Pops? I didn't mean to upset you."

Carlisle's rubbed his eyes in frustration as a thought seized his mind. _Esme. Oh dear, Lord, Esme._

He looked back at his son's worried eyes and shook his head to try to let Emmett know that he wasn't the cause of his distress. "You didn't upset me, son. Coming home to find the house in turmoil caused something very important to slip my mind. Will you please excuse me just a second?"

Without waiting for his son's response, Carlisle swiftly made his way to the study door and down the hall to the top of the stairs. "Esme Anne, may I please see you in my office?" He kept his voice soft but he knew that his request would be heard.

"I'll be right up, Carlisle. I just need to clear up a couple more things."

"Right now if you please, young lady."

He heard her give a snort of bemusement. "Yes, love. Of course."

Satisfied he returned to his study to finish up with his son and leave himself a little time to attend to his wife before he would need to face the task of talking with Jasper.

* * *

Jasper raised a brow and looked at Alice who simply returned the expression with a shrug. Both were amused by Carlisle's tone with Esme but neither said a word. Rose, however could not let the opportunity pass her by.

"So what did you do to get into trouble, mother dear? Maybe daddy didn't appreciate getting his butt smacked, huh?" Rose gave her mother a mocking grin as she ran the vacuum over the rugs in the mini war zone.

Esme smiled at her daughter. "There is no reason for me to be in trouble, Rose. I'm sure your father just needs to ask me something. Probably wants to know what I plan to do about you and your atrocious attitude this evening."

Rosalie bit back a retort before bringing her focus back to her cleaning.

The living room restored, with the exception of the hole in the wall that would need to be patched in the morning, Esme let out a soft sigh. She really had no idea what Carlisle needed but she wanted to get it out of the way before sending Jasper upstairs. She knew Carlisle and Jasper would need a good deal of time so any other matters requiring her husband's attention needed to be taken care of before hand so he and his son wouldn't end up being disturbed.

"Jasper, I'll call you as soon as your father and I have discussed whatever it is that he seems to need to talk about."

The boy gave her a silent nod as he took a seat on the couch only to have his mate curl up next to him. Esme felt a wave of calm crash over her and knew that this time her son was trying desperately to calm himself as the prospect of his father's lecture was brought too close for comfort.

"Jasper, you will be fine."

"I'm… momma words just can't fix what I've done. Sorry don't cut it this time. I don't have the foggiest idea of what I can do to make it right with either of ya. Heck, I shouldn't even still be here after what's been done."

Alice held her mate close trying to comfort him with her love but his misery was too great for her to reach him. Instead he stiffened in her embrace in an attempt to block the contentment he always found through her. He was suffering, he deserved to suffer and he would see to it that he did regardless of the actions of his family.

Esme ran her hand through his hair then gently kissed the crown of his head.

"My brave little solider boy who is always so ready to shoulder responsibility for everything that is wrong in this world." She sighed. "Jasper, you couldn't help what happened. It was an odd occurrence that I don't foresee becoming some sort of habit with you." She crouched down in front of him so they were eye level and took his hand in hers as she calmly spoke.

"Actions may speak louder than words, my dear heart, but your words **can** fix what has been done. Explain to your father what happen, to the best of your ability, and he will understand. Don't discount the strength of his love for you. He wants to forgive you, baby, but you have to be the one to let him do so. If I could do it for you, rest assured that I would."

"See, Jazzy. Didn't I tell you that?" Alice brushed a lock of hair out of his face as she continually tried to soothe him but his rigidity did not abate.

Esme let go of her son's hand as she stood back up giving Alice a sympathetic look.

"Don't worry, honey. Jazz will settle down after he and Carlisle work things out. I believe it comes down to being a man thing. It's the same phenomenon that makes them stubborn." She smiled at her children then turned her attention to her blonde daughter who had been leaning quietly against the banister.

"Rosalie, go ahead and check on Emmett. Maybe if you see that he's okay your mood will improve. We'll still talk but a little down time will probably make it easier. I need to have a chat with Edward as well."

Without looking up at her mother or acknowledging her in any way, Rosalie turned and headed up the stairs.

"She is really just upset with Emmett, momma. She'll calm down soon. She can't stay angry at Em for very long; none of us can," Alice offered as she noted her mother's carefully controlled frustration. "She will listen to you when the time comes."

"Thanks, sweetie. That's good to hear because I never really know when it comes to Rose."

With a nod of thanks, Esme turned and quickly ascended the stairs to find out what her lover wanted, anxious for this evening to finally be over.

As she approached the study, Esme was surprised to find the door open. She knocked softly on the door frame as she leaned against it waiting to be invited in.

"Doctor Cullen, you wished to see me?"

"You took your time, little miss. I see our ideas of 'now' are rather different." Carlisle cocked a brow as he looked up from the article he was reading. "Come in, close the door and take a seat." He indicated the chair across from his desk with a slight tilt of his head.

Esme complied and settled into the leather arm chair with a graceful motion, an amused smile toying with her lips.

"Am I in trouble, doctor?"

"Yes, young lady, I would have to say that you are." Carlisle stood and walked around to the front of the desk leaning a hip against its edge as he crossed his arms. "Out in the woods, what did I tell you would be the first order of business when we returned to the house?"

Esme wore a serious expression as she thought back for a moment then realization lit up her face.

"Ah. Well, Doctor Cullen, we both ended up being rather distracted. I claim maternal instincts as my defense. I had to make sure that my children were safe and cared for first."

"Hm, since I was just as much at fault in the matter I think we can let this go with a stern warning this one time but promise me that you will follow the doctor's orders from here on out."

"And if I don't?" She folded her arms mimicking his stance.

"Well young lady, if you go against doctor's orders again then there must be consequences."

Esme raised an eyebrow at his words.

"Consequences? And what sort of consequences are we talking about here, Doctor Cullen?"

"That depends on the severity of the offense just as it does for other disobedient youngsters in this house. I'm sure that I can come up with some clever methods for correcting your behavior. And we are addressing the first rule of our coven, miss. You remember the one where no one is allowed to put themselves into unnecessary danger."

Esme was well aware that Carlisle would never lay a hand on her given her past and his personality but there was something in his quiet tone that caused a shiver to race up her spine.

"Let's hope it never comes to that then."

"Behave yourself and it never will." He smiled and gave her a wink before leaning over to kiss her cheek. "Now let's have a look at those bite wounds."

* * *

**AN:** Alright, guys. I ended up waking up around 3:30am because Carlisle decided this was the way to go and kept messing around in my head until I did something about it. Writing basically in my sleep is not the best thing so MANY Thanks to Splinter for the proofing. Y'all have no idea what you would have been trying to decipher if it wasn't for her help.

Just a bit of a bridge so **now** I am ready to tackle Jasper.

Thank y'all for everything. You guys do keep me on my toes and I love it. *hugs to all*


	11. Repentance

Carlisle sat at his desk staring out the wall length window that overlooked the moonlit forest where just hours before he had sought refuge like a feral thing. The forest was where the rogue beast was king but the coven leader was never more comfortable than when he was here in this house in which his family created a home. He couldn't think of a more perfect place in the world than in the company of his family. Knowing this to be true, Carlisle found irritation in the dread he was experiencing as he awaited his son's arrival.

He leaned back in his chair with his hands clasped behind his head and closed his eyes. The image of Jasper's terror-stricken eyes interrupted the soothing darkness, feeding his apprehension. Carlisle groaned softly as his conscience continued to berate him by bringing forth another image, one of Jasper glaring at him with venom seeping from his damaged lip. It was a vile creature that could strike its child in the face; strike out at its child in anger.

"No atonement exists for such an act," he whispered to himself as he liberated his hands, allowing one to rest in his lap while the other rubbed at his eyes in frustration. "No hope for redemption."

"I know, papa." The answering voice was heavy with grief but steady in conviction. "I don't expect clemency for what I have done to momma. I don't deserve mercy nor do I seek it. All I can hope for is that over time I can find a way to regain some of the trust that I managed to so carelessly squander."

Carlisle looked up to find Jasper standing in the doorway, hands clutched behind his back and eyes trained on the floor.

"Come in and have a seat, son. We need to talk and it would seem that there is a lot of ground for us to cover."

Jasper gave a short nod and quickly closed the door behind him before taking a seat across the desk from his father. He sat on the edge of the chair, his body rigid, hands folded in his lap, as he forced himself to make eye contact with the man he had wronged.

"Sir, may I speak first?"

"Of course, son." Carlisle leaned slightly forward with his elbows on the desk, hands intertwined supporting his chin as he gave his son his full attention.

Jasper took a breath then slowly exhaled as he gathered his thoughts. "Carlisle, I know that my actions are unforgivable. Attacking another's mate is a grievous crime but when that mate belongs to the leader of your coven…. I can not make excuses for such behavior as no excuse exist that can mitigate such an offense. I know that the only reason that I am still alive is because of your benevolence of which I am entirely unworthy."

Carlisle listened to his son's apology while studying the boy carefully. As eloquent as his words were, his father could still see the frightened youth behind the soldier's façade.

"Jasper, answer one question for me, please. Why did you attack Esme?"

The boy broke eye contact instantly and his shoulders slumped ever so slightly. Carlisle's heart went out to his son as he couldn't fail to notice the remorse projected through his body language. Jasper closed his eyes and swallowed hard before he managed to find the courage to speak again.

"I don't know what happened." His hand ran through his hair as he struggled to find the least damning explanation; some explanation that wouldn't leave his father viewing him as a constant threat to his coven. "Emmett made me angry, something I should have never allowed to happen. Usually I am much better at controlling my temper but for some reason this afternoon I had a much more difficult time with it. Some words that should have never been said were exchanged and I lost control."

"Who threw the first punch?"

Jasper opened his eyes to look up at his father. "I did."

Carlisle cocked his head to the side as he recalled Emmett's confession. "Those must have been some strong words to lead to an assault."

"As I said, I normally wouldn't have behaved like that. I… I really don't know what got into me." He shifted his gaze to his hands as he sighed. "I knew better than to fight my brother but I just couldn't stop myself."

Carlisle gave Jasper a sympathetic look. "Emmett can have that effect. Sometimes he takes his teasing too far which can cause things to get out of hand. I may have to talk to him about that."

Jasper looked up at Carlisle, his eyes wide and oddly full of regret. "That shouldn't be necessary. Please don't think that it was Emmett's fault in any way. I was the one who lost control. Emmett was much more of a victim."

"A victim who brought it upon himself going by what I can piece together. Jasper, you should know that I was already made aware of the fight. Emmett told me that he was the catalyst because he did some damage to your bike." Jasper looked away as he fidgeted while Carlisle recounted the events as he knew them. "I can only imagine the extent of said damage if it caused you to lose your temper. I would also like you to know that your brother claimed the blame for what happened."

"That's just ridiculous."

"Is it any more ridiculous then you trying to do the same?" Carlisle cocked an eyebrow as he paused to give his words time to penetrate his son's head. "The truth is generally somewhere in the middle, though I have to say that you two boys are unique. Most would try to push the blame off on each other instead of trying to foster it onto themselves.

I am going to tell you the same that I told Emmett. You both do deserve to be punished for fighting but I'm going to let that go this time. I have faith that both of you have learned from this mistake and will see to it that it doesn't happen again."

"Can't make that promise, sir, but I'll do my best to not let it happen."

Carlisle smiled slightly at Jasper's honesty. "Good enough, son. Now, how does this figure into the eventual attack on your mother?"

Jasper covered his face with his hands as he groaned softly then answered, "She wasn't momma."

"I beg your pardon."

The boy slowly dropped his hands back into his lap as he looked into his father's amber eyes before drawing a breath. "She wasn't Esme when I attacked her."

Confusion etched Carlisle's face as he waited patiently for an explanation to his son's strange statement.

Jasper swallowed back the venom rising in his throat before he was able to speak again. "When I attacked Emmett, he was no longer Emmett. He was no longer my brother. I saw him as a rival to be defeated and nothing more. I… my mind was somewhere else; another time to be specific. I was back with Maria's army and I didn't realize the truth until you had me pinned to the ground." He quickly glanced away. "By that time, it was too late."

Several long moments passed in silence before Carlisle spoke. "So she was just another new born in your eyes?"

"Not exactly, sir." Jasper spun his wedding band nervously as he suddenly wished to be anywhere but in his father's study explaining his actions. His father's expectant gaze caused him to continue. "I thought she was Maria. I had failed her and thought that she was going to have me killed."

Carlisle got up from his chair, walked towards the window and looked out at the twinkling stars as his mind wandered. "So, in your mind, you were preemptively defending yourself." He released a held breath as he continued to stare out into the darkness.

"Yes, sir, but that still does not justify my actions."

"Perhaps not but it does explain them." He turned back towards his son with sadness in his eyes. "Jasper, if you weren't aware of what you were doing you can hardly be held accountable for your actions. It would appear that something your brother did or said caused you to have a psychotic break."

He walked over towards Jasper and leaned on the edge of his desk. "Seeing that you are completely functional and in control now, I can only think that this was a brief psychosis brought on by a stress response. It is something that bears noting and watching for, but I don't feel that it is any major threat."

"NO!" Jasper snapped as he slammed his fist against the desk top sending a crack the width of the antique mahogany. "No, you can't just turn your back on me."

"Calm down, son. I'm not turning my back on you. I want to help you. Tomorrow I'll talk to some of my colleagues to get their opinions. For now though, I think it would be best for you to go to your room and take things easy. It's been a trying day for us all."

Jasper was on his feet, a low growl building in his chest.

"Carlisle, do you not understand that I attacked Esme? I nearly killed your mate. You are just going to pretend that didn't happen or that it is some sort of misdemeanor that can be just swept under the carpet. Well it's not! I have committed a crime akin to treason. I betrayed my coven and flaunted its rules. I nearly committed matricide. Do you think that simply because there is a reason for my crime that I shouldn't be punished or is it that you want to torture me by forcing me to deal with the memory on a daily basis? This permissive laissez faire style of control over your coven is a weakness, Carlisle. I have never thought of you as weak but maybe I need to reconsider my stance.

I want you to be more than a coven leader. I want you to be a father to me. I need you to be a father to me, Carlisle but that requires you to be authoritative. I respect you, more than any other man I have ever had in my life, but if you can't control your coven then I can't be sure Alice and I are safe within it."

Carlisle's eyes darkened as Jasper's words stung him. How dare the boy question his leadership abilities? How dare he question his commitment to their welfare? His son's sudden disrespect set Carlisle's teeth on edge as he snarled, "**Sit down, Jasper!**"

"No! Apparently you have no right to control me so why should I listen to you?"

Carlisle growled in warning then shoved Jasper back into the chair. Leaning over he boxed the boy in by placing his hands on the armrest and spoke in a soft yet dangerous voice as he glared into his eyes.

"You **will** obey me, son. I am still your coven leader and I will have the respect that is due. You, young man, are gravely mistaken. Your word choice is off. Apparently what you want is an authoritarian leader and you are correct in thinking that is not my style, however if you require it I can deliver. If you really want me to be restrictive and punitive without ever explaining why I desire a certain response from you or not allow you to voice your opinions, so be it. I would rather continue to forgive and teach instead of simply rely on punishment. That **is** authoritative, Jasper. But if you want me to tell you what to do and then knock you back in line when you make a mistake, I'm willing to try since above all else I want you to be contented."

Feeling his control slipping and the beast stir, Carlisle abruptly released the chair and turned away from his son, shutting his eyes tight.

"Carlisle?"

"Jasper, don't say a word; not one word." He forced his lungs to take in deep slow breaths as he fought to calm himself. "I already owe you one apology this evening; I would prefer to not be required to offer a second."

Jasper sat silently watching Carlisle wage war with his inner beast. _Just might have pushed him a little too far this time._ Hadn't his temper gotten him into enough trouble for one day? Here he had been telling Carlisle that he should have exhibited better control with Emmett and he let it slip again with his coven leader. Jasper quietly sighed. _Didn't ya momma learn ya better, son? _A sad smile formed on his lips as his mind rambled. _Well, it's lookin' like your pa is gonna be fixin' to learn ya this time._ _You been askin' for an ass whoopin' and now you gotta _helluva _one comin'._

"Jasper."

The quiet voice cutting into Jasper's thoughts caused the young man to jerk so suddenly in his chair that he nearly tipped it over.

"Yesh, suh?"

Carlisle exhaled as he turned to face his son. His eyes were still dark giving Jasper a clear warning as to his state of agitation.

"I need you to go to your room right now. Your nervous energy isn't allowing me to calm down enough, son. I'm going to need some time alone." Carlisle folded his arms as his head drooped and eyes closed trying to block out his son's projected emotional onslaught. A muscle in his jaw twitched under the strain to remain calm. He listened for several minutes before continuing. "Alice is there now. Please ask her to leave for the time being. I'm sure Esme will welcome her help with something. If she is there when I am ready to deal with your insolence she will find herself in trouble as well. Don't allow her to be put into that situation."

"Nah, suh. Mah Alice won't be a hangin' 'round. Ah'll see ta that."

Carlisle nodded once sending Jasper on his way.

Once his son was out of the room, the patriarch slumped down on his chair placing his head in his hands. Why couldn't he get a little reprieve today? The knowledge that there had been a reason for his son's behavior had come as something of a blessing. It had relieved him of the need to fulfill a disciplinary action that he had not wanted nor felt comfortable executing after all they had been through this evening but Jasper's outburst now forced his hand.

Hearing the boy's speech impediment begin to show through told him that Jasper's nerves were starting to get the better of him. Why hadn't that happened sooner when all of this might have well been avoided?

Running a hand through his hair, Carlisle sighed as he was forced to accept that this was an unavoidable circumstance. Jasper's guilt would have found a way to provoke him. The boy needed to repent for his sin and his father was the confessor to whom he looked to for absolution.

"Why must you be so stubborn, son? Why can't you allow yourself to just be forgiven?"

"Like father, like son." Esme walked over to Carlisle and gently caressed his cheek. "I'm going to take Alice with me to the hardware store. Hopefully we can get some dry wall patches and mud to fix up the hole left by Rose's little tantrum. I figure that will give you the time that you need with Jasper. Alice really shouldn't have to be here for this and it will give me a little time to think about how I want to handle Rosalie."

"Do you want me to address Edward?"

"No my love, you have enough on your plate. Edward and Rose shouldn't give me much trouble. If not for Rose's attitude, the offenses aren't terrible so resolution will be fairly painless." She ran her hand through his hair feeling him relax at her touch then bent down to kiss him gently. "You both will come through this fine in the end. You'll see."

"I do hope so, sweetheart. Really I do."

* * *

**AN:** ... Carlisle was being a pain in my behind so I had to turn Jasper loose. Hope that ends up helping relieve a little bit of the concern about Carlisle punishing Jasper unfairly. Carlisle really was not keen on going through with this which is why I believe he was giving me problems but now it's all good and should be smooth sailing from here on out.

I am going to owe Carlisle a new desk by the time I'm done with these two stories. LOL.

Thanks so much for the continuing support, guys. Y'all are as wonderful as ever. Thanks to Splinter for continuing to try to make my mistakes less apparent. *hugs*


	12. Absolution

Jasper sat on the edge of his bed watching the door intently. He was grateful that Esme had found an occupation for Alice since she had given him a much more difficult time when asked to leave than he had thought she would. She had been extremely upset and her resistance could only mean one thing; a vision, and a bad one at that.

He fell back on the bed taking comfort in the scent of his sweet wife that lingered on the bedding. That trace of her presence would have to give him strength to see this through. Reaching over, he grabbed her pillow and pulled it against his chest, burying his face against the silky fabric. With her essence enveloping him, Jasper's mind recounted his various transgressions of the day. He had lost his temper with Emmett and Rose, struck his ever gentle Alice, fought off Edward, nearly killed Esme and now sunk to a level of disrespect towards Carlisle that he would have never imagined reaching. He had managed to endanger and offend every member of his coven; of his family.

He groaned into the downy softness while revisiting his malfeasance. Any one of these earlier acts would easily have gotten him maimed or killed as punishment within other covens yet, even with all of them combined, Carlisle had offered his forgiveness. Such charity was unheard of among their kind and even after all these years Jasper still found great difficulty in accepting it. This flaw in his ability to accept his leader's gracious offer was the cause of his unwarranted insubordination for which he now awaited castigation.

_How could you do that to him? In truth how could you do that to any of them? Alice was right. You do deserve a much worse whoopin' then Carlisle will ever lay on your hide and that has more to do with stubborn pride than your actions alone._

A light rap on the door drew his attention, causing his nervousness to peak. Nervousness. It hadn't occurred to Jasper before but that was what he was feeling. Surprisingly, there was no fear as there had been in Maria's coven, just nervousness at having to atone for his misbehavior. A swift mental inventory of other times that Carlisle had taken him in hand for various indiscretions all had been faced with the same nervous worry but never fear. He should fear Carlisle. As his coven leader he held sway over Jasper's life and death yet the boy could not find a reason to fear him.

_This is more__,__ much more__,__ than a coven, Jasper Whitlock but you have been too blind to really see it. You have called him father but have you ever truly believed it? These people are your family. You don't treat family like this, ever. _

Shame overtook the wheaten haired youth as he placed the pillow down and hauled himself to his feet. The rapping on the door came again a little bit firmer. Jasper crossed the room swiftly and opened the door for his father.

"Papa, please come in." Jasper motioned for Carlisle to enter but kept his eyes downcast as the shame of his deeds threatened to overwhelm him.

Carlisle studied his son for several moments before stepping passed him. There was something different about the way he was carrying himself, an odd change in attitude that made him slightly uneasy.

"Thank you, Jasper. Would you please take a seat?"

While Jasper reclaimed his spot on the side of the bed, Carlisle pulled the desk chair over and spun it around. Straddling it, he leaned his folded arms against the backrest as he scrutinized his son further. The boy's nervous energy had thankfully diminished to leave only a tingling to affect his father but in its place there was a deep sadness that buffeted Carlisle's emotions.

"Jasper, please look at me."

"I'm sorry, sir. At this time I am afraid I can't do that."

"I can make it an order and then you would have to comply. I would be appreciative if we didn't have to take that route so I will simply ask again, Jasper look at me. Let me see your eyes."

Jasper turned his head slightly to the side as he smirked bitterly. "Eyes are the windows to the soul but what can they reflect in a soulless creature?"

"Taking lessons from Edward, I see." Carlisle reached out and placed a knuckle beneath Jasper's chin to tilt his head up then gently caught his chin and turned the boy to face him. He heaved a sigh at the melancholy that clouded the fathomless depths of his son's onyx eyes. "That isn't just regret, Jasper. Are you worried that you're going to be ostracized, because I can lay that fear to rest right now."

Jasper pulled away from Carlisle and shook his head as he averted his eyes.

"No, sir. If I was anywhere else that might be a concern though I more than likely would have already run for fear of my life so banishment would be the least of my worries. I'm just…," he bit his bottom lip as he shook his head again. "I don't know what to do or say. Today should have never occurred and I'm at fault."

Carlisle sat up and tilted his head to the side in thought as he watched the boy suffering before him. "Jasper, you were not the only one to lose control this evening. The majority of our family would be found guilty of that particular folly today but the worst offender would be me."

The younger man met his father's eyes and began to speak but Carlisle didn't give him the chance.

"I said that I owed you an apology, son and that is still true. My teeth should have never touched your throat. I will not apologize for protecting Esme but I could have handled the situation much better. I don't want you to ever fear me, Jasper and I will never put you in a situation like that again."

Jasper looked down as he listened to his father, and then shook his head in response. "You don't owe me anything, Carlisle." The boy took a deep breath before reclaiming the courage to look into his father's eyes. "If it hadn't been for me there would have never been a reason for you to lose control. I accept your apology but you need to know that it is not necessary. Papa, there is no reason for you to regret anything you've done. I am the guilty one in all of this mess not you. The only thing that you owe me is the tanning of my life and I would like to get that out of the way if you don't mind, sir."

"Cut to the chase much, son?"

"Figured we already got all the talkin' done, papa; maybe a mite too much talkin' on my part. I'm not asking for leniency, don't feel either one of us thinks that I deserve it at this point so might as well get to it."

Carlisle sighed as he rubbed his forehead then nodded. "Jasper, you do understand what you're being punished for, correct?"

"My unruly behavior that endangered my family and insulted you, sir."

"Your unruly behavior was not entirely your fault, we have already established that. You and I will monitor your frame of mind from here on out. The moment that you feel you may be losing your grip on your temper, I want you to come see either Esme or me. I would prefer that we talk about it and defuse the problem so that there are no worries about a repeat of earlier events. I am inclined to believe that this is a onetime occurrence but it is better to be safe than sorry."

"I deserve to be punished. What if you hadn't been there to stop me?"

Carlisle rubbed his eyes as the first twinge of frustration began to return.

"Jasper, punishment will not stop a behavior that you have no conscious control over so it's pointless. Should you have monitored your behavior more closely? Yes. When you felt yourself getting enraged at Emmett, should you have walked away? Yes. Those are technically things that I could reprimand you for but I've already stated that I'm not going to punish either you or your brother for the fight. It's over and you both learned a lesson from it. If you really feel that I need to reinforce that lesson I will, but know this, you will then be condemning Emmett to the same fate. Is that really what you want to do?"

"That's not fair, papa."

"Explain to me how it's not fair."

"Em didn't attack momma."

"And neither did you, at least not knowingly. You attacked 'Maria.' That is who your mind saw and I will not hold you responsible for that." Carlisle stood and replaced the chair as he tried to redirect the irritation that this conversation was causing him into some form of motion. "So what is it to be, Jasper? Do you accept my reasoning or do you wish me to call on Emmett when I leave your room?"

"You're not really giving me much of a choice," Jasper responded in a bitter tone. "I have to accept your reasons because I won't put Emmett's butt on the line because of my stupidity."

Carlisle's eyes narrowed as he stared at his son then he slapped his hand down on the boy's computer desk in annoyance.

"**That** is what you're being punished for. I don't know what has gotten into you, boy. I truly do not, but this impertinence ends here and now." Carlisle's voice came out in a low growl and his nearly endless patience was stretched to its breaking point yet again.

A barely audible "Damn" reached his ears causing the patriarch to inhale deeply in an attempt to calm himself.

"Edward, mind your word choice and your manners. This conversation does not concern you so, in your place I would remove myself from it; that goes for everyone." The sounds of quiet shuffling could be heard then the house was plunged into a still silence.

Carlisle ran a hand through his hair as he leaned against the door frame while he considered his next choice of action. "Jasper, get up."

As his son stood, Carlisle walked over and took a seat on the boy's bed.

"I have had enough, son. You have continually pushed me this evening so now I am obliged to give you what you have been asking for so vehemently." His voice had returned to its normal quiet calm but there was an underlining tension in his tone. "You will not be needing your jeans for this so, if you please."

Jasper shucked his jeans and was laying them over the foot of the bed when Carlisle made a request that stunned him.

"Please give me your belt, son."

At the boy's wide eyed expression, Carlisle sighed softly and held out his hand. All too soon for Jasper's taste, the formidable implement was carefully placed in his father's clutch causing the youth to shudder. He knew that he had brought it on himself but this was a twist that he had never even allowed himself to consider. Swallowing hard he shifted his focus from the leather strap to his father's eyes. There was sadness there along with disappointment and concern, but a powerful determination had hardened Carlisle's gaze.

Laying the belt down beside him on the bed, Carlisle grabbed a pillow and placed it upon his left thigh before reaching out to grasp Jasper's wrist firmly.

"Looks like you are planning on us being here awhile." Jasper tried to keep his voice steady but heard it waver slightly as he allowed himself to be pulled down over his father's knee.

"Well, Jasper that will all depend on you but given the attitude that you have displayed lately I think it's a fair assumption."

The boy pulled his mate's pillow towards him and buried his face in it as he tried to find a way to relax given the position he was in, but when Carlisle moved to lock his leg over his son's Jasper kicked himself free angrily.

"You don't need to lock me down like some child."

A sudden swat to the back of his thigh caused Jasper to hiss through gritted teeth.

"It would appear that I do. Son, I have told you before that I will treat you like an adult as long as you are willing to act like one. Today's behavior has not been a high point on your maturity scale and that little stunt shot you down even lower. Now be still." Another stinging blow landed on the opposite thigh eliciting a quiet gasp from the young blonde. "I am doing this because I don't want you to accidentally slip and fall."

Jasper fell silent at his father's reprimand. Carlisle was right. He had been acting childishly and he knew it but seemed unable to control his rashness. He chewed on his bottom lip and hugged Alice's pillow tightly while his father wrapped his arm around the boy's waist to pull him close to his body. Jasper made up his mind to submit to his punishment but faulted in his conviction as he felt his boxers pulled down to his knees.

"Oh, come on, papa. Please. You can't take a belt to my bare ass. You just can't do it."

"Don't presume to be able to tell me what I can and can't do, young man. Unless I am mistaken that is what has landed you here in the first place."

Carlisle's palm came down in a flurry of firm strong strokes that kindled a burning sting across Jasper's backside. His son tried to maintain some level of stoicism but it wasn't long before his father's perfected method of punishment drew soft grunts and groans from the boy. As the burning increased, he couldn't help trying to wiggle away but Carlisle's iron grip held him firm.

"Do I have your attention now, Jasper?"

His son nodded his head rapidly as a glaze of venom coated his eyes. Carlisle slowed his onslaught but kept the intensity of his strokes.

"Verbal responses please, son."

Jasper drew a breath as he closed his eyes to impede the tears that threatened to fall. He still continued to nod but managed a soft, "yes, sir" in answer to his father's question.

"What is the cause of this attitude that you are struggling with?"

"I… I… don't know."

Carlisle's dissatisfaction with Jasper's answer was quickly felt against the tender flesh where cheek meets thigh. The boy yowled in pain causing his father to grimace but not relent.

"You do know. Now think about it and give me an answer because I'm not going to stop until you do."

Tears finally breached his defenses and began to soak into Alice's pillow as Jasper battled the bedlam of emotions welling up inside. How could he be expected to sort this all out and come up with a coherent response to his father's question? He didn't know why he lashed out. He didn't know where the anger came from or why it turned into disrespect towards his father. He didn't know what Carlisle wanted to hear.

It wasn't until his cries turned to softer sobs and his breathing became less labored that Jasper realized his father's hand was resting lightly on his back rubbing him gently. The boy tried to push his way up but the heel of Carlisle's hand applied pressure between his shoulders effectively holding him in place.

"We aren't done, son. I'm just giving you a little breather. Your emotions are all over the place which isn't serving either of us very well. For now just calm down and use the time to try to come up with an answer to my question."

"I don't know, Carlisle. You can whip me the rest of the night and I'm still not going to know." His voice sounded like a weak whine which furthered his annoyance with himself.

He heard his father draw a breath and hold it before very slowly exhaling.

"Alright, Jasper let's see if we can find the answer together. What are you being punished for?"

Jasper swallowed back venom as he hid his face against the pillow before quietly muttering, "Because of my crappy attitude. I was…," he gave a short mirthless laugh, "I **am** being sullen, difficult and disrespectful."

"Okay, that's good. That's progress. We have identified the problem. Now we have to figure out the cause. When did this attitude first occur?"

"When I attacked, Emmett."

"No. That is an unrelated event. Take a few minutes to think about it and then try again."

Carlisle loosened his hold around his son's waist allowing the boy to shift into a marginally more comfortable position.

"When I yelled at you in the study." His admission tinged his tone with deep regret.

"Correct. Now, why did you yell at me?"

Jasper shook his head and remained silent. A firm swat caused him to yelp and find the courage to use his voice.

"Because I felt that you were turning your back on me. I felt… It was a stupid reason."

"Jasper, I can't help you if you don't confide in me. If something is bothering you to the extent that it changes your personality, it isn't stupid or something to take lightly."

After many minutes of silence between father and son, Jasper covered his head with the pillow and muttered into the fabric knowing that Carlisle's keen hearing would still be able to make out his words.

"I felt like I wasn't worth your time. I wasn't important enough for you to bother with my disobedience. I couldn't find it in myself to handle my guilt and it seemed that I wasn't important enough for you to help me with it. I was angry and thought if I provoked you at least I would get what I needed. I didn't want leniency and that was all that you were willing to give me."

Carlisle pinched the bridge of his nose as he processed this new information. "Son, not every offense needs to end up where we are right now, nor should it. I understand that you are dealing with guilt. Frankly, I am too. Physical punishment can be cathartic which is the main reason that I employ it, but there are other methods. Talk about what you are feeling instead of lashing out in an attempt to anger me into action. We can find other ways for you to make amends with your mother that can relieve you of your guilt."

"Momma forgave me just as easily as you did. This was my only viable option. It's quick and clean and over."

"Maybe that wasn't what you needed."

Jasper pulled the pillow away and looked back over his shoulder at his father. "What do you mean?"

"Maybe you needed to feel that guilt a bit longer so you could learn from it. Guilt teaches, Jasper. Without any help from me, it shows you what you did wrong and makes you want to avoid that action in the future. As long as you don't let it consume you, it's a wonderful teacher and generally will resolve itself in time as you strive towards better behavior."

The younger man laid his head back down on the bed with a sigh. "So by forcing you to punish me I am running away instead of facing my problem."

"In a way, yes."

He snorted in dismay. "Great. And to think I called you weak."

"You're not weak, son; not by a long shot. You panicked and relied on the most familiar coping skill that you had available. That tends to happen but next time instead of being disrespectful to get what you think you want, let's try to talk about it. If you try another method and still find yourself struggling with your guilt we can always return to taking you in hand, just not for every transgression."

Jasper nodded in agreement. "Can I get up now?"

Carlisle cocked his head in confusion. "I had already told you that we were not yet done."

"But I thought you said…"

"I said that you need to give other methods for dealing with guilt a try, though I have to think that the sore behind you're nursing right now at least took the edge off of your guilt."

"Yes, sir."

"Good, but that wasn't the reason you were being punished, now was it?" Jasper groaned but Carlisle simply continued, "I was just trying to get your attention and to motivate you to answer my questions; making you think. Your abhorrent behavior has not been addressed. You weren't very penitent just a little while ago when you already knew that you were going to be punished so I don't feel that was running off of the same reasoning."

"No sir, I was… becoming more pissed off at myself and I took it out on you."

"If you knew that relief was at hand why were you still getting angry at your actions?"

"It was different."

"Jasper, what did I just say about talking to me. Don't start being evasive already."

Jasper sighed as he quietly berated himself. He didn't want to be in a position to admit his shortsightedness but Carlisle wasn't really giving him another choice.

"I realized how stupid I have been. Here you are, everyone really, trying so hard to accept me as family while I still saw this as a coven. I couldn't accept that you would forgo punishing me out of love because that could never happen in a coven. I was confused but then some light bulb went on and I realized just how much all of you care about my worthless butt and it made me feel bad. I was ashamed of my actions and I vented that inappropriately."

Carlisle cringed at the word shame but let it go for now. "You're not stupid, Jasper. You just haven't had the same experiences as the rest of us. If we were suddenly thrown into a traditional coven, I'm sure we would fare much worse at adjusting to that than you do here."

"I suppose you have a point."

"I usually do, it's just that not everyone pays attention."

"You have my full attention right now."

Carlisle was unable to suppress a laugh at Jasper's comment. "I'm sure I do, son so what say we finish addressing your behavior."

His son blew out a sigh. "If we must, but I think you've done an excellent job of expressing your displeasure with my attitude."

"Then we shouldn't find ourselves having to revisit this topic again in the future." Carlisle shifted Jasper forward to better expose the weight bearing edge of his son's rear end while tightening his hold once again around the lad's waist. "Jasper, what did you do that warranted this?"

"Lost my fool mind and disrespected my coven lead… I disrespected my father, sir."

Though the timing was strange, a smile lit up Carlisle's face. For years Jasper had called him papa because the boy knew that it made him happy but this was the first time that he could remember Jasper forsaking the coven leader title in favor of referring to him as father. That one small word was spoken with a love that Carlisle could feel. Maybe Esme was right after all because would Jasper really be able feel that way towards him if he feared being abused by him? Carlisle had loved his father but there had been a blood tie. Jasper was under so such obligation yet wanted to call him father. He allowed himself a few more moments reprieve with those happier thoughts before returning his attention to his fatherly duty.

"That's correct, son. I hate to have to do this but I can't abide disrespect."

"I know and I'm sorry, papa." Jasper's face disappeared in the pillow's comforting embrace as Carlisle reclaimed the discarded belt.

* * *

**AN:** Alrighty, folks I am going to ask y'all to use your imagination here. This is not a cliffhanger. I'm going to be picking the story back up shortly after Carlisle has departed Jasper's room. I'm taking the less is more route, even though this has been my longest chapter thus far.

Thanks to everyone for suggestions, reviews, favorites and all your various kind support. Thanks again to Splinter for all of her help in proofing my messes and making this easier to read.

This does not end the story. There is still a bit more to go on this journey. Esme's pasts has still yet to come into play so stick around. We're gettin' there.


	13. Healing Touch

Carlisle sat with his back cradled in the corner of the sofa while a book laid splayed open upside down over his knee as the news displayed on the flat screen droned on providing background noise for his wandering mind. He had regretted using the belt on his son from the very first stroke. Jasper had done his best to tough it out, but that unfeeling strap of leather broke the boy's will as if that was its main purpose for existing.

"My Lord, help my son and I through this. Was I too hard on the boy? Did I cross that line again where rationality fades and anger is all that fuels my action?" Carlisle cringed as his mind recreated the heart wrenching sounds of the belt snapping savagely against Jasper's flesh causing the boy to cry out against the pain. "I know that disciplining my son is my duty, but was this too much for him to bear? I ask for his respect; now I worry that it is his fear which I have earned."

Jasper's recent meal still circulating through his system had caused a slight blush to form after each stroke. While it dissipated within seconds, the pink coloration had caused Carlisle's anxiety to peak at a much higher level. Memories surfaced of dark red stripes that morphed into the black purple of deep heavy bruising; war wounds to be carefully hidden from prying eyes least his misdeeds become public knowledge to further his humiliation. In his mind's eye Carlisle had seen himself in Jasper's place fighting to stoically take his punishment like a man, only to fail time and time again proving his father right; he was weak, soft and useless. Knowing that God was strength, the Vicar could only deduce that his son was possessed by some demon that facilitated this weakness.

Vigorous application of both birch and strap had failed to drive the demon out, but his father refused to give up on his sinful son. Carlisle would find himself stripped and bound while a whip cut into the flesh of his back, buttocks and legs until his blood soaked the ground, leaving him too weak to move. The Vicar continued to strive to toughen his son up physically and spiritually so he could castoff the Devil residing within. The man spent hours every day grooming the boy by the use of physical pain and lectures on scripture in the plan to have the boy eventually take his place as an instrument of God; rooting out evil and banishing it through exposure to the cleansing righteous light of day.

His father's lessons had eventually taken hold and the young Cullen took up the task of hunting down the evil that lived amongst men. Witch hunts made him squeamish due to having watched his father convict so many that his son believed to be innocent of the crimes described, but Carlisle excelled in the hunt of unnatural beasts. Shortly after his twenty third birthday, on one such hunt his life had ended, transforming him and finally revealing his demon that his father had tried so desperately to beat into submission.

Carlisle suddenly placed his hand against the left side of his neck near his collarbone covering the faint scar that marred his pale skin.

_And now I am a far fouler beast than any that roam the nightmare fields of the human mind__.__ Not only am I that unnatural evil that lurks in the dark, I also appear to be slowly de-evolving into one of the worst of human monsters__.__ I have allowed my anger to harm my son_. Carlisle closed his eyes as he leaned his head back against the soft cushion. _There is no evil in my boy to be driven out, yet I follow my father__'s lead__ and progressed to a more severe implement of punishment. The moment I held his belt in my hand I sealed my wretched fate, but the most depraved part is knowing that given the ability to go back and correct what I__'ve done__, I wouldn't have changed a thing_.

The sounds of Jasper's distress echoed in his head mixed with the visions of the punishment inflicted and forgiveness given. It was such a small gesture but it was one that he could not deny that made him different from his father. Where his father would turn away from tears in disgust, Carlisle held Jasper in his arms and offered words of reassurance and love. He would never permit any of his children to suffer through the feelings of abandonment that he had learned to accept in his youth.

In the beginning, Carlisle's southern son had been embarrassed by his emotional display, but his father had taken the time to explain that tears were not the weakness Jasper's upbringing had taught him to believe them to be. Carlisle saw them as a physical release of the guilt that weighted so heavily on the boy's soul when he knew that he had done wrong. The catharsis of that release was desirable as it opened pathways to allow healing to begin.

That had been a hard thing for Jasper to grasp, but eventually Carlisle's logic won him over. He still fought hard against his tears; however he no longer berated himself or apologized for them when they finally came. Jasper also now not only tolerated his father's comforting, but came to appreciate and expect it. In the past, the boy would stiffen whenever Carlisle tried to hug him. Now he appeared to melt into his father's arms which gave Carlisle back as much comfort as he provided to his emotionally ravaged son. This evening, after delivering such a harsh punishment, he found himself grateful to be able to hold his son until his tears ceased to fall and then just a little bit longer.

Carlisle sighed inwardly as his mind continued to churn up visions of brutal abuse, caring discipline, callous abandonment and loving support. Could such opposing dichotomies really exist in one being? Regardless of what he wanted to believe, he knew that he was his father's understudy and the violent abuser would always lurk just beneath the surface but with diligence he hoped to keep the beast caged safely away from his family.

Footfalls on the walk leading towards the front door drew Carlisle's attention. Closing his book and placing it on the coffee table, he sat up a little straighter as he attempted to silence the voices in his head. Happiness surged through him as his wife and daughter stepped into the house, but the worried expression on Alice's face dulled his joy.

"He will be just fine angel, but I'm sure that he will welcome your attention more than just about anything else right now. Go on up and take care of Jasper."

Alice crossed over to her father and kissed him on the cheek. "Are you okay, daddy?"

Carlisle smiled and gave a slight nod. "I've been better, princess. It will take a little time, but I think we will all be alright."

Esme placed her hands on her daughter's shoulders and whispered in her ear, "Go on. I have this one. Go take care of yours."

With a nod, Alice turned and disappeared up the stairs leaving her father in her mother's care.

Esme crossed her arms as she silently assessed her husband's rather pitiful state. "Carlisle, what have you done…"

"I whipped my boy."

"No, my love. What have you done to yourself? You look awful." She sank down next to him on the sofa and, wrapping her arms around him, hugged him close. Carlisle's arms slipped around her as he buried his face against her breasts and deeply inhaled her comforting scent.

"Same answer applies." He felt the tears that he had managed to hold at bay spring up to sting his eyes. "I hope I did the right thing, but at the moment it just feels so wrong. I should have waited. I shouldn't have trusted myself with him so soon. I needed to give myself more time and distance."

Esme hushed her mate as she rocked him gently and raked her fingers through his hair. She sighed quietly while she wondered if she had enough strength to carry them through the night. She still felt the need to talk to Rosalie and Edward, but her husband needed her so badly that she couldn't imagine leaving him alone.

"Honey, did you lie to Alice when you told her that Jasper would be fine?"

A shake of his head was the only response her question received.

"Then why are you questioning yourself? Jazz needed to atone for his own peace of mind. I am certain that is what you did for him; not to him, Carlisle, for him. There is not a question in my mind that you would never hurt that boy."

Carlisle pulled up to look into Esme's dark honey gold eyes. "I nearly killed him. That is a serious case for hurt in my book. Severely beating him might not be quite as bad as killing him, but it's clearly still not acceptable behavior for anyone, especially for a man who claims to love his son."

"Carlisle Cullen, you would not have killed Jasper and you do much more than just claim to love him." Esme's stern glare and firm chiding tone caused her husband to drop his gaze. His chagrin caused his wife to alter the timbre of her voice as she continued softly. "I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean for that to come out as a reprimand, but I had thought this was settled earlier. I feel confident in saying that Jazz is on the mend from his guilt; now it's time to let go of yours. Trust yourself, Carlisle; just as we trust you."

"Trust is something that is earned, Esme. I don't have a clue of how I can regain that in myself. It's easier to have faith in others since their actions are what build trust. How do I find a way to do that internally?"

His eyes were closed as his head hung low and his voice dripped with dejection. Esme sighed as she reached out to stroke his hair then ran the back of her hand down his jaw until she cupped his chin to gently lift his head. "Open your eyes, Carlisle," she whispered. He acquiesced halfheartedly and soon she saw the deep sorrow that floated in his tear filled eyes. "You rebuild trust in yourself the same way. Through the words that you tell yourself and the actions that you take with others. Do you trust me?"

He swallowed back the choking venom and nodded.

"Trust our children?"

"Yes, Esme," His voice came in a hoarse whisper.

"Then let us be the foundation for you to build on. Let the faith that we have in you support your efforts to trust yourself. I will call Jasper down here right now if hearing from his lips that you didn't treat him abusively will help you let this go."

Carlisle shook his head. "He needs to rest and be given time to heal. He really does need Alice right now. I won't disturb them."

"Carlisle, if he can help you, he would want to know that. That boy loves you and would be upset to find out that he could have eased your suffering, but was denied the opportunity."

Inhaling deeply, he shook his head once again as a tear rolled down his cheek. "Jasper has already helped me. He gave me the most precious thing in the world; the love of a son for a father. He called me…" Carlisle choked a bit as he became overwhelmed by the mixture of emotions before forcing his voice to continue. "He called me his father."

Esme's confused expression caused Carlisle to sigh. "Why wouldn't he acknowledge that you are his father? He is clearly your son."

"All this time there has been a division in our relationship that I don't feel with the other children. Jasper has always seen me as his coven leader, but tonight when he started to use that title for me he stopped and corrected himself. I could feel the change in the energy between us. I felt so… blessed, but that was before I whipped him. What if I have ruined this new dynamic before it ever even really had a chance to start?"

"Oh, Carlisle." She sighed heavily as she patted his cheek. "What am I to do with you?"

He caught her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her palm gently before holding that delicate hand between his. "I don't mean to worry you, love. I meant it when I told Alice that we would all be alright. It will take time, but I know that you are right about drawing on the support of my family to help pick myself back up. A man could not ask for any more than what I have been blessed with in a beautiful loving wife and five extraordinary individuals that I can call my children."

Carlisle released her hand to free his allowing him to run his fingers through the hair at her temples while he leaned in and kissed her passionately. Breaking their kiss, he spoke softly while staring lovingly into her eyes. "I don't deserve you, Esme, but as long as you are willing to put up with me I know that I can weather any storm. I am deeply sorry that I have forced this burden upon you, love. You really should not have had to deal with the events of today, but I thank your graciousness."

"Carlisle, you haven't burdened me with a thing." Her hand rested lightly at the back of his neck while her fingers played with the hair that curled at his nape. "You and the children are my world. I know that this will come as a shock to you, but taking care of my family is my job. I never want you to regret allowing me to fulfill that task." She kissed him then whispered in his ear, "I love you Carlisle Cullen. Don't ever doubt that and let me decide what you do and don't deserve when it comes to me."

Effortlessly she threw her leg over his to straddle his lap while she held his eyes. A smoldering look and her delightfully wicked smile caused Carlisle to shudder with anticipated pleasure. Her lips trailed up his neck from the faded scar to his jaw which she nipped at playfully. Her tongue slid between his teeth as her mouth claimed his, drawing a deep moan from her lover.

Esme's free hand snaked its way between their bodies to slip beneath the waist band of his slacks causing Carlisle's body to quiver as it responded eagerly to her touch. Her fingers tightened in his hair allowing her to pull his head back to break their kiss. Carlisle's half closed eyes held no sorrow now and a light smile brightened his face. Esme grinned then quietly whispered, "Isn't this better than that self-doubt, lover?" Carlisle nodded while he blissfully groaned then let out a little gasp at her exploratory touch.

"Mom and Dad, could you… just… oh God, would you, please…. We are still in the house, you know? That is just… REALLY? GOD, that's disgusting. Dad, would you at least try to control your thoughts?"

Esme collapsed on top of Carlisle as they both broke down into laughter.

"Oh, speaking of things that I still need to deal with tonight. I do owe Rosalie and Edward some attention." Esme kissed Carlisle then patted his thigh before getting up to go see to her wayward children. She trailed her fingers across his crotch and down his inner thigh as she left him and headed up the stairs.

"Nice going, Edward! Couldn't you have suffered in silence like the rest of us instead of being a jackass? Now we're back to being in trouble. Smooth move," Rose snapped at her brother in disgust.

"Rosalie, language. Edward, if you would stay out of my head you wouldn't be disturbed by my thoughts. We have been over this countless times before," Carlisle reprimanded his children lightly then added, "And son, I will get even with you for this. Count on it."

* * *

**AN:** I had planned to start this off with Alice comforting Jazz but this just seemed more logical. Tried to help fill in the the missing "after care" by showing a little of it through Carlisle's memory.

Thanks one and all for keeping me motivated as I work my way through this tangled little tale. Of course, special thanks to Splinter for her beta services. I did do better with this one. Probably because I spent a couple days just skipping around in Carlisle's head...which was oddly relaxing. LOL


	14. Merciful Minx

Alice hurried up the stairs and tapped quietly on the bedroom door before cracking it open to zip inside.

"You didn't need to knock, honey." Jasper's voice was muffled by the pillow that wrapped around his head. Had he still been human he most certainly would have suffocated by now.

Alice tilted her head as she studied her mate carefully. He was lying on his stomach, which was to be expected, but she was amused as well as just a tiny bit frustrated to find him clothed in only his boxers. Clothes horse that she was, Alice could not imagine not wanting to be fashionably dressed unless...

"Jazzy, you aren't feeling frisky, are you? Why aren't you dressed?"

Jasper lifted the pillow slightly so he could glance at his adorably impish mate. "Darlin', I love you with all my heart forever and ever, but if you think I can be frisky right now you are a few sandwiches short of a picnic." He groaned as she bounded over and sat next to him causing the bed to bounce. "I am not plannin' on leavin' this room until tomorrow and with the fire lit on my butt you're lucky that I'm wearin' anything at all."

His wife rubbed his back gently as his head disappeared beneath the pillow again. "You can put on some sweats so you can be comfortable and we can go on a little hunt. Some fresh blood will help you heal faster. I'm sure daddy wouldn't mind; besides getting out of the house will do you good. Fresh air, freedom and all that stuff is good for the spirit. "

The pillow began to mumble softly,"Nope. That aint happenin'. The last thing I need is to have somethin' brush against my behind while I'm trying to limp after some damn doe. I wouldn't be game for that anyway, Sweetness. I deserve to feel this one for a while. It's my own damn fault so I just have to buck up and suffer though. It doesn't seem right to try to fast track it away; as much as I would like to."

"Wanna talk about it? That helps sometimes, you know?"

The pillow gave a grunt.

Alice was at a loss on how to make Jasper feel better. If he didn't want to do anything and he wouldn't talk what use could she be to her mate? "Was it really awful?" Her soft voice wavered slightly as worry for her love tinged her tone while her small hands massaged the tight hard muscles of his shoulders.

"Didn't you see?"

She shook her head before remembering that Jasper couldn't see her. "No. I blocked the vision. I made momma sing silly songs with me to try to keep me distracted. I think we might have scared the clerk at the hardware store. Don't think he has ever had two women go through his line singing Little Bunny Foo Foo while buying a dry wall patch kit and some mud. Was a weird day for him, I'm sure."

"No doubt in my mind about that." The pillow snorted and began to chuckle causing a smile to form on Alice's lips. Her husband would certainly bounce back from this with his usual tenacity; he just needed to do it in his own time and she would be there for him every step of the way.

As her hands ran the length of his bare back a startling thought caused a deep frown to crease her forehead. "Did daddy… Did daddy make you strip, Jazzy?"

"No, hunny bunny. Papa took my belt to my bare ass, but that was it. I ended up getting undressed afterwards since I just wanted to be more comfortable."

Alice gasped in shock at Jasper's admission. "Why did he use a belt on you? Why did he use your belt on you? Daddy is a 'hand only' kind of guy. What the hell was that about?"

Jasper sighed. She wasn't going to let any of this simply drop so he figured he might as well give in and get it over with. Taking the pillow from around his head, he rolled onto his side with a grimace before hugging it against his chest as he gazed steadily into his mate's bright eyes. "Alice darlin', papa did what he felt he had to do to get through my thick skull. I had a lesson to learn, one that he wasn't lookin' to give twice. With the attitude I was givin' him... " He averted his eyes as he thought for a moment then looked back at his lovable wife before he continued, "He let me off rather easy, all things considered. Roles reversed, I don't think I would have had anywhere near his tolerance and...well yeah."

"But a belt, Jazzy?"

"MY belt, babe and I would like you to do something for me. Will you please get rid of it and buy me a new one next time you're out. I know how much of a hardship shopping is for you, " he rolled his eyes as he grinned at his little joke, "but it would mean a lot to me if you could help me out there. Just don't want that reminder hangin' round." He nodded towards the desk where the belt laid.

Alice glared at it as though it were some hideous venomous viper lying in wait to strike. How could her caring father have used that vile creation on her sweet sensitive husband? She closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath. She wouldn't allow herself to become angry with her father. The reason that she hadn't permitted the vision to play in her head was because she knew that she would be angry and didn't want to force Carlisle to fend off her fury. Carlisle and Jasper had both been through enough strife; she refused to add more to their already overburdened evening.

As she forced the anger back, she began to nod. "I'll get rid of it, but if this is going to become some sort of habit for daddy, I'm not so sure about buying you another one."

"Then how am I supposed to hold my pants up?" Jasper brushed his mate's cheek gently as he smiled up at her. "It's okay. I promise you I'm alright, darlin'. Papa didn't really use it that much, and don't be tellin' him this, but I think his hand hurts more. We had ourselves a little hand to butt discussion well before he let the belt wrap up that conversation. Belt is a different kinda hurt, but papa's hand..." He whistled low as he shook his head slightly.

Alice wasn't convinced as she glared back at the strip of leather. "Why your belt, Jazzy? Daddy could have used his own. It seems mean to ..."

"Psychological warfare. Besides, we would get in trouble if we had to make his belt disappear. It's better this way."

Alice crossed her arms and pouted. She looked so cute when she was confused. Jasper let her puzzle on his words for several seconds before he offered an explanation.

"Papa knows his stuff. By making me give up my belt he is making me take responsibility for that ass whipping. If I wasn't agreeing with him that it was deserved, I could have easily refused." She raised an eyebrow at Jasper's words, but he continued before she could speak. "No, I doubt that I would have refused, however knowing that there is that option is rather empowering for the penitent."

His little pixie huffed. She really didn't understand, but Jasper figured that was due more to her not wanting to admit that just maybe Carlisle really wasn't in the wrong.

"Alice, I know you don't really have human memories since they all got jumbled up on you, but I'm sure that you have at least heard of having to pick your own switch. Can't imagine Mississippi being all that different from Texas and switchings were common where I was from."

She nodded.

"That's pretty much the same thing. I'm sure if papa could find a switch that would hold up to my buns of steel he would have gone that way instead of using a belt."

Alice's musical giggles filled the room as Jasper finally managed to break through her frustration. "Those buns of steel are mighty sexy, cowboy." She leaned down to give him a kiss. Without realizing, the pressure she was applying against her husband, she tipped him over onto his back. Jasper winced and broke their kiss as he hissed through clenched teeth. Alice's eyes grew wide. "Oh, Jazzy. I'm so sorry. I didn't..."

Stiffly he shifted back onto his hip and reached his hand behind her head, cutting her words off with a kiss of his own. Tossing the pillow towards the foot of the bed, Jasper pulled his Alice down beside him and hugged her tightly. As the kiss ended, his mate buried her head against his chest while he petted her gently.

After moments of silence she whispered softly, "Did daddy at least make it better?"

Jasper felt his heart break at the level of sadness in her voice. "You know he did, darlin'." He kissed the top of her head before she shifted around to look up into his eyes. "Papa made sure that even though my butt may be sore, my spirit was very much intact. It's lighter as well since he helped free me of my guilt." Jasper sighed heavily. "He made me bawl like a baby, can't lie to you on that, but he forgave me and made sure that I knew he still loves me; attitude and all. You've got nothing to worry about."

A light kissed to the tip of her nose caused Alice to break out in giggles again. "I guess I can forgive him this time."

Jasper raised an eyebrow while a smirk danced on his lips. "You better forgive, papa. Angels of Mercy aren't supposed to hold on to any animosity, you know, or did you skip over that chapter in your rule book?"

"I thought I was a frightening little monster. When did I get promoted to being an angel of mercy?" Alice smiled sweetly as she lost herself in Jasper's amber eyes while her fingers ran through his hair.

Jasper growled at having his words fed back to him. _Damn that flawless vampire memory_. He closed one eye while his words swiftly formed. "Well, perhaps more of a merciful monster sometimes, but you are always my sweet little angelic treasure."

Alice kissed her husband passionately then cuddled up close against his chest as his arms wrapped protectively around her. Inhaling her scent, Jasper felt his body relax. The stinging throbbing pain was still there, but as long as he had his Alice in his arms all was right with his world. Light kisses suddenly covered his chest before sharp teeth caught his nipple drawing a gasp from him.

"Alice."

"Hm?" She pulled back slightly then released her hold. "Is there something wrong, Jazzy?"

Her wide eyed innocent expression caused him to snort. "Babe, I told you that I'm not up for that right now."

She cocked her head to the side as she gazed at him with a sly smile. "I know you are a betting man, baby and I bet that I can get you up for it." Her fingers grazed his inner thigh as her kisses moved from his chest to his stomach.

He moaned in a halfhearted protest. "Baby doll, my ass can't take it right now."

"I just won't bite it this time." She giggled quietly.

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

"Major Whitlock, I made you a promise this afternoon and I always keep my promises to you." Her hand brushed his cock through the thin fabric of his boxers as she kissed her way back up to his lips. "Do you remember what that promise was?"

He shook his head as his breath caught in his chest and his mind went blank.

"I am shocked, Major. I promised to show you just how much of a minx I can be." She grinned ear to ear as her eyes glittered with mischief. "See, that hunt would have been a good idea since you would have benefited from the faster healing, but with you always being so stubborn I guess I'll just have to give you a break tonight." Kissing his cheek, she nuzzled his neck near his jaw and whispered, "You can be on top."

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**AN:** Even though he didn't want to talk about it, Alice's ability to draw Jasper out seems to have worked in easing his troubles. Funny, even with his busted behind, Jasper seems to have gotten a much better deal than Carlisle. Lucky little bugger. Guess it's a good thing that Esme is keeping Edward busy so he doesn't get put out by his siblings tryst.

As always guys, thanks to you all and thanks to my top notch beta Splinter. Be back soon with Esme, Edward and Rose. ;-)


	15. Kitty Falls From Grace

**AN: ***warning* Was tossing back a good amount of redbull today since I didn't get much sleep last night. That tends to reflect in my writing. Just wanted to give y'all a heads up because it makes for some serious turbulence in this one. ... a sudden stop, as well.

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Esme stood quietly at her son's bedroom door as she said a silent prayer that he wouldn't make this more difficult for her than necessary. Of all of her children, it was clear that Edward was her baby. Esme tried hard not to play favorites, but Carlisle's first born would always hold a special place in her heart. The thought of ever having to punish him was abhorrent to her. _Why do the children have to be so head strong?_ A frustrated sigh escaped her lips.

"There is no point in standing out there all night, mom. Just come in."

It wasn't the most elegant of invitations, but Esme accepted and soon found herself leaning against the opposite side of the closed door. "Edward, we need to talk."

Edward looked up from the lounge and rolled his eyes at her words. "I already had figured that out."

"Baby, that attitude is unbecoming. I would appreciate it if you would take it down a bit. Disregard and disrespect is what has landed you in this mess to being with."

Esme watched as her son's head bowed and shoulders sagged at the reminder of his earlier blunder. "I'm sorry, momma. I know that I should have listened to you, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I just wanted to help my brother."

His mother crossed the short distance between them and placed her hand lightly on the boy's shoulder. "I know, baby, but when I told you to wait until your father could look at Emmett's shoulder I had my reasons. It would have been just too easy for something to go wrong."

"I know." He moved his legs to make room for his mother to sit with him as he sighed softly. "It's just that I know how to do it. It's not like I haven't been trained. Rose could have set his shoulder also."

Esme sat down with her hands folded in her lap. "Yes, she could have, but she didn't. She has been the latest of you children to run through medical school so I know she is knowledgeable, but your father has a great deal more practice. It is the "practice" of medicine, love. You know what they say, practice makes perfect." She reached her hand out and tipped his head back until he met her eyes. "I know that you meant well, baby and your father says that you did an excellent job, however there was another reason that I didn't want your involvement. You robbed your father of an opportunity to feel needed which would have helped divert his mind from his troubles for a least a few precious minutes."

The pained expression on Edward's face told Esme that she need not say anymore. "I...It never even occurred... God, I'm so sorry, momma. If I had realized... I didn't even think about..." His hands came up to cover his face as he suddenly lamented his actions. Esme pulled his hands away and stared into his shimmering venom filled eyes. "If I had known I would have never done that to dad."

"I know, sweetheart, but you didn't realize it which is why I gave you those instructions. You need to learn to listen to me. This may come as a shock to you, Edward, but I don't say things just to hear myself talk." _Oh dear, did I just become my mother? I swear I can remember her saying that. It's rather strange when you think about which memories don't quite fade._ Esme shook her head for a moment before continuing, "The next time I ask you to do something, please respect my wishes, baby. I have no desire to limit your activities; just know that I always have reasons behind my requests even if you don't understand them at the time."

Edward nodded then let his head bow again as he muttered, "Yes, ma'am."

Esme patted his thigh. "Looks like we are almost finished here, sweetheart."

The boy looked up at her slightly confused. While his mother's lecture hadn't been pleasant, it wasn't nearly as bad as he had feared. "You're not going to punish me? Ground me or something?"

Esme sighed as she stood up and motioned for him to follow. "I didn't say that, love. Both you and Em were deliberately disobedient, something that you know neither your father nor I will stand for. Emmett has already been punished. I think it would be unfair of me to punish him and not you, don't you?"

Edward swallowed hard as he got to his feet then simply nodded in agreement.

"Alright, baby. Same crime, same punishment." She gently took Edward's elbow and turned him so he was angled away from her. Her hand popped his behind sharply three times causing her baby boy to hiss before she turned him back to face her.

Edward rubbed at the stinging in his cheeks while he cautiously met his mother's eyes wondering what was coming next.

Esme folded her arms at her waist as she held her son with a stern no-nonsense look. "Don't let this sort of thing happen again, Edward. I mean it. From now on you listen when I tell you something. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am, I understand."

His mother continued to stare at him as if she wasn't sure that she believed him then a smile slowly grew upon her lips. Opening her arms she invited Edward into a hug that he was only too happy to accept. Esme's fingers tangled in his bronze locks as she cooed softly. After several minutes of being awashed in her love and forgiveness Edward pulled back with tears in his eyes. The slight spanking was no cause for tears, but his mother's easy acceptance of him and his flaws tugged at the boy's unbeating heart.

"It's alright, baby." With her hand on the back of his neck she pulled his head down and kissed his forehead. "Don't worry so much, Edward. Everyone, including your daddy, is going to be just fine." She released him then took a step back before taking one of his hands in hers and slapping it with her free hand smartly.

"Ow!" He jerked his hand away and shook it while a questioning look darkened his features.

"That is for disturbing your father and I. He would be further along on this road to recovery had you not butted in, young man."

"That was not entirely my fault. Can't the two of you go off somewhere to do that sort of thing? That really is not cool, mom. And dear Lord the things dad was thinking about doing." He shuddered at the recall.

"Oh, do share, hon; your father always comes up with the most unique ideas."

"NO!" His eyes were big as saucers and he sneered in disgust. "Just...ew. You keep that between yourselves and out of the house if at all possible."

Esme couldn't help but laugh at her son's objections. "Edward, love, you wouldn't be nearly as upset if you hadn't been probing around in your father's head. We actually do try to take everyone's feelings into account and plan our fun when you all are out of the house, but sometimes you are just going to have to accept the fact that we are no different than any other couple in this house. Just wait until you find the right girl for you. Then you will feel differently because you'll understand better."

"PFFT. I still don't want to hear my parents f ... Oh just never mind."

Esme smiled and ruffled his hair. "You are my sweet silly little boy." She pulled him into a quick hug then let him go as she spoke softly, "I think we're done here, Edward. Behave yourself, sweetheart. I would hate to have to punish you more sternly, but should we run into this problem again, I wouldn't hesitate. I know that your father won't either."

He nodded then kissed her cheek. "I love you, momma."

"I love you too, Edward." Esme smiled at her baby boy. "After my talk with your sister, maybe you can give me a hand with patching that wall?"

His eyes twinkled as he grinned. "It would be my pleasure. Just let me know when I'm needed and I'll be there."

"You always are there when I need you, sweetheart. You always are." She lightly patted his cheek then aimed him back towards his lounge chair with a soft swat before taking her leave.

As the door latch clicked quietly behind her, Esme could only hope that Rosalie would prove as easy to deal with as Edward had been, but she highly doubted it. Her daughter's combative attitude was in full swing this evening which caused Esme no end of stress as she walked down the hallway much slower than usual, yet arrived all too soon.

With a soft knock she announced herself. "Rosalie. Emmett. May I please come in?"

"Sure thing mom. Door is always open to you," Emmett answered in a jovial voice as he swiftly let his mother in and swept her into his arms. The bruin boy spun Esme around before placing her carefully back on her feet.

Esme laughed at her son's playfulness then turned her attention towards her daughter with a slight sigh. The expression on Rose's face was just as dour as it had been when she was downstairs. Apparently time spent with her mate hadn't tempered the girl's demeanor at all.

"Emmy, would you please leave us alone for a little while? We shouldn't be very long and then I'll come get you."

The muscular dark haired youth looked from his mother to his wife and then back again. He wasn't wild about the idea of leaving either alone with the other, but he knew that the choice really wasn't his to make. "Yes, ma'am, but if you all need something just give a shout out. I won't be far." He ambled over to where his mate sat on the bed sulking. "Be back, babe. Love you." Emmett leaned over and gave his mate a kiss. "Go light on mom, okay?"

As he moved towards the door, Em glanced back once more at his mother. She smiled and gave him a nod of dismissal, but he could tell that she was just as worried as he was. "If you need me," he added again before heading out to see if maybe Eddie was interested in a little Xbox to help keep him occupied. He would have rather challenged Jasper to some Call of Duty, but it sounded like his little bro was already answering another call.

"Rosalie…"

"Esme, this really isn't necessary. Look, I'm sorry that I lost my temper and put a hole in the damn wall, but I cleaned up the mess. You can't get mad at me because of Edward and Emmett. I did all that I could. I can't help it if they are too stupid to listen. They are just bullheaded and you know it."

Esme sat down on the foot of the bed and allowed her daughter to finish before she spoke again.

"Rose, this is not about Emmett or Edward's misbehavior. I know that they went behind your back. Their foolishness is no fault of yours, sweetheart." She shifted a little and sighed. "But we do need to discuss your behavior and yes, your temper."

Rose rolled her eyes as she turned her attention away from her mother and towards her nails. The color and condition of her polish was much more pressing than her mother's petty complaints about her behavior.

"Rosalie, please look at me when I'm speaking. Give me that much respect."

The elegant blonde huffed and glared at her mother.

"That is enough, young lady. Your language has been vulgar, your attitude abysmal, and your overall deportment completely offensive. I have had all that I care to take from you. I did not come up here to punish you, Rosalie, but if you don't straighten up right now that may very well change."

"Whatever."

Esme closed her eyes and counted in her head as she fought to maintain her calm. "Rosalie Lillian Hale Cullen, you will not take that tone with me. Where is this attitude coming from? You were fine when I left you to go after your father, but we came home to this. What happened?"

"Your precious baby showed what an ass he is and I get the blame. That's what happened and it happens all the time. I'm sick of it, Esme. Edward can do no wrong. You told me to keep them from fucking with Emmett's shoulder, but I couldn't do that. No matter what you say, I know you blame me. It's just not fair."

"No one is blaming you, Rose, but it sounds like you're holding this over your own head," Esme kept her voice even as she attempted to reason with her daughter. Rosalie appeared to be looking for a fight and her mother was determined not to get sucked into it. "Talk to me, Rose. Let's work this out."

"Fuck you, mother."

Some instinct buried deeply within Esme caused her to draw her hand back, but with a gasp of shock she managed to stop herself just short of striking the sneer off of her daughter's face. "Oh dear, God," she whispered to herself as tears flooded her eyes.

"What? So you're going to hit me now? Well come on, mother. Give me your best shot. I've been through worse before, you know? Figures that you would stoop to something like that. Pointers from Charles, I guess? You coddle your boys, but heaven forbid one of the girls fuck up. All we're good for is slapping around, right?"

Esme got up and walked over to the window. She needed to put a little space between herself and her insolent daughter before the situation got any further out of hand. The matriarch of the family had rarely raised a hand to her children and if she did she was careful and methodical in its application. She would have never dreamed of striking in anger or slapping any one of her children in the face. That was far too much like…"What is happening to this family?" She slumped to the floor and sat, drawing her knees up into her chest while she pressed her head against the smooth glass._ One small incident, a tiny regrettable episode between two brothers, and we all lose our humanity?_ Her slim frame began to shake uncontrollably as the horrors of her day crashed over her. Brother against brother. Father against son. Carlisle losing himself in the fear of becoming a child abuser. Now, she herself moved to violence much too reminiscent of the abuse she suffered at Charles' hands. The foundation of her seemingly perfect family suddenly seemed so deeply cracked, flawed, and crumbling that she wasn't sure how it managed to continue to stand.

With cold indifference Rose watched Esme walk away, but when her mother collapsed Rosalie's initial smugness gave way to fear for the one woman she truly admired and loved. Leaping from the bed she was at Esme's side in a blink. "I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean any of it. I was angry. I should have never said those things to you." She laid her hand on Esme's arm only to have her mother jerk away as if her daughter's touch had burnt her. "CARLISLE! CARLISLE, COME QUICK! WE NEED YOU RIGHT NOW!"

"Momma, please talk to me. Tell me what I can do to fix this."

"What do you need, Kitty? Is your mother being too…?" Carlisle's easy demeanor turned to panic as he took in the sight of his daughter crouched next to his apparently despondent wife. "Esme sweetheart, what happened?" For the second time today he found himself on his knees next to his lover though this time the wound that dropped her was not so apparent. "Rosalie, what is going on in here?"

As he reached for Esme, she turned and buried her face against his chest while clinging to Carlisle with all her strength. He stroked her hair as he cradled her against him. "It's okay, love. Shh." He kissed her forehead gently then laid his cheek against the top of her head while he rocked in an attempt to calm them both.

Alerted by Rose's call, Emmett and Edward stood silently in the doorway watching the scene before them unfold.

"What's going on," a hushed voice drawled.

Edward glanced over his shoulder to find Jasper standing behind him fumbling with the buttons on his shirt as he hurriedly dressed. Try as he might, Edward could not suppress a smirk. "Forgot something there, Chief?"

Jasper looked down at his underwear then rolled his eyes at his brother. "Look, at least I'm not nekkid. Now, are ya gonna fill me in or what?"

Alice wrapped her arms around her mate as she walked up behind him, causing him to flinch when she brushed against his hindquarters. "Oops," she whispered before turning her expectant gaze on her brother while she also waited for his response. Her and Jasper's 'activities' had distracted Alice, so for once her visions had been completely kept in the dark.

"From what I'm getting from Rose, it seems that she was going all out on mom and then momma just snapped. Rose's head is oddly jumbled up right now." He stopped for a second while he appeared to be straining to hear something then shook his head. "I'm not getting anything at all from mom."

A calming wave filled the room to wash over the three occupants. Carlisle noticed Esme relax slightly in his arms and he was once again reminded as to how lucky he was to be a father to such wonderful children. _Thank you, son._

Keeping his voice very calm and quiet so as not to upset his mate any further he looked his daughter in the eye and demanded, "Rosalie, I am waiting for an explanation. Some clarity would be of great value in sorting this all out."

Rosalie swallowed back a lump in her throat as she looked away from her father's penetrating gaze. "I honestly don't know entirely what happened."

"Start with what you do know."

She inhaled deeply and held the breath as she struggled with her words before slowly releasing the trapped air. With her head slightly bowed, Rose placed her fingers against her temples and rubbed away at the tension she felt herself buckling under. Dropping her hands she raised her head to look back at her father's face then sighed.

"Mom came in to talk to me. I suppose I was being a bit belligerent."

Edward's snort caused Carlisle to glance over towards the congregation at the door. A raised brow compelled his son to shift his gaze to the floor and fall quiet as he silently vowed to keep his comments to himself. Satisfied with the success of his wordless rebuke, Carlisle returned his attention to his daughter.

"Please continue, Rosalie."

"I wasn't what you would call respectful and said some things that really don't bear repeating." She glanced at Esme curled up against Carlisle's chest. The devastating shame she felt in recalling her treatment of her mother was worse than anything she had ever experienced. "I cursed at momma. I knew that I was pushing her hard, but just couldn't stop myself." She thought for a moment then shook her head. Rose had a tendency to be brutally honest and she would extend that quirk towards herself. Her father needed to know the complete truth if he was going to be able to help her mother. Rosalie would bear his wrath if it would somehow benefit her mother and undo the harm she had caused. "That isn't quite right. I could have stopped myself; I just didn't want to. I was angry and I wanted to hurt momma."

Emmett groaned quietly and shook his head at his wife's confession. He had known that it was a bad idea to leave his mate and his mother alone. The burly boy had tried and tried to calm Rose down before Esme's arrival, but obviously he had been completely unsuccessful and this was the result.

Carlisle drew a deep breath as he held his daughter's amber eyes then tilted his head slightly. "I would say that you were extremely successful in your endeavor, Kitty. Your mother is certainly hurting now. Are you pleased with your accomplishment?"

His often haughty daughter looked at him for a moment before humbly dropping her gaze and shaking her head. "If there was any way to do so, I would take it all back; every word."

"Well, you know that is an impossibility which is why you must be mindful of your words and the harm that they can cause." While still holding Esme close to him he reached a hand out and lifted his daughter's head up with light pressure beneath her chin. He noted the film of venom that coated her eyes as she was forced to endure a rarely experienced moment of remorsefulness. "Words have the ability to cause more harm than some of the harshest of actions when carelessly used by the ones we love."

"Yes, sir. I'm realizing that now." Her voice was very quiet and subdued.

Carlisle gave her a few moments with her own thoughts then broke the silence with his gentle tone. "I think that we may want to move this conversation to the privacy of my study, Kitty."

Esme shook her head and spoke for the first time since her collapse. "No, Carlisle. Don't please. She has been through so much already."

Sensing his mother's agitation, Jasper intervened with his calming ability as he worked hard to ease the tension around him. Carlisle and Rose both welcomed the comfort that the boy's gift offered, but Esme's discomposure was rapidly building to the point that his serene manipulation was having little effect.

Thoughts of the abuse that had brought about an end to her daughter's life flooded her mind with a sudden fury. She would not allow her husband to facilitate any action that stood even the slightest possibility of bring those memories back. Rose had said it herself; she had endured worse than the slap that Esme had nearly dealt her. She could not stand the thought of her daughter coming to equate her or Carlisle with the abuse she had suffered at the hands of Royce King and his associates.

The images her mind created of Rosalie's suffering began to mingle with the worst memories Esme possessed; memories so deeply entrenched that even the painful venom had not been able to take them away. Her body quivered as its own physically imprinted memories recalled open handed slaps and closed fisted punches. She recalled Charles' rough touches that so often turned into sexual abuse. In her heart she knew it was rape, but her parents had told her that no such thing existed in a marriage bed. She had been forced to accept their explanation just to keep them happy.

"Carlisle, please promise me."

He registered physical pain at her pitiful pleas. "Sweetheart, I won't make a promise that I'm not sure I can keep. Rosalie's actions deserve to be punished."

"But not like that, Carlisle. Find another way to correct her. I can't stand for her to feel abused."

"Abused?" A chill raced down his spine at the horrendous word that had been his constant companion this evening. He looked towards his daughter for illumination.

Instead of offering an explanation, Rose reached out and took her mother's hand gently. Once she was sure that she had Esme's attention she spoke quietly. "Momma, I can't tell you how sorry I am to have put these thoughts in your head. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have never brought up Charles. I was lashing out. I knew exactly how to hurt you and now I regret doing that." Her eyes never left Esme's but she could feel the intensity of her father's glare as she conceded to the vilest part of her conduct. "I have never felt abused. There is not a soul in this house who would permit that to happen. We all fight for each other and protect one another. The only victim of abuse here is you, momma, and I am the culprit. I verbally and emotionally abused you. I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

* * *

**AN:** Well it was an emotional roller coaster for me. This was not the way I had intended to break Esme down, but she saw the opening and just went with it. Now, I would like to make a request because I'm on the fence here and am interested in y'all's opinions again. What do y'all think Carlisle should do with Rose? He is well within his right to punish her. While she didn't attack Esme and endanger her life like Jasper did, Rosalie did still cause harm. Not to mention that she was so far from the realm of being respectful that it is amazing that she can find her way back at all. That being said, I don't think that anyone can fail to realize how truly contrite she is. Rosalie knows that she screwed up and hurt someone who really does mean a great deal to her. With her knowing that she should be punished for this, there can be a great deal to be learned through unexpected mercy; more so when it is completely undeserved. Carlisle is nothing if not merciful. So, where do you guys stand? Look forward to reading your thoughts.

All my gratitude to you all for the continual adds, reviews, pms and putting up with this story in general; there is a light starting to glow at the end of this tunnel. Special thanks to Splinter and her poor bleeding eyes that take the hit for everyone else. *grins*


	16. Power of Compassion

Rosalie was devastated by the pained expression in her suffering mother's darkening eyes. Did she even have a right to ask for forgiveness after what she had done? At this point she really didn't think so. The things that she had said were inexcusable no matter how one tried to spin the situation. Purposely hurting her mother was an indefensible infraction which Rosalie had managed to accomplish better than anyone, yet Esme still tried to intervene on her behalf against Carlisle's brand of justice. A single tear broke free to glide down Rose's cheek as she felt herself engulfed by shame.

"Rose, you know that I will always forgive you, but right now...," Esme's voice broke and she turned away from her daughter.

"Rosalie." Carlisle's smooth voice was firm and exuded authority as he took hold of the situation. "As much as I don't wish to deny you the support of your siblings at this time, you need to think hard about what has happened here. I want you to go to the study and wait for me."

"Carlisle," Esme gasped in disbelief that her gentle husband would ignore her request so easily.

"Shhh, love. Rosalie and I need to have a talk; where this goes after that is mainly up to her. For now, I promise, she and I will just talk, but first," In a graceful motion he stood with his wife safely supported in his arms, "I need to get you out of here so you can relax a bit."

The herd at the door parted to allow their parents to pass through as they mumbled words of loving concern to their mother. Esme buried her face against her husband's chest again as she tried to block out the last several minutes of the evening.

"Daddy! Wait just a minute, please." Alice danced towards them and gently caressed her mother's arm. "Don't worry so much, momma. Rose is going to be perfectly fine...and so will you and daddy." Standing on her tip toes, she gave her mother a quick kiss before catching her father's eye and while smiling gave him a quick nod.

"Thank you, Angel and if you would, please pass along my thanks to Jazz for his assistance."

"Can do, Daddy."

The little pixie tripped back towards her mate with an airy happiness that seemed so out of place given the grievous circumstances. Carlisle shook his head, but allowed his trust in his daughter and her gift to lighten his heart ever so slightly as he ducked into his room.

Gently placing Esme on the bed, he crawled in beside her and hugged her tightly as if he feared that she would suddenly vanish.

"I'm afraid that the strain of the day has been too much for you, my love and I am the major cause of that." He whispered in her ear. "Tell me what I can do to make things right for you; for us."

"Don't spank Rosalie." Esme's eyes were closed as she fought with her inner turmoil. Her daughter's words had cut her deeply causing the voice of vengeance to demand that her daughter experience the same harsh pain, but the voice of reason would entertain no such thing. _No one should have to suffer through agony such as this; least of all one of my children._

Carlisle heaved a heavy sigh as he ran his fingers through her silky caramel colored hair. "Weren't you the one who just a few hours ago said that I don't abuse the children? That Rose is a strong woman who would never stand for abuse. That she is not someone to put up with mistreatment and yet willingly submits to me and my forms of discipline? I believe those were your words, my love, or very close to them. Has something changed that I am unaware of?"

Esme glanced at her husband then pushed him away as the logic of his argument began to make her uncomfortable. Yes, that had been what she had said when he was in his fragile state and the words were true, but that was before...

"I had to stop myself from slapping Rose."

Carlisle could feel the sadness in his wife's voice. He wanted to hold her, support her; to tell her that it was alright, but something stopped him. There was more that she needed to say so he patiently waited for her to continue with nothing but love showing in his eyes.

Esme swallowed and sighed as she closed her eyes while struggling with the memory. "She...she said that I learned it from Charles. She said that I am more lenient with the boys than I am with her and Alice; that they are only good for 'slapping around'." When she opened her eyes they pleaded with Carlisle to disagree with Rosalie's assertion. Before he had a chance to take a breath to respond she voiced her concerns, "Is that true, Carlisle? I need to hear the truth, so don't try to protect me with your diplomacy and tell me what you think I want to hear. Do I treat the children differently?"

"Yes, Esme. You treat our children differently." As he registered the look of shocked horror on her face he smiled gently. "You treat them differently because they are all individuals who respond differently and who have different needs. I would say you are more lenient with Edward than say...Emmett. Edward can be overly sensitive and needs a lighter touch than Em who views everything in life as a challenge to be conquered. Rose is head strong and will buck authority while Jasper readily submits to those who he views as his superiors. Alice tends to hold onto the big picture since she sees the outcome of her actions and just goes with the flow. Even if you compare Edward and Jasper who are both fairly easy and quite sensitive in their own ways, you have a world of difference. Edward would be devastated if I had to correct him the way I did Jasper tonight, but Jasper would not have accepted anything milder for his misbehavior and mistreatment of you. They are all very different so you make allowances for those differences. "

Carlisle gently caressed Esme's face while he prayed that she would understand and come to the correct conclusion. He knew his mate well enough not to take the easiest route. Had he answered her question with a simple 'no' she would have not believed him, thinking that he only said that to spare her feelings. With Esme, he had to find ways of explaining that would allow her to answer her questions for herself instead of expecting her to accept his point of view.

"That is not a bad thing, love." He traced her soft lips with his finger as he gazed lovingly into her eyes. "Now, what you really want to know is do I find that you are unfair to our girls? No, my darling, I don't see that at all. You make allowances for all of the children; many more than I would. Rose's mouth alone would have earned her a few good whacks to the backside from me when we walked in the house, but you took a much more lenient approach; but which of our children's behavior was deemed poor enough to earn a bit of correction at your hand?" He grinned as he brushed a lock of hair from her face. "That would have been your baby bear. You were reluctant to take Kitty in hand, but didn't seem to think twice about firmly reprimanding Em. I don't know about you, but I would say that disproves Rosalie's argument rather nicely. It doesn't matter who is in the wrong, what matters is the seriousness of their transgression. That's what decides the action taken, as it should, sweetheart. That is fair and thereby so are you."

Esme sighed. She was clearly still extremely anxious, but some of the weight had slipped from her shoulders as she absorbed her mate's words, finding his reasoning sound. Scooting over closer to him, she accepted his love as it enveloped her and valiantly kept the negativity at bay. As his strong arms wrapped around her she whispered, "So there is no hope for exoneration?"

"Hmm." He sighed slightly as he rubbed her back to ease the tension in her body. "I can't help but feel that would be a bad idea. Rose's behavior was hurtful, disrespectful and completely uncalled for. What sort of precedent would that set with the rest of the children if I simply let it go?"

His wife buried her face against his neck as she continued to try to think of a way to help her daughter. "I can't imagine anyone following in Rose's footsteps. Besides, it wasn't like she challenged your authority."

"She challenged yours, sweetheart. That is the same thing. In fact, I find that more reprehensible considering how much you do for all of the members of this family. Rose was malicious. She said that she meant to hurt you so it is not as if she was unaware of her actions. She is also well aware of the repercussions of those actions, but decided to act anyway." He kissed her gently then pulled back to look into her bright amber eyes. "I am sorry, love, but I just can't let that go without some form of recompense."

Carlisle could see Esme mentally digging her heels in as her mind churned. She was not going to make this easy for him at all.

"Carlisle, don't you think she is already repentant enough? If she regrets what she has done, if she is already contrite, what is the point of punishing her? Don't you think that is just a little bit of overkill?"

"Punishment wasn't overkill for Jasper and he was most certainly contrite."

"You just said that the children are treated differently because they have different needs. Jasper needed to atone, but Rose is a different creature."

"How do you know that, love? Guilt could be, should be, eating away at her right now. Would it not be unfair to deny her absolution? How do you know that Rose doesn't feel a need to atone for her sins?"

"Because she is Rosalie."

Carlisle growled softly in frustration at his wife's simple explanation then sighed inwardly. "Alright, I'll make a bargain with you. We will let Rose decide. I'm going to go talk to her." He saw Esme tense at his quiet words. "We are just going to talk. I've already made that promise to you and I mean to keep it. At the end of our conversation, if I feel that she is truly penitent I will pardon her misbehavior to the extent that I feel is just; only this one time, mind you. If I do this and there is ever a repeat of today, God have mercy on her because I will not. Will this suffice?"

"And if you don't find her penitent?"

"She will be after."

* * *

Esme had still been a hard sell, but eventually she agreed with Carlisle's plan. He hoped that this semi compromise would keep the peace and allow him and his wife to maintain a united front when dealing with the children and their occasional bouts of rowdiness. He often thought about how much easier things would have been had his children been just a little bit older when the change had been made. Now as perpetual teens they were prone to the moodiness, argumentativeness and general rebelliousness that typified that age group. How many times did he have to say it before it got through to them all? He wanted to treat them as adults, but they needed to act like adults to earn that privilege.

The patriarch slowly walked down the hall towards the study and his waiting daughter, regretting having put himself in this position. It would have been easier to have conceded to his wife's wishes to let the girl's behavior go unchecked, but he couldn't in good conscious do that. With any luck, Esme would be proven right and Rosalie would not need correction. If there was any a time that Carlisle wished to be proven wrong, this would be it.

As he approached the door a soft cough behind him caught his attention.

"Jasper, this really isn't the time."

"I beg your pardon papa, but this is most certainly the time." He glanced at the door and with a tip of his head added, "Maybe not the place, but still the time."

Carlisle saw his son shudder quite suddenly then felt himself washed in the calmness that the boy projected. He felt certain that had been for Rosalie's benefit, as it apparently was her trepidation that Jasper was experiencing.

Stepping away from the study door Carlisle beckoned his son to follow. Stopping a little ways down the hall, he turned to Jasper. In a voice that was just barely a hushed whisper he spoke, "What is it son? Please make it fast because I really want to get this unpleasantness all over with as quickly as possible."

Jasper pulled himself up to attention, taking the stance that he had been taught to use so long ago when it came to addressing a source of authority. "Sir, with all due respect I felt the need to make mention of something you said earlier."

Carlisle crossed his arms with a silent sigh. "At ease, solider." His command was rewarded by a shift in Jasper's stance, yet the boy seemed just a rigid as before. "Go on, son. What is it that you want to say?"

"Well, Sir, my Alice and I were talking. She said that it appeared you hadn't decided on Rose's fate which got me to thinkin' that I might be able to help. Not to buck your authority Papa, but if you recall you mentioned that guilt is a powerful teacher."

"Yes son, I did say that."

"Sir, guilt is the strongest emotion coming off of Rosalie right about now. She is struggling with just a hellacious amount. I don't see how she could be feeling any worse. I know you will do what is right, but I thought it was only proper for you to know what she is putting herself through. Far be it for me to stand in the way of Rose getting' what she is due, however in all fairness…well, Sir, I believe that guilt has already taught her the lesson that your hand normally would."

Carlisle stood silent and unmoving for several seconds before his countenance began to darken.

_Oh Holy shit, what did I say wrong?_ Jasper swallowed back the venom that his nerves suddenly caused to pool in his mouth.

"Major Jasper Whitlock, SIR, how dare you come before me like this," Carlisle barked in a moderately raised voice. "Is this how you address your superiors?"

Jasper's eyes grew wide, but he stayed frozen unsure of what to make of his father's stern rebuke. "Ah am mighty sorry, Sir. Ah meant no disrespect. Just thought you ought ta know, but ah am only too willin' ta keep my future thoughts ta myself."

Carlisle's eyes softened before the smile crept across his face. Reaching out he clasped a hand behind Jasper's neck and pulled the boy towards him. Giving him a hug, he quickly released him with a pat on the shoulder. "Thank you for sharing your thoughts, son. They are most valuable."

Confusion clouded Jasper's eyes. "Ah…ah don't understand…"

Carlisle grinned. "Jasper, do you make a habit of running around the house half clothed?"

"Oh, that. Well, um… well no, Sir but… you see pants are not right friendly ta me just 'bout now."

"Are you planning on walking around like that?"

Jasper knew it was impossible, but his cheeks felt flushed with the heat of embarrassment. "Nah, Sir. Ah am bunkin' in my room for da night. Alice and ah were interrupted earlier and um…"

A smirk curled Carlisle's lips. "Then Major, I suggest that you get back to it. A man should never leave a job half way done."

"Ah…um…ah…Yes, Sir."

Carlisle laughed as Jasper vanished in a blink of an eye. He would never understand why his children had such a hard time discussing sex with him. He was a doctor after all so there was not much he hadn't seen. No matter how many times he tried to ease their concerns with the basic explanation that it was a normal biological drive and nothing to be embarrassed about, they still responded the same way. Of course, if Carlisle was being honest with himself he had to admit that he delighted in teasing them. Maybe having teenagers permanently around wasn't such a bad thing after all.

With a shake of his head, he walked back to the study door and knocked softly.

"Come in, father. I have certainly been expecting you."

Stepping inside he glanced at Rose sitting stiffly in the leather chair in front of his desk. Her hands fidgeted in her lap as she kept her eyes focused on the carpeting.

Squaring his shoulders, Carlisle inhaled deeply then slowly released the air as he mentally relaxed himself. Walking towards his desk he leaned against the front edge and looked down at his dignified daughter whose body language was more akin to someone on death row. Carlisle crossed his arms as he quietly sighed. "What should I do with you, Kitty?"

When no response was forthcoming, he reached out and tipped her head up. "I want you to tell me what happened."

"I don't want to. Can't you just punish me and be done?"

Her sharp dismissive tone contradicted her body language. Carlisle sighed as he reminded himself that this was the defense mechanism of his clearly apprehensive child and nothing more. "No, Rosalie. I promised your mother that I would allow you to explain yourself. Please don't be belligerent with me. You predicament is grave enough without adding to it."

"Carlisle, I have already told you what happened. Mom came in to talk to me. I told her off. She tried again and I told her off again. Eventually I had some really choice words for her that pushed every button mom has causing her to breakdown. That was really not my intention, but as said, I was trying to hurt her. I knew that what I was doing was wrong at the time, but I held to my course regardless. There is really nothing more to explain."

Rose was tenser than her father had ever seen her. Her jaw was tight and her body fidgeted with nervous energy. Given the opportunity, there wasn't a doubt in his mind that she would run. Denied that, her body instinctively was ready to fight, but Rosalie was much too smart to even consider that as an option.

"Why did you feel the need to hurt your mother, baby? You have admitted this several times, but have yet to explain why."

His daughter simply shook her head. "I don't have a reasonable explanation. Mom left me in charge and I failed to live up to her expectations. That made me angry. I was angry with Em and Edward, but I was also angry with myself for having failed. I... well no one likes to fail. I suppose I was feeling hurt and blamed Mom for putting me in the position to be hurt, so I wanted to give it back to her. I had an irrational need to make her hurt as much as I was hurting right then. I know it doesn't make sense, but..."

Carlisle rubbed the back of his neck in an attempt to release some tension. "Actually it does make sense, Rose, however that is a very childish mentality. It is quite unlike you to behave this way."

"Cumulative effect of the events of the day?" She shrugged as she offered her only defense.

"A poor explanation in all, but we'll let it stand as such for now since today's events have been extremely stressful." Rosalie seemed to relax slightly at his acceptance, appearing grateful that he wouldn't press her harder. Carlisle would have preferred to keep her in a more comfortable state, but knew his next question would be even harder for his baby to answer. "Rosalie, I know that your mother nearly struck you. That is so far out of character for her I can only imagine how powerful the catalyst must have been. What did you do to cause such a reaction?"

His daughter quickly averted her eyes. "Please, don't make me answer that."

"Kitty, I need to know so I can understand all of what transpired. I want to understand, but you have to help me out here for me to be able to do so."

Rose's proud head drooped as her agitation increased. "Mom told me that she wanted to talk, to work things out, and I told her... I told her to fuck off."

"Hmm." A muscle in Carlisle's jaw twitched as he dropped his head to prevent his daughter from seeing the irritation that he was experiencing as it reflected in his features. He rubbed his forehead in frustration then shoved his hands deep in his pockets to keep them contained.

"I told you that I didn't want to repeat it."

"Okay Kitty, let's get something straight right now. I am done with this particular habit of yours. Your mother and I have let a lot of things go which appears to have been a mistake, but I have had enough of this vulgarity."

"It's common language that allows us to blend in better with the humans," she answered a bit too flippantly for Carlisle's taste.

He glanced up at Rose then looked away once she registered just how serious he was. "Common would certainly be the correct term. I expect better of my children. I know that you can conduct yourselves as ladies and gentlemen and still blend in. There are no excuses for such crassness. Then to take such a tone with your mother… Rosalie Lillian Hale, do I even need to tell you how appalling that is?"

"Daddy, it was a mistake that I will never repeat."

Carlisle looked back at his daughter staring deeply into her eyes. She appeared to be sincere. Giving her a slight nod he spoke with complete seriousness, "Rosalie, with your enhanced senses the acrid flavor of soap will be exceedingly unpleasant. If I hear a single coarse word uttered from your lips you will find out just how bad that can be. Am I making myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir," she whispered as she turned away from his piercing gaze.

He closed his eyes as his teeth ground in annoyance. Finally Carlisle reclaimed enough calm to draw a deep breath that allowed him to proceed with his inquiry. "Your mother raised her hand to you and that is when you brought up Charles?"

"Mhm." Rose's eyes suddenly filled with venom at the memory of the horrible things she had said. "I told mom that she treated the boys better than me. I said that she learned how to treat her daughters by following Charles's lead. That's where she got the idea that I feared being abused. It was all my fault, Daddy and I can never make that up to her." She wiped away the stray tear that had managed to escape in spite of her stubborn attempts to refuse their release, then turned her gaze to her father. "Daddy, I will do anything, anything at all to make this up to momma. Please help me find a way to do that because I am completely out of my realm."

Carlisle grew still as he stood there considering his daughter in quiet reflection. He held out a hand to her and pulled Rose to her feet. "Kitty, amends will be made on your mother's terms, but if you keep to your word to not act like this again that will go a long way to repairing the damage. Esme has never done anything that warrants the behavior you showed her this evening. Her love for you is unwavering; I feel that your respect for her should be just as constant. I expect you to conduct yourself in more befitting manner from here on out." His hand lightly brushed her cheek as the sternness in his eyes began to soften. "You made a mistake, Rose. I expect you to learn the lessons it offers you and move on. If you can manage to do that you will be a better person for having gone through this ordeal and your mother's suffering will not have been in vain."

Rosalie nodded as she accepted her father's mild chiding before she swallowed hard to clear her throat to speak. "I'm ready, Daddy. I know that I earned this and I can't see any point in putting it off any longer."

Carlisle nodded as he took her hand in his and led her over towards the loveseat against the wall. Sitting down he directed her to stand before him. "Kitty, this will never happen again, correct?"

"Yes, Sir."

"You will keep that attitude in check?"

She nodded as her body began to tremble.

"You promise that you're going to keep your language on a short leash from here on out?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"That's my good girl." He eased her down and guided her over his lap. Without another word or warning his hand crashed down on her backside causing Rosalie to hiss as the sting of the blow bloomed across her tender flesh. She gritted her teeth as she waited for the next blow, but suddenly found herself lifted upright and being cuddled in her father's arms. Carlisle brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. "Don't make me regret this, Kitty. Should you go back on your word and find yourself in this position again you can trust that you will not be sitting for quite some time."

Rose blinked in confusion as she gazed into her father's eyes. "I don't understand, Daddy. This isn't supposed…"

"What your actions deserve, Kitty is not always what you get and you can thank your mother for your ability to sit right now. She argued your case very strongly and after talking with you, I can see that she was correct in her summation."

His daughter shook her head. "No, Daddy. I already told you and momma both that I have never thought that I was being abused. She didn't need to worry about that. I just said those things out of spite."

Carlisle sighed as he tucked a strand of golden hair behind her ear. "I know, baby. That was not the argument made in your favor. I wouldn't have folded to that, believe me." He shifted her in his lap slightly to more easily meet her eyes. "Your mother felt that you were already feeling remorseful for your actions and that the level of that emotion was punishment enough. I honestly wasn't convinced, but then I received a little additional information and after talking with you I was inclined to agree."

Rosalie bowed her head and thought for a few seconds before wrapping her arms around Carlisle's neck as she finally granted her tears freedom to express her sorrow and gratitude for her parents' mercy.

"Shh." Carlisle rubbed her back gently as he offered his daughter the comfort of his unconditional love and acceptance. "You are going to be okay, Kitty. Shh. It's alright." He held her close while her system purged itself of the dreaded burden of guilt. Once her tears had tampered off yet while she still clung to him sniffling quietly, Carlisle gently spoke, "Rosalie, I'm sorry to say that I still feel that some punishment is required for your actions. You are on restriction for the next two weeks. I will expect you to be pleasant and help your mother around the house. If I see any sullen attitude from you where your mother is concerned you can count on finding yourself turned over my knee in very short order."

Rose nodded as he continued to lay out the terms of her incarceration.

"School, hunting and home is all that will be allowed these two weeks. I am going to trust you enough not to make your hunts supervised, but again don't cause me to regret this decision, young lady." Carlisle pulled her away and dipped his head to look into her eyes. "Finally, I want you to go to your room, sit down at your desk and write out a heartfelt apology to your mother. She will appreciate that and I believe that will make you feel a bit better as well. When you are done, I would like for you to come find me so I may read it before you give it to your mother."

Rosalie tried to look away but Carlisle prevented her from doing so with a light touch. "Kitty, do you have any questions, concerns or objections to your punishment?"

His daughter shook her head before hesitantly whispering, "No, Daddy."

"Alright then," He kissed her cheek before lifting her gently from his lap and placing her on her feet. "Go get to work on that apology." He swatted her softly as he sent her on her way.

With the door quietly closing behind his daughter, Carlisle leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees while he cradled his head in his hands. Heaving a sigh of relief he ran his hands through his hair then leaned back resting his head against the smooth leather as he closed his eyes._ Dear Lord, please don't put me through another day like today. I know that you don't give me any more than I can bear, but I swear that I don't think this old vampire heart can handle another like this again anytime soon. _He needed to return to Esme and check on her, but Carlisle granted himself a few moments of meditative peace and quiet as he blocked out the trials and tribulations to firmly shut the door on this hellish day.

* * *

**AN:** *passes out* I am right in there with Carlisle. This has been one helluva day at the Cullen house. Glad that one is over. Thank God for Jasper, the pantless wonder. Without his diversion I'm not sure that I would have made it. No, sorry guys, the story still isn't quite over. I'm going to be moving forward a couple of days with the focus shifting to Carlisle and Esme. Hopefully, we will finally get a little romance in there for the parents once they work through a couple more things.

Thank you all for taking the time to read and review. Since views as to what to do with Rose were fairly evenly split I went with a bit of a compromise. Kitty did land on her feet, but at least her claws did get clipped.

Thanks to Splinter for her beta-ing (is that even a word? Well it should be.) assistance and thanks to everyone for all your support. Y'all rock my little world.


	17. One Man's Redemption

After a long day at work, Carlisle relaxed in the quiet comfort of his study. Pushing the medical journal aside, he leaned back and rubbed his eyes to stave off the thoughts that continued to interrupt those rare moments that his mind fell silent. It had been several days since his and Jasper's "episode" and he knew that logically he should have been able to have put it all behind them by now, but the patriarch was still troubled by the events. Over his long life, Carlisle had become something of an expert at letting past events die, but the severity of the conflict still disturbed him as it latched onto his spirit like an emotional leech draining away his contentment.

He sighed softly as he raked his hand unconsciously through his hair. If only there was some way to eradicate the memories of that day and with them the noxious emotions that they dredged up, Carlisle would have embraced it in a heartbeat. Regrettably a vampire's memory was infallible causing him to be forced into continually enduring the deep remorse that his actions caused.

The sounds of laughter drew his attention towards the window. Carlisle stood up from his desk and stretched the muscles of his back and neck before wandering over to the expanse of glass that formed the outside wall of his study. Looking out into the yard, he watched his children enjoying the brisk autumn afternoon. Rosalie and Alice were sitting on the grass near Esme's garden apparently discussing Alice's recent shopping venture. Carlisle shook his head and smiled while groaning slightly at the thought of his next credit card bill. Surely a new belt for Jasper had found its way into her collection of bargains. The memory of seeing Alice walk past him with Jasper's old belt trapped between her thumb and index finger held at out arm's length as she headed towards the trash still caused him to laugh lightly. There was no way that he would be using that implement on his son again; his little girl had seen to that.

Jasper and Emmett were locked in a wrestling match as Edward leaned against a tree laughing at the antics of his brothers. As their father looked on, Em tossed Jasper through the air with a look of triumph on his face. That expression was soon wiped away as Carlisle's wheaten haired son landed lightly on his feet and charged his brawny brother while growling playfully. Both boys collapsed in a writhing, snarling and laughing heap with Jasper fighting to pin Emmett to the ground.

Carlisle chuckled at the sight of his carefree children. What he wouldn't give to change places with them for just a little while. Jasper's laughter acted as a healing balm for his father's suffering soul. There had been a little worry that his son would continue to ruminate over events, particularly the attack on his mother, but seeing him happy and playful laid Carlisle's concerns to rest. His family was indeed whole again; now it was just up to Carlisle to let go of the crippling remorse that plagued him and allow for his own healing to occur.

Too wrapped up in watching his sons to notice the soft footfalls, Carlisle was blissfully unaware of Esme's presence until her arms wrapped around him from behind. Taking her hand, he kissed it gently then pulled her around in front of him. With a smile, Esme kissed her husband's cheek before turning toward the window in search of his source of amusement. "What has caught your attention, handsome?"

"Just watching the children."

Esme's eyes narrowed slightly as warning growls, hissing and snarling reached her ears. "You don't think that they will hurt each other, do you?"

"No, love. They are just having fun and blowing off a little steam. Nothing to worry about at all." He shifted his focus to where his daughters sat animatedly chatting. "Has Rosalie been behaving herself?"

"Mhm. She always seems to be right there ready to help with anything I'm doing. She has been going well out of her way to make herself useful. While we were cleaning up the mess Emmett made trying to patch the wall, we had the chance to talk things out. I think that I was the cause of some of what happened, although I didn't realize it at the time. I forget what it's like to be a teenager. They shouldn't have to deal with stress, but they do and sometimes it gets to be a bit too much for them. It would appear that I added to Rosalie's burden that night when I should have been more conscious of her emotional state."

Carlisle caught Esme's face between his hands as he gazed lovingly into her eyes. "Then they need to speak up and let us know that they are struggling instead of acting out in inappropriate ways. That would make things easier on us all. And you, little miss, will not take the blame for that fiasco. Do I make myself clear?" Leaning in he kissed her as his passion for his mate flared, threatening to consume him.

Esme pushed him away as she giggled slyly. "Doctor Cullen, there you go again thinking only of yourself," she admonished lightheartedly. "We mustn't upset the children. What will poor Edward think if he hears us?"

"That I am the luckiest man in the world." He cocked an eyebrow as he reached for his wife only to have her dance away. Carlisle stalked her around the room as Esme kept just out of his reach, her joyous laughter filling the room as well as his soul, helping to displace the lingering pangs of guilt. "Come here my inamorata. You husband needs your touch more than your son needs to be sheltered."

"Tsk. Doctor, you know that a mother can't set aside her maternal instincts like that." She grinned at him as mischief gleamed in her eyes.

"Hm." Carlisle wandered back over towards the window and popped the latch. "Edward!"

His son looked up at him with a questioning expression as the rest of the children stilled in their actives also to turn their attention towards their father.

"Do your old man a favor and get the hell out of here, son."

It took a moment for Carlisle's first born to respond, but the sound of his mother's lyrical laughter was all it took to get him moving. "We were just talking about taking in a hunt anyway, Dad. We'll be gone for a couple of hours...at least."

"Woo hoo! Way to go, Pops! Need any pointers?" Emmett smirked as he wiggled his eyebrows, giving his father a thumbs up. "I can share some moves that will help you get momma's motor revving."

"I think I have this one just fine, but thanks Em."

Rosalie punched her mate hard in the shoulder as she hissed something to him much too quietly for Carlisle to hear and began to drag Emmett towards the woods. Turning back he shouted out, "If you say so Pops, but you know who to come to if you need any advice on getting wild and wicked. Rosie and I have got all those moves down. Happy to show you the ropes so you and mom can keep it real." The echo of a sharp slap resounded through the trees followed by an equally loud, "Ow, what did I say to deserve that?" as Emmett and the others disappeared from sight.

With a shake of his head, Carlisle turned his back to the window to find his beautiful mate sitting on his desk with her hand over her mouth attempting to suppress a fit of giggles.

"Oh, so you find it humorous that your son feels the need to teach me some of his tricks."

"There is nothing wrong in an old dog learning a new trick or two." She tilted her head as she smiled at her mate.

Carlisle closed the distance between them in several steps then rested his hands on the desk on either side of her as he leaned in, evading her personal space. "So, I am an old dog now, missy? Is that what you are saying?"

His enticing masculine scent and the coolness of his breath caused Esme to shiver with excitement. "Well, you are pushing three hundred seventy years, lover. If you figure that into the old rule of thumb for dog years that puts you somewhere in the range of two thousand six hundred. That would be not only an old dog, but an ancient one by anyone's standard. I'm surprised there are tricks left for you to learn let alone you having the physical ability to pull them off." Esme could not stop the smirk from forming on her lips as she giggled quietly.

Carlisle growled softly as he held her gaze. "You just keep digging that hole and see where it gets you, young lady. You should count yourself lucky that you aren't one of the children or that sexy little rump would be mine by now."

She wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him gently then deepened their kiss as her tongue found its way between his lips to ease over his teeth. Carlisle moaned as he reciprocated when her tongue teased his. Esme pulled away from him and whispered, "I already am yours to do with as you please, Carlisle. I always have been and always will be."

"Is that so?" He lifted his right hand and ran it up the back of her neck until his fingers laced themselves through her hair and closed tightly. With persistent yet gentle pressure he pulled her head back exposing the flawless pale skin of her throat. Esme offered no resistance as he kept his handhold while tracing the delicate curve of her neck with his lips. A low rumbling purr issued from deep within Esme's chest as she completely relaxed in response to his feather light kisses.

Glancing up into his wife's angelic face, Carlisle smiled before he dipped his head to catch the top button of her blouse between his teeth. With a swift bite he severed the threads that held the closure in place then with a slight cough he spat the offending object across the room. _Don't inhale after you bite, Carlisle. Choking yourself does not add to the seductive factor here. _He felt Esme's hands leave the back of his neck to tangle themselves in his thick silky blond hair, giving her some measure of control over his actions. One by one he snapped off the buttons until they lay scattered around the room leaving her blouse to fall open at will. Carlisle released his grip in his lover's hair and gently ran his hands beneath her blouse as he explored her body while he raised his head to claim her lips once again.

Esme's hands slipped between their bodies as she made quick work of the buttons on her husband's shirt then smoothly pushed him back so she could slide the offending fabric from his frame. Nuzzling against his jaw she kissed him then grazed her teeth against his ear before whispering, "You are going to be sewing those buttons back on, Mister."

Carlisle chuckled as he slid her blouse down her arms and kissed the hollow of her throat. "I'll have Alice buy you a new one. I'm sure she won't mind and her shopping skills beat out my sewing any day."

"With all the stitching you do? Ha."

Esme moaned softly as her husband's lips found her nipple. When his tongue flicked the sensitive flesh her breath became rapid and shallow until it caught in her chest. She lightly drew her nails over Carlisle's back and shoulders as her body quivered in response to his attention. His thumb and fingers kept her other nipple occupied as his teeth applied gentle pressure to his original captive. Slowly Carlisle's free hand glided between her soft skin and the waistband of her slacks dipping between her legs, inciting a sudden squeal from Esme.

Carlisle released her and pulled up with a grin on his face as he gazed at his wife through half closed eyes. "Did you say something, my darling?" Amusement rang through his tone.

Esme shook her head as she caught her breath. Her palms ran over his muscular chest and down his stomach until her fingers curled in the waist band of his trousers allowing her to pull him firmly against the desk as her legs straddled his hips.

"Love, you still have entirely too many clothes on for that." He smiled brightly and kissed her cheek before pressing his hands against her shoulders to lay her down on the wide smooth wooden surface. A sheaf of papers was knocked off the edge where they escaped their binding and drifted like fallen leaves to scatter across the floor. Carlisle's focus on his wife was so intense that he paid no heed to the paperwork disaster that normally would have driven him crazy.

His kisses trailed across her body while her hands ran through his hair offering him unneeded encouragement. Esme's scent caused the venom in Carlisle's body to race, building up the pressure in his cock, inducing it to press painfully against the constricting fabric of his pants. His unadulterated need for her was agonizing. His animal nature howled for release, but Carlisle's control was unwavering when it came to his beautiful and vulnerable Esme.

Her words echoed in his mind as he provided her pleasure while restraining his own. _"__I already am yours to do with as you please, Carlisle." _It pleased him to give her the pleasure that she had been denied during her short human life with Charles. Charles had taught her fear and pain. He had exerted power over her as his wife and property while denying her the love she deserved; the very thought of which caused anger to rise like bile through Carlisle's system. While he was not given to violence, that was one man that Carlisle would have been only too happy to throttle within an inch of his life for the harm he had caused to this exquisite creature. For Carlisle there could be no greater gratification than seeing his beloved happily sated and content; woe to the person who would have it any other way.

"Carlisle, are you alright, love?"

He shook the dark thoughts from his head as he looked down at her with a tender smile on his face. "Why of course, sweetheart. How could I not be alright when I am with you?" He kissed her hip then ran his hands lightly along her sides bringing about another bout of wiggling squealing laughter as he tickled her before turning his attention back to the task at hand.

He knelt and slowly removed her shoes, but before he could stand Esme sat up and placed a foot on his shoulder gently forcing him to stay put. Cocking an eyebrow her face lit up with a wicked smile. "Hm, you look very fetching in that position, lover."

"Do I now? Is this one of those new tricks that you would like the old dog to learn?" He returned her smile as he tilted his head slightly while holding her smoky gaze.

"No. I don't think that's a trick you need in your arsenal, but it is still a very handsome sight."

"One for your eyes only, grá mo chroí. I would not kneel nor submit to anyone but my one true love; for you I would do or be anything you ask."

Esme removed her foot from his shoulder and extended her hand toward him. Taking it, he placed his lips softly on the back of her hand then returned to his feet, toeing off his shoes in the process. "I would never ask that of you, Carlisle. While I have no doubt that would be a most entertaining game of sorts, I much prefer that we be equals."

His eyes twinkled with mirth as he grinned at his loving wife. "As you wish, M'lady." Carlisle bowed only to have Esme cuff him lightly on the back of the head.

"Cut that out." Peals of laughter rang out as they enjoyed the humor of the moment.

A roguish expression came across Carlisle as he reached to unbutton Esme's slacks. "You know I find it way too warm in here to be burdened with clothes, love. Let me help make you more comfortable." Catching her hips in his strong hands, he easily lifted her off of the desk and onto her feet before kneeling down again to slowly slide her pants down her legs. She placed a hand on his shoulder to help keep her balance as she stepped out of the tangle of fabric. "Those have to go, too." He nodded towards the sheer panties that stood as the final barrier for him to eliminate.

Esme lightly slapped his hands away and pulled him to his feet. "No, sir. You will not have me naked while you are still clothed."

"Oh perish the thought." Carlisle rolled his eyes and grinned as Esme swiftly stripped her husband of his pants and boxers in one brisk movement. "Do I get to keep my socks?"

"I think not." She easily fell to her knees before him and rolled the black socks from his feet before refusing his hand to help her stand. "I rather like it down here, lover." She kissed his inner thigh causing him to shudder and groan as he closed his eyes while pleasure coursed through his body. "Seems that the shoe is on the other foot now." Taking his engorged cock in her hand she softly spoke as her cool breath wafted over his member, "Now Carlisle, I know we can do better than that." A light flick of her tongue drew a deep moan as he caught her hair in his hands to retain his balance.

"Esme," his breath was little more than a hoarse whisper.

"Mhm." She snaked her tongue around him forcing his breath to catch in his chest. Drawing him deeper towards the back of her throat she felt his body shiver harder as it instinctively responded to her manipulation. Soon she heard him gasp loudly before he pulled his cock from her mouth as his knees buckled bringing him down to the floor beside her. "See, I told you that it was better down here." She smirked as he responded with another throaty moan. "We could use a bearskin rug though. You will remember to talk to Em about that, won't you, sweetheart?" Esme giggled when Carlisle's only response was a quick nod while he struggled to regain his breath.

Carlisle whined quietly while his wife stroked him to full erection as he frantically tore the thin fabric of her panties free from her body to eliminate the last hurtle that stood between him and the sweet redemption only realized through his love's intimate embrace.

"I love you, Carlisle."

"I love you, Esme." He whispered as he kissed her while staring deeply into her eyes, her lithe body pinned lightly beneath him. "I would be lost without you. You are my soul's redeeming angel and will be until the end of time."

"Then it's a good thing that we have forever because I will never leave your side, my love." She brushed her hand gently against his cheek. "A very good thing indeed."

* * *

**AN: **Not the chapter I was planning on writing, but Carlisle had other ideas. Seems that he was weary of waiting for his turn at love so he made his own move and I couldn't do a thing but follow along. The funny thing is that even without conscious thought, this chapter did set somethings that I need to bring about the next chapter or two. Guess the characters really know what they are doing after all. LOL.

To those who are curious, as far as I know "grá mo chroí" means "love of my heart" in Irish Gaelic. This was a phrase of endearment that was taught to me by a pub owner and musician. If he taught me wrong, and that really wouldn't surprise me given his sense of humor, I apologize to my Irish readers. Feel free to correct me, guys. I really don't want to butcher the language. I decided to toss that in since Carlisle's heritage would be Irish and as well educated as he is, I figure he must know at least some Gaelic.

All my thanks for the wonderful feedback and support. Thanks to Splinter for continuing to put up with my mishaps and thanks to my fabulous support group. Y'all are simply awesome!

I think this one will wrap in another two...maybe three chapters so if anyone has any ideas that they would like to share towards giving my idle hands something else to do, please feel free to shoot me a pm. I have a few things in the works but am always searching for inspiration. ;-)


	18. If Only

Esme laid curled up in her husband's arms on the loveseat in his darkened study, the afternoon having given away to night some hours ago. Her back pressed against his strong broad chest as she entwined her fingers through his to hold his hand to her breast. Carlisle nipped her ear causing his mate to squeal before he slowly snaked his tongue down her neck and lightly kissed the new scar on her shoulder while they both relaxed in the afterglow of their love making.

"You do know that we really need to call the children home. We can't keep them away from the house all night," Esme whispered as she brought her husband's hand up to her lips.

Carlisle purred quietly as Esme's lips closed on his index finger as she suckled gently before pulling away and kissing his palm.

"Spending the night out in the woods might do them some good. Let them get back in touch with their wild sides. I know experiencing my animal nature has worked wonders for me." He growled as he deeply inhaled his mate's scent while pulling his hand free to allow it to wander down her body only to have her slap it away.

"Doctor Cullen, are you telling me that your lust has not yet been satiated?"

"Mrs. Cullen," he trilled softly in her ear. "You know that I can never get enough of my gorgeous wife. I could bed her twenty four hours a day and never be satisfied."

She mewled softly and pressed against his hand as it dipped between her legs stoking the fire within her back to life.

"I must say, Little Miss, I do enjoy seeing you get all worked up like this." He smiled as he deeply inhaled his mate's sweet scent, tasting her essence on the air filling his lungs.

Brushing her hair to the side he caught the nape of her neck in his teeth the moment that her orgasm peaked inducing a soft growl from his mate that faded off into a rumbling purr. Releasing his hold, he trailed kisses down her neck and across her shoulder before she managed to roll around in his arms to face him with half closed eyes.

Carlisle kissed her deeply as his tongue plunged into the softness of her mouth then pulled back slightly and murmured, "Still want to call the children home?"

She shook her head, but sighed. "No, but we have to. All good things must come to an end, my love."

"Nothing ever truly ends; it just gets postponed until a little later, lover." Carlisle kissed Esme again before reluctantly allowing her to slip from his arms. He propped himself up on an elbow while he watched his wife gather up her clothes that he had carelessly strewn about.

"You will fix this blouse, Mister."

Carlisle's warm laugh filled the room. "Already told you that is a job for Alice."

"I don't want a new one, Carlisle. I want to see your surgeon's hands putting things to right." Pulling on her pants she sauntered back over to him and kissed him tenderly before giving his cheek a light slap. "You broke it; you, Carlisle Cullen, are responsible for fixing it. You will kindly leave poor overworked Alice out of your messes." Esme took his hand in hers turning it palm side up and, placing the buttons in it, rolled his fingers closed over them. "Be sure not to lose any. These aren't very easy to match." Giving him a wink, she gently raked her fingers through his hair then stepped away.

"Alright. Alright. I'll sew the buttons back on before work tomorrow. I promise." Dragging himself up from the small couch, Carlisle located his slacks and slipped them on before he padded quietly towards the window. Motion near the tree line easily drew his attention. "You know, sometimes Alice's ability is a little disconcerting. I'm not sure how I feel about her actually seeing what goes on all the time."

Esme glanced towards her husband still bare chested standing in a puddle of moonlight as it streamed in through the glass pane. A contented purr rolled up her throat as she studied him with the pale light illuminating his fair features. She never tired of marveling at her mate who, with all his quirks and flaws, could never be less than perfect in her eyes.

"At least Alice is discreet. Imagine if it were Emmett who had her gift."

Carlisle turned towards Esme horror stricken at the very thought. "Bite your tongue, woman. I don't believe any of us would be able to survive that."

Esme giggled as she slid up next to her mate and kissed his cheek. "That's why it doesn't bother me that Alice is the one who knows all." She watched as her children crossed the yard heading towards the house paired off with the exception of Edward. "I do hope Edward finds someone soon. I feel so sorry for him. He always seems a little melancholy, but I guess at least part of that may be from his tortured artist's spirit."

"When the time is right his mate will find him. There is someone for everyone, but these things can't be rushed and since we mate for life... well he needs to make sure he takes his time to find his true soul mate."

She nodded, her eyes never leaving her slender bronze haired son. "The soul mate to a being who believes he lacks a soul."

"She will be his soul." Carlisle gazed down at Esme as he moved slightly behind her and wrapped her in his arms. "Just as you are mine."

Esme smiled as she enjoyed the warmth and security of her lover's embrace for a few moments before patting his arm gently to encourage him to release her. "I'm going to go take a quick shower before heading down stairs. Care to join me?"

"I would, but I don't believe the children would be very happy about that." He grinned as his eyes twinkled mischievously.

"I meant join me downstairs." She rolled her eyes as she laughed at his silliness.

"Sure you did." He quirked an eyebrow then bent down to kiss Esme's forehead. "Go on and I'll be down in a few minutes. I need to get things picked up first."

Esme glanced at the papers scattered all around before she groaned slightly. "I'll give you a hand with that?"

Carlisle simply shook his head. "You'll do no such thing. I have it, love. Go on and take your shower. Besides, keeping my hands busy in here might insure your safety in there for just a little bit. If I don't have some occupation, I would say that you would be in trouble because the idea of joining you in the shower is becoming more tempting by the second."

"And you wondered why I designed the bathroom with such a large shower to begin with." His wife laughed as she slipped away and walk to the door. "I have no worries about being safe; it's the children's sensibilities that are more of a concern." With a light giggle she disappeared into the hall.

"You think far too much about our children's sensibilities," Carlisle called after her as he began to gather his clothing and scattered paperwork.

"It's so nice to know that at least somebody thinks about us," came Edward's voice from downstairs bringing a smile to Carlisle's face. As he settled down at his desk to reorganize his patient reports a reoccurring foreboding tugged at his soul. He had managed to keep it at bay when surrounded by his family, yet once he was alone with his thoughts it continually returned with a vengeance; the plaguing thoughts of 'what if.'

With a quiet sigh, Carlisle closed his eyes and leaned his head back while he listened to the sounds of life downstairs as he reflected on just how different things might have been right now had Esme not been able to muzzle his beast. How would he have even been able to go on with the death of his son hanging over his head had the worst happen? He would have lost his children for certain and possibly his mate. Their enduring ability to trust him so freely even now was a curiosity to Carlisle considering that he still wasn't completely comfortable with the idea that he could trust himself.

He rubbed his eyes then slowly opened them and flicked on his antique desk lamp, hoping the soft glow would drive back his demons of self-hatred, but instead the nagging voices simply grew bolder. He had wanted to... no, he had needed to make amends with Jasper; instead he caused his son more pain in the name of justice. He should have had to beg for Alice's forgiveness for what he had done to her mate. Instead, his ever caring daughter had not only appeared to overlook his sin, but had seen fit to show concern for his own wretched state; seemingly placing his wellbeing above that of her mate's. He deserved her fury, even hatred, but in the place of such righteous emotions she had offered sympathy, acceptance and love.

Carlisle shook his head as he reached around in a bottom drawer of his desk to find a clip to secure his reports. Here he was trying to teach his offspring compassion when perhaps he should have been taking notes from them all along. As his sensitive fingers closed around the elusive clip, they brushed against another long forgotten object tucked safely away from sight. A curious expression formed on Carlisle's face as his mind drifted back to the time when Emmett had given it to him. The suggestions that his boy shared with him had slightly shocked him at the time and he quickly dismissed the idea, but perhaps his view had been too narrow leading him to dismiss the value far too hastily.

Grasping the rubber handle he carefully pulled it from the draw and turned it over in his hands. In truth it seemed innocent enough, but he knew what it could do in skilled hands. The leather had stiffened slightly from neglect though it would take very little to remedy that oversight. Carlisle rolled it around in his hands again before a chill raced the length of his spine. He couldn't believe he was actually considering this. His helpmate was the only one he could confide in; the only one to whom he could bare his soul to ask for help in seeking forgiveness for his sin, but did he have the courage to ask? How would she respond? Would she think that he had gone mad or view the idea as preposterous as it had first seemed to him? Would she laugh at the ridiculousness of it all or be insulted that he would even dare to bring something like this up to one who had suffered so in her past?

Carlisle exhaled slowly as he flicked the wide leather tip with his finger. Perhaps it was pointless anyway. Maybe it was divine will that he was to suffer the guilt of his transgression until such time as it naturally abated. Hadn't he just recently broached that same topic with his son? What if he had more to learn through his suffering which is what kept atonement just out of his reach? Then again, what if he was meant to come across this tool of possible penance because he was finally being granted the absolution he so desperately desired?

"Carlisle, have you changed your mind about joining me downstairs?"

Esme's voice startled him out of his reflection. Swiftly he rolled the crop into the uppermost drawer and out of sight feeling slightly embarrassed as he stepped away from the desk. Why did he suddenly feel like a naughty child caught doing something that he shouldn't have been? Coughing softly to mask his uneasiness he looked up to meet Esme's shimmering golden gaze. "I'm sorry, dear. What was that? I was a bit distracted."

"I see that you haven't dressed, though don't take that as a complaint in any form." She reached out to lightly drag her nails over his chest as she purred softly enough that only he could hear. "It did, however make me wonder if you had decided against coming downstairs to spend some time with the children and I. Alice is picking out some movies as we speak. If you would like to have a voice in the matter, I believe we should hurry."

Carlisle exhaled quietly as he felt himself relax. "Just let me go run and grab a shirt. I'll be right down, sweetheart."

Esme cocked her head and gave her mate a puzzled look. "Is something bothering you, Carlisle?"

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her lips gently. "Sometimes I believe you know me too well." He pulled back and gave her a sad smile. "I just have some things to think about. It really isn't anything to worry with."

"Are you sure? I am a good listener."

He nodded. "I know you are, but this is something that I have to decide on my own. When I do you will be the only one I'll talk to." He hugged her tightly, briefly granting himself the luxury of a bit of reprieve from his troubles before walking her towards the door. "Go save us a spot on the couch and tell Alice to dig out 'The Sting' for me. I think I'm in the mood for a little Newman and Redford tonight."

"Alright, but don't be long. You know how restless the natives can get when you keep them waiting." Kissing her mate one last time Esme headed down the hall and out of sight.

Carlisle closed his eyes as he listened to her faint footfalls on the stairs then turned towards their bedroom with a sigh. _My cherished beloved, what will you say if I ask you to do this for me?_ _Will you be angry that I forced this decision upon you? Will you think less of me for not being able to deal this on my own? _Pinching the bridge of his nose he blocked his thoughts to the best of his ability to shift his focus on just enjoying the evening with his family. There would still be time to ruminate later and if he was lucky enough he might find a better way to overcome his guilt, leaving Esme none the wiser of his foolish notion. _If only._

* * *

**AN:** Yes, many had guessed correctly some time back that this was where I was going. If Carlisle has faith in the value of corporal punishment to alleviate the stress of guilt, wouldn't he logically make that leap once he felt that he had no other option in conquering his own guilt? Convincing Esme may be a bit more of a challenge though. She will not want to cause Carlisle pain and to try to convince her to do so this soon after Rosalie's upsetting outburst... Well, I have to think that Carlisle has his work cut out for him, if this really is the absolution that he feels he needs.

caughtforCarlisle's crop in "Breaking the Rules" was what inspired me to write this and she was kind enough to loan it to me. Of course while I was able to keep the fact that Emmett was the one that gave it to Carlisle, the time line gets a bit wonky since I am per-Twilight and her story deals with Edward and Bella's misdeeds. Oh well, just a bit of artistic license there.

Many thanks for all the wonderful ongoing support. Y'all make everything worthwhile.

My thanks, of course, to Splinter for her hard work at catching my mistakes and keeping me from looking too much like an idiot. ;-)


	19. Finding Courage

As the haunting musical score and closing credits of the movie began to run, Carlisle made up his mind. He knew all along that he would have to ask Esme to do this for him, but finding the courage to speak the words was still extremely difficult. He felt uncharacteristically nervous at the prospect which had a least one of his children on his guard. Carlisle had noticed the glances that he received from Jasper over the course of the evening and continually tried to mask his emotions, but to no real avail. The unflappable patriarch who had always been the picture of grace under pressure simply could not keep his jittering nerves in check.

_Carlisle Cullen, you must be insane to even think such a thing, let alone ask this of your softhearted gentle mate. What if she can't emotionally handle the stress of what you are suggesting? What if you can't deal with it yourself? Once you set your feet on this path there is no turning back. You have to see it through. Are you really ready for that?_

"So, what do we want to watch now?" Alice bounced over toward the DVD player and popped the movie out before rifling through the stack of movies.

"I vote for _Dread_," Jasper suggested to his mate a bit distractedly as he eyed his father with uncertainty. _What is making you so jumpy, Carlisle?_

"Oh hells to the no. Put on _Immortals_. Some Greek Gods and sword play action is way more cool than that weak ass horror shit."

"Emmett. Language," Carlisle quietly reprimanded as he ran his fingers through Esme's hair while she snuggled against him on the couch.

Carlisle's massive son gave his father an apologetic smile then ducked his head in slight embarrassment.

"How about _A Warrior's Heart_?" Alice's tone was hopeful, but the expression on Rosalie's face crushed that idea.

"Not that lacrosse movie. Surely you have something with a bit more of a dramatic flair. How about _Cherry_ _Crush_?"

Alice crossed her arms as she huffed at her sister. "Just no. No femme fatales tonight and what do you have against lacrosse? It's an exciting sport. Have you even seen the movie? I know that you would like the lead actor. He's hot as hell."

"Lovebug." Jasper drew his frustrated mate's attention. "I don't think the current mood is up to handling that coming of age teen drama thang. We have had quite enough angst of our own for the time being."

"Oh, and what in the hell do you call _Dread_? If that crap isn't angst, I don't know what is," Emmett challenged.

Esme reached up and stroked her husband's cheek as she heard him sigh. "At least it's no longer a weak ass shit movie," she whispered with a twinkle in her eye that brought a slight smile to Carlisle's face.

"It's a psychological horror thriller, Emmett; not that I expect you to understand that."

"_Harry Potter_ it is," Alice chirped while slipping the disc into the player as her siblings moaned in unison. "What? They are good movies and there is none of this fighting surrounding them, so there. We are supposed to be having a nice relaxing time, guys. What's more relaxing than Harry Potter?"

"_Nightmare on Elm Street_?" Emmett tried in desperation.

"Nope. Not relaxing; besides are we talking about the original or that new sucky one?" Alice questioned as she hopped back up to rejoin her love in the overstuffed armchair.

"It didn't suck, Alice. The new one actually gave you more background story. It was good."

"Did it have Robert Englund in it?" The little dark haired pixie tilted her head as she eyed her brother.

"Well… no."

"Then it sucked. There is never any reason to mess with perfection and the original was perfect."

"Whatever." Emmy snorted in disgust as he draped his arm over his mate's shoulders.

"Em, please just sit back and enjoy the movie," Esme quietly suggested. "We'll watch your movie next time."

With the film started and his children settling, Carlisle sighed softly then he steeled his nerves. Hugging his wife closer to his chest, he whispered in her ear, "Esme, there is something that I need to talk to you about."

"Carlisle, may I see you in the kitchen for a moment?"

The abrupt voice caused the doctor to look up and find an extremely anxious Edward staring back at him. "Of course, son." Kissing his mate's cheek, he eased her from his lap and excused himself before following his first born out of the room.

Once they were safely alone Edward turned towards his father and hissed quietly, "Are you crazy?"

Taken back by his son's tone, Carlisle found himself struck speechless.

"With all due respect, Dad, you have got to be out of your fucking mind to ask her to do that? I can understand why you think that this is what you need, but have you given any idea as to how it is going to affect Esme?"

Releasing a held breath Carlisle replied sharply in a whisper, "Of course I have, Edward. Do you think this was an easy decision for me? Since you feel the need to be in my head uninvited you should already know that I've been struggling with this. I have run through every option I can think of. It is either ask this of my wife or continue to suffer. Put yourself in my place. Which would you choose?"

"I would suffer before I would ever put my mate through that sort of mental anguish. You can't do that to her. Look if this is what you really want, I'll ..."

"NO!" Carlisle snarled as he bowed up at his son. "Remember your place, Edward and let me remind you that it is neither equal to nor above me." His eyes instantly turned black as a growl rolled in his chest. Stiffly he took a step towards his son as he stretched his body it his full height. "I am the leader of this coven. I have put forth the energy to build and maintain it. I am your sire, boy and you **will** show me the respect that I am due."

The elder's aggressive posturing caused Edward to lower his eyes immediately and drop to his knee at his father's feet. Quietly he whimpered then closed his eyes as he raised his head to expose his vulnerable throat to Carlisle in an act of utter submission.

With a voice that barely qualified as a whisper, Edward spoke. "Father, please forgive my insolence. Believe me, I never intended to assume a position of power. I was only trying to offer my assistance as your son. Disrespect was never my intention. All I want to do is help."

Carlisle balled his hands into tight fists as his dark gaze roved over his son while he continued to growl dangerously.

For his part, Edward remained as motionless as a statue fearing that any movement would set his father off as the tense seconds ticked away. He tried to decipher the thoughts flying through his leader's head, but very little of the instinctual animalistic musings were readable. The boy flinched without breaking his position when a strong hand landed heavily on his shoulder.

"Stand, Edward. Stand and face me."

Swallowing hard, the younger man opened his eyes, afraid of what he might see, but his fear quickly evaporated. Carlisle stood firm and strong with a tempest still swirling within the depths of his raven hued eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest, but his expression had slightly softened. The patriarch's extraneous breath was slow and deep, clearly focused on producing a calming effect and his agitated growls had dissipated. However, when Edward attempted to probe his father's mind for intent, he found himself deflected by Carlisle's well-honed mental shield.

A shocked gasp from behind him caught the boy's attention. Quickly he glanced over his shoulder to find his mother standing there with Jasper right behind her; his hands on her shoulders protectively. _Great. Just what I need; an audience to bear witness to my stupidity and subsequent dressing down._

A shiver ran though Edward that was swiftly eclipsed by the warmth of a placid peaceful feeling. Smoothly rising to his feet, the bronze haired boy gave his brother a slight nod as he breathed a sigh before meeting his father's eyes.

"What is going on in here?"

Edward grimaced at the concern in his mother's voice. He had meant to deter Carlisle from his path in the hopes of saving Esme from that stressful burden only to subject her to more unneeded stress brought on by his actions.

"Edward and I simply got our wires crossed, my love. There is nothing to worry about. The situation has been resolved. It **won't** happen again, will it Son?" As he softly spoke, Carlisle's eyes never strayed from his son.

"No, Sir. It will not." He swallowed hard as he fought to maintain eye contact with his father.

Carlisle relieved him of that strain as he shifted his focus past Edward to fall on Jasper. "Jazz, I don't know how much you saw or heard, but I trust your discretion. I prefer for this instance not to leave this room. "

"I see no reason why it should, Carlisle. What happened here is between you and Edward; no one else."

Giving his son a slight smile of gratitude he continued quietly. "I would appreciate it if you and Edward would return to the living room. Please continue to enjoy your evening." His eyes drifted between his sons. "I need to have a few words with your mother in private before we rejoin you."

Carlisle sighed when Edward lowered his head in defeat. Placing a knuckle beneath his son's chin, he raised the boy's head. "Edward, you may not believe this right now, but I have heard your objections and do appreciate your candor. Now, I need you to trust me to do what is right for me and for your mother." Cupping his hand behind his son's neck, Carlisle pulled Edward close and whispered in his ear. "She is a much stronger person than you give her credit for being, but if she truly can't go through with my request, I would never force her. All I can do is ask. She is free to say no and if that is her answer, her decision will be respected. She is my life, son. I would never allow, let alone facilitate, harm to come to her. If you don't trust my decisions at least have faith in my love for Esme."

Releasing his son, Carlisle stepped back to see Edward nod slightly before turning to walk away.

Once the boys were safely out of the room, Esme slid up behind her husband and wrapped her arms around his waist as she pressed her cheek against his back. "Are you going to give me an honest answer?"

Butterflies came to life in the pit of Carlisle's stomach at her words. Closing his eyes he crossed his arms covering her hands with his as he swallowed back the venom rising in his throat. "What do you mean, sweetheart? I am always honest with you."

"A lie of omission is still a lie, Carlisle Cullen. You've said the very same thing to our children often enough that I don't think I should have to remind you of that fact." Esme gently admonished as she kissed the side of his neck. "So, I'll ask you again, are you going to give me an honest answer about what was going on in here when Jasper and I walked in; and don't bother telling me that it's nothing to worry about. If it concerns my husband and my baby boy it most certainly is something that I should be concerned with."

He sighed inwardly as he slowly unwound her arms from around him and turned to face his mate. Inhaling deeply, he gazed into her questing pale golden eyes. Tracing the back of his fingers along her cheek he gave her a sad smile before kissing her softly.

"What was that for?"

"Good measure. I'm a little worried that you won't feel much like kissing me for a while after I say what I need to say."

Esme cocked an eyebrow curiously at Carlisle's odd explanation.

"Edward and I disagreed on a point that concerned you; more to the point, it concerned you and I and a request that I have. He disapproves and in doing so he began to make a suggestion that was well out of line. I was compelled to correct him, which gratefully I was able to do without harsh words or deeds." He tried to reassure her with a smile. "See, I told you that it was nothing to worry about."

"What is this request that you wish to make of me?"

"I would rather if we had a bit of privacy before I explain any further. Would you please accompany me for an evening stroll, Mrs. Cullen?" He held out his arm which she took gently and allowed him to lead her out of the house towards the tree line and beyond.

While they walked at a leisurely pace in silence, Esme studied her mate carefully. She could see him debating with himself and began to worry. Carlisle was always so very self-assured that she could only imagine what sort of problem would have this sort of effect on him. Near a rocky outcrop where the river dropped off into a small waterfall she had reached her limit of worst case scenarios and pulled him to a halt.

"Talk to me, Carlisle. You seem so troubled and I want to help you, but you have to confide in me first. Tell me what's wrong."

Releasing his hold on her, he ran both hands through his hair as he bowed his head. "Esme, I don't even know how to begin."

His wife took his hand and led him over towards the rock shelf where she sat, pulling him down with her. "Start with what is bothering you. I have to know what the problem is before I can help fix it."

"I'm…" He shook his head then let his gaze focus on the crescent moon reflected in the dark water. "I am troubled and I can't seem to resolve the issues that are plaguing me on my own."

"You don't have to resolve them yourself. With our family, you never have to struggle on your own, Carlisle. Any of the children would be happy …."

"No, Esme, I can't accept help from the children. Not with this. That is why Edward and I argued. He didn't want you to be bothered with my torment so he offered to help, but I can't allow that. I wish that I could, but I just can't. You don't understand."

The timbre of his voice rose as his anxiety grew. Esme ran her fingers along his temple as she cooed to him softly. "It's alright, love. We will face this together. Shh. If you say that the children can't help, that's fine, they don't have to. I'm here for you. Edward was being ridiculous if he thought that your needs would ever be a bother to me. If they can't help I most certainly will, but you have to let me in so I can know what I am dealing with. What can I do, darling?"

Carlisle withdrew from her touch and dropped his head in his hands for a few moments before raking his fingers through his hair and lifting his head back up to face his adoring wife with a heavy sigh.

"Oh, Carlisle," Esme whispered and took his hand in hers when she noticed venom tears coating his eyes. "Talk to me, love. I can't stand to see you suffering like this."

He gave her a small smile as the irony of her statement hit him. Taking a deep breath he found his courage and his voice. "I am suffering, Esme. Logically I know that there is no reason for me to feel as I do, but there are things that the brain just can't overcome on its own. Obviously, I've tried to reason with myself to no avail. I have tried to ignore my distress hoping that putting it out of my mind would drive it away, but it comes back with a vengeance. I've been able to distract myself for short spans of time, but I need to resolve the situation if I'm ever going to be free."

"What are you talking about, Carlisle? What situation?"

His breath caught in his chest as he lowered his head slightly but continued to gaze up into her worried loving eyes. He squeezed her hand lightly and swallowed hard before speaking softly, a slight waver in his tone.

"I cannot get past the guilt for what I have done to my son; for what I could have done to my family. I am blessed to call the remarkable individuals who surround me every day my family. Their willingness to forgive is the only reason this coven still remains intact. I don't feel that I deserve that, Esme."

She started to speak but another gentle squeeze to her hand quieted her and allowed him to continue.

"I have never questioned their love or devotion and return it in kind. In that vein I do know that I can justify their forgiveness for my transgression, because I offer no less in light of their mistakes." He closed his eyes for a few seconds as he struggled with his words. When he reopened them there was a determination in their depths that had been lacking moments before. "But, there is a difference. They are held accountable for their misdeeds where I am not. My children are able repent and be offered absolution so they can walk away with a clear conscience. This is not an option for me, Esme. My conscience remains troubled and there is no atonement for my sins. I have forgiveness, but I don't feel that it was earned and therefore am having a difficult time accepting it.

You asked me why I thought that I was better than my children and my response was that I didn't think that way at all. I was truthful in saying that. My position is higher, but I am no better. I should be held accountable to the same rules of conduct and suffer the same consequences for breaking those rules."

Even though she could feel the seriousness in his words, Esme found herself unable to suppress a smile. "So you want me to punish you like an errant boy, Carlisle? You broke the rules and fought with Jasper so you need to be grounded? Work, hunting and home for a month, young man." Her eyes sparkled as she tried to force him to see the humor in his request. "Oh, and give me your car keys. You won't be needing them. I'll drive you where you are allowed to go."

She reached out her free hand to stroke his cheek gently as she reeled in her amusement and grew serious in response to his pain. "If you require chastisement in order to let go of this remorse, sweetheart, I am willing to do what I can. I'm sure that I can find some dreaded chores for you to do during your confinement. Something that will allow you to work off your penance without being overly obvious to the children. Will that suffice, my love?" She gave him a quizzical look as she smiled gently.

He shook his head as his breath escaped in a soft sigh. "No, sweetheart, I'm afraid that wouldn't be fair. The same offense should carry the same punishment. Jasper was not grounded for his crime."

Slowly the light smile faded to be replaced by an expression of shock as the true gravity of her husband's request hit her. "Carlisle. No. You can't be suggesting…" She pulled back and stared at him as her mind refused to accept even the thought of acting against her husband in such a way. "You can't be serious, love."

He nodded while swallowing back the lump that formed in his throat. "Esme, my dearest heart, I need to experience physical pain if I am ever going to be able to purge my conscience." He took a deep breath then held it for a moment before quickly blurting out, "Esme, as my equal and partner you are the only one I can ask. I regret that I am not strong enough to find another way. I need to be whipped like I whipped my boy and you are the only means to my salvation."

* * *

**AN:** Esme is in a state of shock. *nods* I get the feeling that she and Carlisle are going to make the next chapter difficult for me.

Just in case it's not obvious, the variety of movies suggested have the various actors in them. ...and I'm with Alice. I think the lead in _A Warrior's Heart_ is hot and Rose would certainly enjoy watching him. ;-) Movie night was just a way for me to entertain myself as I gained my own courage to tackle the coming event. Hope it wasn't too distracting.

Thanks for everything, guys! Y'all just continue to be top shelf. There is just no better group of folks out there than y'all. Thanks goes out to Splinter for making my job easier; now if I can just find a way to return the favor.


	20. Negotiation

"Carlisle, this must be some sort of a joke. You can't be asking me to... No, Carlisle. I'm sorry, love, but that isn't something that I can do. Putting you in more pain to get you out of pain? Be reasonable. You don't understand fully what you are asking."

Carlisle let his head fall as he listened to his mate's protests. "On the contrary, darling, I know only full well what I am asking and I know that it would be beyond difficult for you." He looked up at her with soft tear filled eyes. "If I wasn't at the point that I truly felt that I needed this release I would never ask this of you, but the emotional pain has become nearly too much for me to bear. I never wanted to put you in this position."

The sight of Carlisle's distress caused tears to form in his mate's eyes. "I'm sorry, Carlisle." She pulled him tightly into her embrace and cradled his head against her shoulder. His strong arms wrapped around her as he held onto his mate, absorbing her love. _Physically strong, but emotionally tattered. Oh, Carlisle why do you beat yourself up like this? _Esme spoke softly as she rested her cheek against the top of Carlisle's head. "My love, you've done nothing wrong. Even if I could find the strength to follow through with what you're asking of me, there is no good reason. You wouldn't punish the children without cause; even the Volturi would not inflict punishment without a reason."

"Saving my soul from the hell it currently occupies is enough reason."

His mate sighed as she rubbed his back and rocked ever so slightly trying to soothe Carlisle in much the same way she would a small child in distress. "I do believe that you need to take a page from that lesson book you gave Jasper. You, Carlisle Cullen, need to learn to forgive yourself and put all of this behind you."

He chuckled softly causing Esme to pull back and gently raise his head to allow her to see his eyes. "What is that about?"

Shaking his head, Carlisle smiled weakly. "Putting it behind me is exactly what I'm trying to get you to help me with."

Esme rolled her eyes, but gave her mate a slight smile.

"My love, there comes a point where even the strongest can no longer struggle under the weight of their burden. Believe me, it's not easy for me to ask for this help. I know how it sounds." He groaned as he turned his face away from her while a feeling of shame washed over him. "I know that this makes me weak in your eyes; rightfully so."

"Carlisle!" Esme caught his chin and turned his face back towards her. "You are not weak and I won't hear that sort of talk."

"But I am, Esme. I should be able to resolve this on my own, but I can't. That is a sign of weakness." He glanced away again, then gracefully stood and walked a few feet away from his mate. "I've exhausted all other avenues of redemption. I have forgiveness that is undeserved which makes it feel hollow and trite.

You're right. I do need to forgive myself, but to be able to do that I need to atone. I've wracked my brain only to keep coming back to this one option. It is my final alternative, love. I have to try to overcome the psychological pain of guilt through the physical pain of punishment and I can't do that alone."

His voice became so soft that even with her superior hearing, Esme was barely able to make out his words as they mingled with the roar of the thundering water.

"I promised Edward that I would abide by your decision. I know that this idea makes you uncomfortable, to say the least, and if you are unable ... well, I do understand. I will ask that you please take a little time to think it through though before you decide. That's not much to ask, is it?" He took a deep breath before meeting her eyes and spoke with more strength and conviction in his tone. "If, after that, your answer is still no, I will accept that as fate. For all I know there may be a reason for me to continue to feel this way; some lesson that I have yet to learn."

"Carlisle, you have done nothing wrong. That is the lesson life is trying to teach you. There is no need for punishment, when there is no misdeed committed."

Esme eased herself to her feet and smoothly glided towards her husband. Taking both of his hands in hers, she stared lovingly into his grief tinged eyes before he glanced away.

Several silent moments passed between husband and wife as each tried to think of a way to further their argument.

When Esme finally spoke, her voice was quiet and gentle, but undeniably firm. "Tell me precisely what you feel you have done wrong to deserve to be subjected to this chastisement. Precisely, Carlisle Cullen. I don't want a rehashing of the abstract. You lean on this cryptic concept that you have wronged Jasper in some way. If you want me to honestly consider your request, I require concrete evidence of wrongdoing. Confess this sin to me by telling me exactly what your offense is."

He swallowed back the nervous flood of venom before returning his gaze to his mate's exquisite face. "You already know my crime, Esme."

"I know of no crime, Carlisle. I know of the actions of a man who bravely stepped in when he knew that I, that his mate, was in danger. He was forced to battle against someone whom he loves dearly to save another who also holds a piece of his heart. That tug of war to try to do right by both parties is what fractured his spirit. That is the reason that he suffers still; because he dared to love too much." She reached out and cupped his cheek as he closed his eyes at her touch. "Are you trying to convince me that love is now a crime, Carlisle? If so that is one proposal that I will never agree to."

He stroked the back of her hand then gripped it lightly and pressed it to his lips before pulling it away.

"It was not love that I was feeling towards my son when I had my teeth to his throat. He had submitted, but I continued to threaten his life. I was so out of control that I could not accept my boy's surrender. I am supposed to lead by example. What sort of example did that set? How can I castigate my children for fighting and threatening each other and then turn around and do the same thing that I reprimand them for?" He shook his head in disgust.

"I'm over three hundred and fifty years old, Esme. I am certainly old enough to know better, but did nothing to stop myself. I became a threat to my son; to my entire family. Is that not enough punishable sin for you?"

Carlisle forcibly exhaled as he tried to calm the frustration that he felt rising in his chest.

"If it had been a nomad who threatened Jasper as I had, would you not have taken action? If the scenario was the same, and this stranger attacked our son to try to protect you, would you not have wanted to cause him harm? What if it was Eleazar or Garrett who stood in my place, can you honestly say that you would afford them the same immunity that you are willing to grant me?"

"That would be a completely different case, Carlisle."

He barked a humorless laugh. "How is that any different, apart from the fact that they would face possible dismemberment and death? All I ask for is a moment of punitive pain for a transgression that could rightfully lead to death in anyone else."

"I know that you would never have hurt him. With anyone other than family, I wouldn't have that same assurance."

"With respect, love, you know nothing of the sort. I very likely would have killed him had you not been able to get through to me. At that very moment, I was a mindless animal defending what I saw as my property; which is also an unsavory idea, in and of itself."

"That was instinct which you cannot be held responsible for; however, the man locked inside the beast still had the strength to keep his son safe. Doesn't that show you that you were still in control? Doesn't that prove that you have done nothing wrong?"

Carlisle dropped his head as he turned away slightly rubbing his temples with one hand before letting that hand fall. Crossing his arms over his chest, he sighed deeply.

Esme touched his shoulder only to have him flinch and tilt his head a bit further away as he closed his eyes in thought.

"Carlisle, maybe I do have too much faith in you, but you have never yet failed to meet my expectations." She voiced her words in a quiet whisper.

"Yet. There is always a first time. If this had been that first time, we would be without our children and I would have my son's death on my hands." The muscles in his jaw tightened as he battled his vexation. "I don't know that I could live with that, Esme and that thought is consuming me. It's what fuels my guilt and I can't seem to let it go."

With a sigh he finally opened his eyes and glanced at her over his shoulder. "Will you still hear my confession, love?"

She nodded, but refrained from speaking.

Carlisle quickly scanned the area then took her hand and led his mate a short distance from the river to a spot under the towering ancient trees. Releasing her, he dropped to his knees at her feet and bowed his head in reverence.

"Bless me, my angel, for I have sinned. I have nearly taken the life of my child, who I am sworn to protect. I have nearly made my daughter a widow and destroyed my family through this thoughtless act. I failed to control my anger, which is one of the true deadly sins." He took a breath before looking up to meet her eyes. "I have contemplated taking my own life should something like this occur again; knowing full well that it will damn my everlasting soul, if that shouldn't already be its state. With my feet already on the road to perdition, I have had the nerve to request that my mate join me in my fall. I selfishly asked her to commit an act that I know goes against her beliefs and could rekindle memories best left in the past. I asked her to be stronger than me and to face her own personal hell in the hopes that she could help recover my soul." His eyes shone brightly as the moonlight reflected off the tears that blurred his vision. "I shamelessly put myself first and that is my greatest sin. I wish that I was a better man, but what is left of my soul is broken, bleeding and lost and only my soul mate can redeem me."

His breath caught in his chest as he noted the sorrow that his words caused in his mate, but he pressed on.

"I am penitent, Esme, but I need absolution. Please help me purge my soul through a temporary purgatory and save me from my living hell."

Slowly exhaling his held breath, Carlisle clasped his hands together as if in prayer then rested his bowed head against them. All he could do now is wait. If Esme still refused he would have to let it go. He could not force her; would not force her even without that promise he made to Edward. He had stated his case to the best of his ability and now it was up to his mate to decide what she could and could not bear.

Time crept by as the patriarch remained on his knees on the damp ground. He felt his wife's light touch on his head and heard her soft sigh, but he remained as he was; head bowed and eyes closed.

"When and where do you want to do this, Carlisle?" There was great sadness in her voice, but he knew that she was resigned to the task and would not back out now. A new wave of nervousness stuck him, causing his stomach to knot. "I take it that we will want the children out of the house."

"I really don't care if they are there," he whispered. "Alice will see anyway and Edward already knows. My crime is far more humiliating than any punishment inflicted and that is something that they are all very much aware of."

"Neither Edward nor Alice, will share what they know with the others and there is no point in adding to the humiliation you already feel. We will work out the details together to make sure that you receive what you need from this experience, but it can be accomplished when the children are at school or on some errand." Esme gave a soft sad laugh as she ran her fingers through her husband's thick fair hair. "I think sending them on a hunt or off to Port Angeles just might send up a red flag. Once they realize that they are all being sent away they will know something more than slightly abnormal is up."

"Maybe they would just think we needed some alone time."

Esme took hold of Carlisle's chin and raised his bowed head until he was looking up at her. "You are going to owe me some serious romantic togetherness after all of this, young man."

He smirked and snorted slightly at her comment. "I seem to remember having a good two and a half centuries on you, little miss, though I do admit that at this moment I feel every bit the belligerent youngster."

"You have been quite argumentative, Carlisle Cullen, but we'll curb that trait soon enough." Esme reached her hand down for Carlisle to take and helped him up to his feet as she smiled at her little joke in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Carlisle wrapped his arms around Esme and kissed her cheek before burying his head against her shoulder. Deeply inhaling her calming scent, he began to relax slightly even as the butterflies fluttered madly in his stomach. It had been three hundred and fifty years since Carlisle's last experience on the receiving end of corporal punishment, and the thought suddenly found him apprehensive.

"Carlisle, you're trembling. Are you alright?" Esme pushed him back and looked at him with great concern.

"Yes, I'm fine." He nodded then averted his eyes in embarrassment. "I'm relieved actually, but I think it's understandable for me to be somewhat nervous."

Esme serenely raked her fingers through his hair. "You can always call it off, sweetheart. No one would be the wiser and you know I would never demand that you go through something like this."

"No. No, I can't. This is something that I need to go through. I know that I will be relieved after. It's the getting there that is the hardest part."

"And you still haven't answered my question. When and where?"

"What? No 'how'?" He took a deep breath and smiled.

"I think I can handle the 'how' just fine."

"I would think either the study or bedroom will work nicely. Whichever makes you the most comfortable, since I know this is going to be just as hard if not harder on you than me." He swallowed nervously. "When is also up to you, but as soon as reasonably possible would be my preference. I would like to get through this as soon as possible so I can move on. We could address the problem as soon as we get back home if you would like. As I said, I don't have an issue with the children being there as long as they give us privacy, which I'm sure they would."

Esme nodded her head then sighed and shook it. "I'm not ready for this."

"I understand and am more than willing to work within your time table, just as long as you don't keep me waiting for months. I fear that the anxiety of waiting would get to me after a while."

"I wouldn't do that to you, lover." She thought for a few minutes as he silently watched her come to a decision. "Your next day off and I think we'll use the study."

Carlisle chuckled gaining him an odd look from his mate. "I'm sorry, honey, but it just suddenly sounded like a game of Clue. Mrs. Esme, in the study, with what have you."

Her husband's smirk caused Esme to laugh. He was obviously nervous, but there was a peacefulness in his manner that she hadn't even realized he had been missing. While she still did not like the idea one bit, there was no denying that it brought an ease to Carlisle and she was glad to be able to help him reach that point.

"Too bad we didn't add _Clue_ to the movie list. I could have gone with a comedy." He smiled warmly. "Do you think they are still watching _Harry Potter_?"

Esme grinned. "I think it is probably over by now."

"They could have put on one of the other Potter films." Carlisle snaked his arm around his mate's waist as they began to walk back towards the house.

"True, but it depends on who was first to control the DVD player when it ended. I would place money on Em and say they are now watching _A Nightmare on Elm Street_."

"Hm. Well horror flicks are good for romance. Nothing like having your lady love jump in your arms so you can protect her during the scary parts." He gave her a sly wink.

"And what if it is the gentleman who needs protecting?"

"Mrs. Cullen, I have no problems snuggling in your arms so you can protect me from Freddy or any other boogeyman that the film industry can create."

Esme tugged on her mate's arm effectively stopping him and kissed him passionately. "If I didn't think the children would eventually send out a search party for us, I would be only too happy to reenact some classic romance scenes out here instead."

"I like how you think, Mistress Cullen. I'm sure Alice will inform the children to stay clear of the area while we create our own bit of theater. You know, maybe it really isn't that bad having a seer in the family, as long as it's not Emmett." Carlisle's eyes sparkled as he scooped a giggling Esme into his arms and carried her deeper in the forest.

* * *

**AN:** Once again Carlisle and Esme managed to wear me out. Don't think things are smooth sailing for the good doctor just yet. Esme may have given into his pitifulness but there is one more glitch to be overcome before Carlisle can finally gain the redemption that he seeks.

I have enjoyed writing all of my stories, but this convoluted monstrosity is my baby, guys so thanks so much to each and everyone for being there with me through it all. *hugs*

As always, special thanks to my wonderful beta, Splinter; making the story better one correction at a time. ;-)


	21. The Key to Perdition

Carlisle relaxed on the couch as he became engrossed in the morning news. "You know sometimes I wish we could partake in the morning coffee ritual. I don't even remember what it tastes like." He mused as he watched a reporter jump start his day with a jolt of caffeine.

"I have no doubt that it would taste very differently now. Probably quite bitter actually. " Esme kissed his cheek as she headed towards the stairs. "We may not get to enjoy coffee but we still get some of the human experience. For example, there is no shortage of the traditional 'Do I have to go to school today' from our children."

Her mate smirked as he watched his wife head up stairs to round up their brood. "At least they can't claim to be sick."

"Ha! That shows just how observant you are, Dr. Cullen. Simply because it's a physical impossibility doesn't mean that they still won't try to get away with it. Ask Emmett how often he has had a fever or stomachache," Esme called back as she disappeared down the hall.

Carlisle chuckled softly as he settled back into the plush cushions. He regretted that he had to admit that his wife was right. Most mornings saw him racing from the house to get to work so he didn't take the time to enjoy the early hours with his children. At least today was an exception to that. He had been asked to work an overnight shift the evening before, so he was able to take things a little easier today and, with the children at school, he and his mate would have the entire house to themselves; a prospect he generally thoroughly enjoyed.

Today was a little different however. Today there was a plan set that caused the gentle patriarch to be more than a slight bit anxious. Taking a deep breath, Carlisle pushed the thought of what awaited him to the back of his mind as he focused on the conversation going on up stairs.

"Emmett, turn that off and finish getting dressed. You're going to be late."

"Aww, come on, Momma. I'm almost ready to level up. Just give me a few more minutes."

"Emmett, do as you're told and don't argue with your mother," Carlisle called out softly, but the quiet grumbling and shuffling sounds that followed let him know that he had been heard.

A piercing shriek jolted Carlisle from the news story as he looked towards the upper floors with worry.

"Emmett, you can't wear that! Rose, how can you let him go out in public like this?"

_It sounds like Alice's fashion sense has just been affronted. _

"I'm his wife not his keeper," Rose answered rather dismissively as she descended the stairs. "He can wear whatever he likes."

The rumbling bruin belted out a "See!" to his sister only to be met with more displeasure.

"Oh good God, no. Come here, Em. Let me help you with that. It doesn't go that way."

"Crap, Alice, you're going to strangle me. Let me go! I'm not two, you know? I can dress myself, little sis; been doing it a long time."

"Apparently you've been doing it wrong. Emmett, NO! Just no! Would you please stop it?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes at the hostile fashion makeover going on upstairs then gave her father a quiet "good morning" and kissed his cheek.

"Good morning, Kitty. Sounds like the fashion police are making their rounds this morning."

With a sigh she nodded while thumbing through her English Lit essay. "He really didn't look that bad. Alice is just in one of her moods. One of these days she is going to figure out that she can't make Emmy look like he belongs on the cover of GQ. He has his own style; plain and simple." Grabbing her car keys she called out to her mate and siblings. "I'll be in the car. You all want to hurry it up? If we're late because you guys can't get it together I am going to be royally pissed."

"Nothing new about that." It was Jasper's voice that caused Carlisle to shake his head, but his daughter seemed to ignore the comment.

Turning towards Carlisle she gave him a rare heartwarming smile. "Have fun on your day off, Dad. The two of you deserve it so make the most of it."

"Thank you, Kitty. I'll take those words to heart." He grinned as he watched his daughter head out the door.

Seconds later Emmett came bounding down the stairs two at a time. "Morning, Pops! No time to talk. I gotta get out of here before that lunatic tries to paint my nails or something. Don't work too hard today." He wiggled his eyebrows and gave his father a knowing grin before dashing out into the garage.

"As if I would paint his nails, though he really could do with a good manicure; maybe a pedicure. I guess clear polish wouldn't be a bad idea, or maybe something neutral to make them look cleaner." Alice fell silent as she pondered the new prospect of improving on her brother's appearance.

Carlisle looked away from the backdoor and focused on his baby girl and Jasper, who stood at the base of the stairs. _Is it always like this? I'm amazed that Esme hasn't pulled her hair out if this is what she goes through every morning._

"Oh, it's worse sometimes. Today is actually rather quiet," Edward softly replied to his father's thoughts as he walked past Alice.

"Edward, please don't do that."

His first born gave Carlisle a sheepish look as he whispered a soft "sorry" and went to gather his books.

"Have a good day, Daddy." Alice skipped over towards Carlisle and gave him a light kiss when she suddenly pulled up and shook her head. Jasper wrapped his arms protectively around his wife as concern darkened his eyes. "Ooo, for some reason I thought that had changed. Hm. Apparently it didn't." Her dark honey gold eyes shifted to Carlisle's. "Daddy, be careful if you really do decide to do that. Esme is certainly not going to like the idea."

"What idea, sweetheart?" Confusion tinged with concern colored the tone of Carlisle's voice.

His tiny dark haired daughter averted her eyes as some unknown scene played in her head before gazing back at her father's face. She shook her head. "I would rather not say since it is for you to share, not me. Just know that it will be alright, but you are going to have to explain things to Momma. Just make sure that this is really what you want and know that if it is, I'll support your decision."

Alice wrapped her arms around her father and hugged him tight as she whispered in his ear. "Jazz has to stay home today. There is going to be some issues in gym class that he really shouldn't be around. He is due for a hunt. That's what makes it not a good idea for him to go to school today, but also makes it easy to get some privacy."

Bouncing back up, she kissed her mate and gave him a parting hug. "Be good, Jazzy. Momma and Daddy are going to want some private time today. Just give them some space and I'll see you this afternoon. I love you, Daddy and if you and Momma need more time just give Edward a call and we'll make ourselves scarce." Kissing Jasper once again, Alice danced out to the garage. Seconds later, father and son heard Rosalie's convertible roar to life.

"Dad, Alice is right."

"You know what she was talking about?"

Edward nodded while his eyes shifted from Carlisle to Esme who had just joined them in the living room and then back again. "I still don't think that is what you need, but if mom is alright with it I'm not going to say anymore. Don't worry either. Neither Alice nor I will say anything. Your secret is safe with us." He gave Carlisle a quick hug then walked over to Esme. "It will be fine. I can understand how you feel and why, but this is a different situation. Just trust Carlisle."

A car horn began to blow, impatiently summoning the last straggler to leave.

"Love you both. See you this evening." Edward took Esme's hand in his and kissed it gently before quickly crossing the room and slipping out the door.

"What in the world was that about? I mean, I can guess, but I would have thought that they would both already know that we are in agreement on this so what are they fretting about?" Esme looked to her husband for answers that he didn't have.

"I have no idea, Love, but it has just occurred to me that our children might be a little odd."

Jasper snorted softly as Esme snickered before smiling gently at her mate. "Really, Darling? And what was your first clue?"

Carlisle reached out and grabbed his beautiful lover's hand pulling her down onto his lap. "You think you're smart, don't you, little Miss?" He tickled Esme as she squealed and curled up into a ball while slapping at him. "Don't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." She gasped as she giggled harder.

"Oh, really?" Carlisle growled softly as he ran a hand through her golden brown hair then tightened his grip and pulled her head back to gaze into her half closed eyes. "I think you know exactly what I'm talking about, young lady." He kissed his wife passionately taking her breath away.

Jasper glanced away from his parents a bit embarrassed by intruding where he felt he had no place being. "And on that note, I'm going off for a hunt. I'll give y'all a few hours. Feel free to hang a towel on the doorknob or something as a signal. As long as it's there, I'll be happy to leave you in peace."

Esme groaned softly then reluctantly shook her head. "No need. You can stay, Jasper. I have a meeting in twenty minutes with Em's teacher. Your father is just going to have to wait a little while longer." Brushing her hand against Carlisle's cheek she patted him gently and added, "But I will be back as soon as I can."

"Cancel."

Esme purred quietly as Carlisle's fingers slowly trailed up her inner thigh. "I wish I could, Lover. I can promise that I will make this as brief as possible, but I really have to leave. "

Carlisle's pout caused Esme to giggle.

"Aww. I won't be one minute longer than I have to be, Sweetheart." She kissed his cheek then slipped away to grab her purse.

Jasper cleared his throat and tore Carlisle's eyes away from his wife. "I'm sorry that I ended up having to stay home. I would have thought that I would be alright, but Alice saw a fight break out. Apparently some kid ends up with a busted nose and well…" He looked down at his feet. "I didn't mean to ruin your plans."

Carlisle smiled softly. "You haven't ruined anything, Jasper. Your mother and I will go right along with our plans just fine. It's really not what you think."

Averting his eyes, the southerner replied quietly in the hopes that his mother wouldn't hear. "I believe it is, in part, exactly what I think, Sir."

"Well maybe. I was hoping to share a bit of comfort with Esme before what we have planned out takes place. I'm not sure that I'll be in the mood later."

Jasper nodded. "I can understand that perfectly, Papa."

Carlisle tilted his head as he cocked an eyebrow questioningly. "Did Alice confide in you about what she saw?"

"No, Sir, not at all. It just wasn't all that hard for me to piece together, what with the confrontation between you and Edward the other night and…" He allowed his voice to fade as he reconsidered his words.

"And?" Carlisle prompted.

Esme sauntered back into the living room at that moment saving Jasper from having to explain. "And I will see you in a little bit." She bent down to kiss her husband. "Now you boys behave while I'm gone. No roughhousing, you hear me?" She gave Jasper a wink.

"Yes, ma'am. We'll make sure the house is still in pristine condition for your return." Jasper smiled slightly.

"I wasn't worried about you, Jazz. I was more concerned about this other one over here."

"Hey, now." Carlisle feigned shock at his wife's teasing, causing her to laugh as she headed out the door. With a quick wave to her boys, Esme was gone.

"I do hope that is a good meeting and not some sort of disaster that Emmett has brewing."

"I haven't heard him plotting anything so I think it should be okay." Jasper sat down in a chair to join Carlisle in watching the news.

Precious little time had passed when his father's voice broke the silence between them.

"And?"

"Me and my big mouth." The boy leaned his head back and sighed before looking over at his father. "And I could feel how nervous you have been. You came back from your walk with momma just bristling with the jitters and it's been that way off and on ever since; especially when she is around.

I'm all too familiar with that worried anxious feeling. Every one of us feels that same way when we know we are due a little discussion with you. I can tell you it is an emotion that not one of us can hide. I get to feel it regardless of who is in trouble. Your nervous energy spiked like a solar flare this morning when you thought that you were going to be alone with momma. Like I said, it wasn't hard to piece together."

"Maybe I'm just excited about getting to finally spend an entire day with my mate."

Jasper shook his head. "Different kind of energy. That has an entirely different feeling to it. I can't explain it, but you're just going to have to trust me on this one."

Carlisle studied Jasper for a few seconds as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "That is actually extremely interesting, Jasper. I never knew that our energy signals were that complex."

"Like you wouldn't believe." He nodded then became quiet as he watched the weather report which caused him to laugh. "He's wrong. It's going to be a chilly weekend."

Carlisle chuckled. "He doesn't have the benefit of Alice's gift so all he can do is guess. Speaking of which, does Alice know that you know?"

"No. I didn't see any reason to say anything. This isn't anyone's business but yours." Jasper's brow suddenly furrowed as he glanced at his father. "But, if you don't mind me asking, and don't think you have to answer if you don't want to, but… why?"

Carlisle sighed softly. "For the same reason you provoked me; catharsis."

Jasper nodded in understanding. "Hurts," he stated matter of factly.

"I know."

"Have you …. Well with Esme I mean…for…?"

"No. This is a first and hopefully last time. It was just getting to be too much for me and I couldn't think of anything else to do."

Jasper looked down as he scuffed his toe into the plush carpet. "I'm sorry, Carlisle."

Carlisle looked genuinely puzzled. "Whatever for?"

"For making you feel this way and for butting into your private business where I have no place being."

"Jasper, my emotional issues are not your fault. This is my problem; created by me. I don't want you thinking that anyone else is to blame." Jasper gave a barely perceptible nod which caused Carlisle to groan. "It's the truth, Son and as far as this being a private matter. Well, let's just say that I know privacy is a bit more of a pipe dream around here. I appreciate your discretion the same as I do Alice's and Edward's, but I wasn't concerned about anyone finding out about this arrangement between your mother and I. I see nothing to be ashamed of, however, your mother is more than a little apprehensive so I would appreciate it if we didn't make a big deal out of this."

"Not a problem, Papa."

"Thank you, Son." Carlisle sighed in relief. "Now if I can just figure a way to keep Emmett under control."

"We won't say anything to him."

The elder grinned and shook his head. "I know that you won't, Jazz, but we are talking about Em. He will find out. That is just a given. What he lacks in special abilities, he more than makes up for in tenacity."

Father and son shared a laugh before settling down in a comfortable quiet broken only by the sounds of a civil war documentary Jasper happened to find for them to watch while they awaited Esme's return.

* * *

"I just don't know about that boy sometimes."

Carlisle and Jasper both looked up as Esme walked through the door and shut it behind her a little more forcibly than intended causing the sidelights to rattle.

"Do I even want to know?" Carlisle sat up giving his wife his full attention.

"It would seem that your son has been bored in biology and has been getting into all sorts of mischief. Tabletop football made out of litmus paper, turning a shipment of frogs loose in the girl's locker room, putting the anatomy skeleton in compromising positions…"

Jasper snickered earning a stern look from his mother.

"Sorry. That would be Petey. Em stuck a name tag on him sometime back. They're buddies. Petey does tend to inspire Em to new levels of lunacy all the time. There was the time Em dressed Petey in a chauffeur's cap and placed him in the driver's seat of Mr. Greene's car. I heard he gave Mr. Greene quite the scare. That prank has become legendary."

"Well, Emmett's buddy is going to get his butt into serious trouble. The last thing any of us needs is for that boy to become a legend." Esme crossed her arms.

"Oh, Petey isn't really that much trouble, Momma. He tends to hang around spying on the girls, but he's actually very quiet."

The look Esme gave Jasper chilled the venom in his veins.

Carlisle kicked his son's foot as he cleared his throat. "You are not helping, son. If I were you, I would quit while I was ahead. At this rate, Em won't be the only one in the doghouse tonight."

"Yes, Sir." The boy dipped his head towards Esme. "Sorry, Momma. I was just having a little fun. I think that it might be time for me to head out on that hunt." He walked over to Esme and gave her a hug and kiss. "Sorry again. Just trying to help you see the humor." With a slight nod to Carlisle, Jasper quickly made his way to the door before he could make things worse for his brother or himself. Turning back to glance over his shoulder at his parents, the boy added, "Oh, and Momma, don't be too hard on him. We all need a kick in the butt from time to time, but still." He gave her a wink and shot out of the house before Esme could mutter a word.

Getting up and going over to his mate, Carlisle took an easy breath before speaking softly. "I'll have a talk with Emmett today after school, love. We'll get it straightened out. Don't trouble yourself over this. We all know how Em gets when he is bored. Sometimes he just needs a little reminder about how to behave."

"He needs to stop doing things like this, Carlisle. I know that he has a hard time curbing his playfulness, but when it gets him into trouble at school…"

"I do agree, honey, which is why I will talk to him. Acting up in class draws too much attention and Emmy knows better. I'm afraid these things will always come up when your son is the class clown, though." His eyes twinkled as he looked deeply into his wife's eyes. "I do, however like it how he is your little cub as long as he behaves himself, but as soon as he gets out of hand he is my son ."

"That's because my sweet cubbie would never behave like that, so it has to be your influence."

Amusement shone brightly in Carlisle's topaz eyes as he rolled with laughter. "Oh, I seem to recall one young lady who was quite the adventurer in her teens. I believe it was her mischievous nature that landed her into trouble and at my practice with a broken leg."

With a toss of her head, Esme turned slightly away from her mate. "I don't know what or to whom you are referring to, Doctor Cullen."

"Na uh. Oh no you don't, Little Miss. Don't you try fibbing to me. You know what happens to people who are dishonest around here."

Carlisle poked Esme in the ribs, delighting in her squeak of protest, then pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly.

Leaning back to look in her eyes he smiled but when he spoke, his voice carried a more serious tone. "I'll talk to Emmett and we shouldn't have any more problems like this; at least for a little while."

Esme sighed quietly. "Are you going to feel up to talking to Emmett?"

Carlisle squinted as he considered her question for a few moments before nodding. "Yes. I'm sure that I'll be able to handle that particular task. I am quite familiar with lecturing from a standing position." He grinned as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Thank you, Esme."

"I haven't done anything, my love, so you might not want to thank me just yet."

"I know how strange and difficult this is for you. Your willingness to make the attempt is more than reason enough for me to be thankful."

She inhaled deeply as she tried to calm herself. "How do you feel?"

"Nervous. Anxious." He tilted his head as his gaze became unfocused while his mind sorted through the emotions swirling within. "A little bit scared."

"That definitely makes two of us." She cupped his cheek lightly, causing him to return his focus to her. "There is still time to change your mind."

He smiled before leaning into her touch for a second then pulled away to lightly kiss her palm. Taking her hand in his, he gazed lovingly into her eyes. "I don't know how I got so lucky to have you come into my life, Darling." With a soft sigh he shook his head. "My mind has been made. I won't be changing it."

"I didn't really think that you would, but I had to try." Esme sighed sadly as she mentally prepared herself before gently continuing. "Jasper has left us alone. Maybe we should…"

"Put me out of my misery," he offered helpfully.

Esme did little more than nod.

"I would appreciate that, Sweetheart." He hugged her before slipping his hand into hers to lead her upstairs. "One thing this event has taught me; I'm not going to make the children wait any longer than absolutely necessary. That is much worse than the actual punishment."

As they reached the study, Carlisle stopped before the door and took a deep breath then exhaled slowly.

"Three hundred sixty nine years old and scared as hell right now." He lowered his head and shook it, clearly annoyed with himself.

His mate squeezed his hand. "I don't think age can ever be considered a factor, Carlisle. You have every right to be apprehensive. I'm terrified and I am easily in a better position than you." She wrapped her free arm around his shoulders and cuddled into him. "I'm here with you, Love. I'll keep you safe, so at least you don't have to worry about anything like that."

His hand rested against the door knob for several seconds before Carlisle forced back his fear and opened the door, allowing Esme to precede him into the room. Once the door latch clicked closed, Carlisle knew that there would be no turning back.

He motioned towards a chair encouraging Esme to sit. Once she was seated, he walked over towards his desk and leaned against it with his head bowed. He fidgeted as his nervousness came to the forefront of his emotions.

"I don't think a lecture is needed, Sweetheart. I have berated myself since the incident so I can promise you that I know well what I did wrong."

"Since I still don't feel that you have done anything wrong, I think that is a wise decision."

Carlisle took a breath then raised his head to allow his gaze to fall on his wife. "I have one request to make and then all further decisions are up to you. I will freely submit to your authority just grant me this one last wish."

"Carlisle, I will do anything for you. I thought the fact that I have already agreed to this would have proved that point."

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "Esme, you said that you had the 'how' part of our arrangement under control and all you needed from me was the where and when. I would like a say in how this punishment is dealt if you will allow it."

"Of course, Carlisle."

When he opened his eyes, Esme found herself surprised by how dark they had become. She knew and understood him being nervous, but the level needed for his eyes to change that drastically was frighteningly excessive. "Carlisle?"

He quickly shook his head and held his hand out to placate her. "It's alright, Honey. I'm okay. It's just a really bad case of nerves because I don't know how to ask this."

Pushing off the desk he walked around behind it, fished in his pocket for his keys and opened the bottom most drawer.

"Esme, how are you planning …." Carlisle felt his courage falter, than cleared his throat with a soft cough. "What are you planning on spanking me with?"

"What do you mean, Carlisle? My hand of course, just like I would any of the children."

He shook his head. "I need you to be harsher with me, Love. I told you that I needed to be whipped like I whipped my boy."

"Emmett will be happy to attest to the harshness of my hand."

Esme sounded slightly offended, but worse was the amount of uneasiness Carlisle was able to detect in her tone. _How am I going to get both of us through this, if I already have her this distraught with just my words?_

"I am not questioning your ability, my love. I don't doubt for a moment that I would feel your effort." He slowly returned to her side and crouched down next to her chair. "My…experiences…make me a little different from my children. I need to really feel the punitive effects of what I'm asking for and submitting too." He took her hand gently in his and turned it palm side up. "I will never view this as a vehicle of punishment. Your hands have cared for and comforted me in my darkest times, Esme. Yes, they are capable of correcting, but I need for you to bring me past the point of tears for me to be able to release this poison plaguing me. Realistically, that will require a long and hard chastisement. I don't want you to be hurting as well, Sweetheart. I rather have your hands there to help pick me back up after."

His mate looked unconvinced. "I wouldn't know if I am hitting you too hard."

"I promise that I won't allow myself to be injured. I will give you feedback. You already read me better than anyone ever could. You will know."

"I've never… I just don't know, Carlisle."

"Esme, I trust you completely. Let my faith in you allow you to trust yourself. I am prepared to turn over all control to you. You can stop anytime you wish. Even if I haven't reached the point that I feel I need to; if you say it's over, it will be over. You will be in control of the situation and the implement. Use it at your discretion. You will hold all the cards, but please, Love, allow me to play just this one at the start."

The earnest expression on his face finally won Esme over. With a silent sigh she gave in. "Alright, Carlisle, but at my discretion. If I don't want to use it the entire time, you don't fuss about that."

He quickly agreed.

"What did you have in mind?"

Slowly he stood, feeling the butterflies in his stomach fluttering wildly, and returned to the far side of his desk. Pulling the drawer open, he withdrew a cloth wrapped package. Steadying his nerves, he freed the heavy saddle leather strap from its protective covering and let it uncurl to hang limply in his hand. The pungent scent of leather dressing filled the room from the recent care Carlisle had given the aged strip of hide, as he had put forth the effort needed to return the leather to a useable state.

He felt his body begin to quake as his father's punishment strap rekindled old fears. His body recalled every searing stroke that had ever landed on his helpless form. A lump of venom formed in his throat restricting his breathing which caused Carlisle to cough several times to clear his airway. His fingers gently traced the lingering blood stains that marred the light brown surface while his mind replayed snippets of memories that told their stories. Here in his hand was the physical embodiment of a demon that plagued his soul, but the patriarch knew that it had the power to redeem like no other. Perhaps dancing with it again after all these years would finally release Carlisle from his fear of the dreaded emblem of degradation.

Exhaling forcible he looked across the desk to where his lover sat with tears shining in her eyes. Esme's eyes were wide with shock as she glanced from her mate to the sinister strap, before locking on his blackened eyes. She couldn't do that. There was no way she could strike her husband with something that had brought him so much suffering. With a tear rolling down her face, Esme shook her head frantically as her lips formed a soundless, "No."

A quiet whimper rose from her throat as she held his gaze then whispered, "No, Carlisle. Don't ask me to use that. I…I can't do it. No. I won't use that torturous weapon that was responsible for so much abuse on anyone, let alone you. Don't do this to me. Don't put me in this situation. No, Carlisle. Not with that. I'm sorry, but my answer is no."

* * *

**AN: **Many thanks to everyone for all of the kind words and fantastic support. This was the chapter that just kept going. Carlisle is going to have to do some fancy talking if he is going to succeed this time. He seriously managed to shake poor Esme up this time. He should count himself lucky if she doesn't call the whole thing off. It's a good thing that Esme is a stronger person than she is often credited for being.

Thanks goes out to Splinter for making this easier for everyone to read.

Oh... and Rheavak, don't worry, wimp is not a word that I would ever equate with Carlisle. ;-)


	22. Dance with the Demon

"Anything, but that, Carlisle. I will agree to anything at all, but not ..." Esme turned her face away so she would not have to see the loathsome weapon in her gentle husband's hand. "I don't even know how you can bear to touch it. Please, put it away; I beg of you."

"Darling, I need you to listen to me. Let me explain myself before you refuse."

"Carlisle, I won't do it. I can't state it any plainer than that. There is no way in hell that I will hit you with that... that...abhorrent thing."

He sighed inwardly as he turned the implement over in hands before placing it carefully on top of the desk. Hanging his head, Carlisle whispered, "Then you condemn me to this incessant damnation."

Esme got up from her seat and went to her husband. Embracing him, she lightly stroked his hair as he buried his face against her chest. "No, my love, I said that I would help you with this guilt. I won't force you to continue to battle with that burden, but I won't beat you like your father did. I can't do that to you. I can't abuse you like that."

Wrapping his arms around her waist he muttered softly, "I'm not asking for you to abuse me, Esme. I'm asking for you to free me."

"And I will, darling, just not like that."

He inhaled deeply, but a few seconds later Esme noted that his breathing had ceased. Defeated, he allowed his knees to buckle as he suddenly slipped from her arms and crumbled into a heap at her feet. His wife dropped to her knees next to him as she continued to try to console him.

"Carlisle, talk to me. Let me help you, love."

He shook his head as he finally released the air trapped in his lungs. "You tried, Esme and I really do appreciate your willingness to help, but you can't. This is something that I will have to work out on my own."

Esme raked her fingers through her mate's hair. "Why are you being so obstinate? I've dealt with mules who were less stubborn than you." Gently grasping his chin, she brought his head up to face her then sighed at the forlorn look in his eyes. "Carlisle, I will blister your backside and see to it that you don't sit for days if that is what you feel you need, but it has to be by a method that I can live with."

"I have put you through enough, grá mo chroí." He drew back from her touch as he shook his head again. "I had no right to act so selfishly. This was too much to ask; too much of a strain on your tender heart. I won't inflict more stress on you, my sweet. Please, just leave me alone for a little while to sort out my thoughts and then we can move forward to enjoying our day." He lightly patted her hand which had come to rest on his leg as he forced a brief smile. "Everything is fine and I will be as well."

Esme remained silent as she chewed on her bottom lip while she studied her mate. She didn't want to ask it, but she felt the need to know. How could she be certain that she was acting in his best interest if she didn't? Steeling her courage to endure words that she didn't want to utter, knowing that they would bring about ones that she didn't want to hear, the matriarch softly inquired, "Why must that thing be incorporated for this punishment to be effective?"

Carlisle swallowed hard then he drew a breath before meeting his mate's eyes. "It is right for me." The hair on his arms and the back of his neck bristled as he mulled his reason over trying to find a way to convey the meaning to his lover. "I fear it, Esme. I fear it because of what it has done to me, but it also taught me to be the man that I am today. Whenever I did something wrong, I knew it would be there to put me back on track. Our histories are so intertwined that it is part of me. I know that this isn't something you can understand, no matter how hard you try, but I really do need it."

He bowed his head as he ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"You don't feel that I've done anything wrong. I can understand that, sweetheart, but I **know** that I have. Yes, my father whipped me excessively for things that he never should have. He also whipped me on several occasions where it was deserved." At a slight noise from his mate, Carlisle raised his hand while shaking his head. "He never needed to be as harsh as he was, but in fairness, there were several times that the strap was rightfully earned. As beaten as I was, as much as I hated the thrashing and cursed my father along with that blasted bit of hide, after the tears slowed I was left with a feeling of relieved and rejuvenation. It battered me, but it also healed.

My father birched me, switched me, took a buggy whip to me; none of those had the same healing effect on me. Those punishments would leave me broken and remorseful, but not healed; not whole again."

Esme straightened her back and squared her shoulders, subconsciously readying herself for battle. "If it has such mystical restorative properties, why don't you use that abomination on any of the children? Don't they deserve to feel whole again after their misdeeds?"

Carlisle closed his eyes momentarily as a pained expression marred his face. Glancing back to his mate, he sighed.

"Of course they do, darling and I like to believe I help them get there."

"Then why not use it if it does such a wonderful job?"

"Because it's mine, Esme. It works its power on me and me alone."

"But you don't know that, Carlisle. It might be fantastic for Jasper or Edward. Oh I know, how about Rosalie. Don't you think she could do with some soul healing after all she has had to endure?"

"Esme, I never did expect you to recognize the worth of this disciplinary tool. It's a very personal thing that no one else could ever really appreciate." He glanced down as he collected his thoughts. "Jasper made a paddle. That is something that is special to him and it speaks to him. I was, and still am, extremely reluctant to use it, but I did use it on him because it was something that he needed so he could let go and find peace. That is what this strap should be able to do for me, simply because of how familiar we are with each other."

"Should." Esme's dark eyes suddenly lit up. "You said should, which means that even you don't know that this really is what you need; it's just what you want."

Carlisle looked up and nodded, accepting his wife's victory. "You're right, honey, but the reason for that lack of knowledge is simple. I have never experienced it in a controlled way that will allow it to fully do what it was created for."

Her forehead creased as confusion held her tightly in its grip.

Her mate reached up and lightly caressed her cheek. "Esme, whenever I had a punishment coming for some misdeed, either real or invented, I was absolutely terrified. I really was never able to concentrate on the reason for my punishment or how I could have avoided it through correct behavior. All I could focus on was the pain and pray that it would end quickly instead of being made to endure a long draw out correction. My father certainly taught me a lesson, but it really wasn't one that he meant to teach. Instead of learning that this was a consequence that I brought upon myself through my misconduct, I learned that my father was not to be trusted. I learned that my father was someone to be feared. That is not the ideal mindset to be in when it comes to being disciplined, my love, but in spite of that I still managed to learn the lesson that the strap itself enforced. It taught me that I rightfully had to answer for wrong doing and that lesson made me a better man." He shifted slightly to more easily gaze deeply into his mate's eyes. "Imagine how much more effective it would have been in the hands of someone with whom I would not feel defensive because I knew that I would be safe in their charge."

He cleared his throat then took Esme's hands in his.

"In your hands, it will not only expunge my guilt, but you can use it in such a way that it will eradicate the fear that I have retained all this time. Esme, if you can find a way to come to peace with this you can not only save me, but you can also repair some of the damage that my father did. I am begging you; help rid me of this guilt and give me the ability to finally face my fear."

Carlisle's soft gaze pleaded with his wife who remained silent while appearing to contemplate his words. It was times like this that he envied Edward's gift. What he wouldn't give to know what she was thinking right now. He prayed that she would understand, but he knew better than to presume such a thing. An individual could not be expected to understand unless they had stood in his place; a situation he wished on no one.

Esme had experienced her own suffering at another's hands, so he knew she could relate to his fear. Because of what her human husband had inflicted upon her, his loving mate had been somewhat emotionally distant with him in their early years together. He had been very willing to give her the space and time that she had required to overcome the worst of her psychological scarring. She had drawn on his love and patience to allow her to rebuild her ability to trust and he had been happy to be her foundation, but now it was his turn to be the one in need.

"Carlisle, I…."

"Esme, it needn't be this symbolic frightful monster from my past, but the only person who can change my perspective, is the one person I trust explicitly." He brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "The one person in this world who holds my soul as well as my heart."

Esme groaned quietly then got to her feet and walked slowly towards the window while wringing her hands. Noiselessly, Carlisle came up behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She shook her head as she watched the trees blowing easily in the breeze.

"I genuinely don't know that I can," she whispered as she closed her eyes and bowed her head. "It's hard enough for me to accept the idea of punishing you at all, but to use that barbaric…." Her voice wavered as fear and grief invaded her spirit. She wanted to be strong for her mate and do what he needed done, but the fear that she could hurt him and further damage his psyche overwhelmed her. "Carlisle, I just can't see myself doing that."

"You won't harm me, Sweetheart. Use it lightly. Use it for a set number of strokes and then forgo it. Remember, how and how much it is used is up to you." His arms encircled his mate as he kissed the side of her neck. "I know I don't deserve to have a say in my punishment anyway, but I also know that this will work so I had to at least make an argument for the strap's use."

Esme sighed as she leaned forward, placing her head against the glass. "If I decide to use it, you won't try to get me to use it more harshly?"

"I give you my word that I will not."

"I am not saying that I will use it, Carlisle; please understand that, but if I do …."

"I will not interfere in any way. I turn full control over to you, Esme."

Lifting her head back up, Esme opened her eyes and looked at her mate's reflection as she strengthened her resolve. "Then I believe that we have put this off long enough, young man. Let's absolve you of your sin and be done with this once and for all."

Carlisle nodded as he released his hold on his wife and left her side to walk over to his desk. His fingers swiftly worked the fastenings of his slacks as he prepared to bare his backend to accept his punishment, when Esme's voice stopped him.

"What are you doing over there?"

He stilled with his thumbs tucked into his waistband and glanced at his mate. "I was just getting ready to bend over the desk."

"No, Carlisle, you are going across my knee for your spanking," Esme said very matter-of-factly.

He snorted as a smirk formed on his lips. "You can't be serious."

"I most certainly am. This is my call, Carlisle Cullen so you will do exactly as I say." Esme stood next to the loveseat positioned against the wall and slightly to the side of the window, where their children had a tendency to learn very valuable lessons of their own. "Come here, my boy and bring that monstrosity with you."

"Esme, really."

"Yes, Carlisle, really. Now get over here or we will just forget the entire thing."

Taking a breath, he picked up the strap and returned to her side as she settled down in the center of the small couch and patted her lap. "Come on."

"Don't you think this will be a bit awkward?"

"I find the entire proceeding to be awkward, but I will do this for you." With a visible shudder, she held out her hand to take the strap from her husband.

Carlisle held his breath as he laid the formidable implement in her palm then slipped his slacks down to his knees.

"Shorts too, Darling. If we're going to do this we might as well do it right." Esme cringed from the contact with Carlisle's weapon of choice, but put aside her disgust and placed the implement down next to her on the seat.

Carlisle quickly complied with her request before lowering himself onto the couch and over her lap. He swallowed hard then whispered, "Why this position?"

"Because I want this to be as different as possible to what you had to live through with your father. I'm doing this, because I care more for you than for myself, Carlisle Cullen. This statement has never been truer in the history of the world, but I really am doing this for your own good and I want you to be in constant contact with me. This was the best way I could think of to insure that is the case."

He nodded as he struggled against the unbalanced out of control feeling he was afforded. In an attempt to keep the majority of his weight off of his wife, Carlisle kept his feet on the floor while his forearms pressed into the seat cushion to support his upper body. While Esme attempted to adjust him into a better position, her mate's feet continued to slip and slide forcing him to battle for traction until a sharp swat caused him to freeze.

"Stop it. I know what you're doing and just stop it. I have you and I can handle this part just fine. You are supposed to be concentrating on the actions that landed you here. If you keep up this moving around you are not doing what you should be because your mind is obviously elsewhere. Now, settle yourself down, Carlisle and let me support you."

He felt her hands grasp his hips firmly and shift him forward until his feet left the floor and he was solidly positioned with his weight supported by both the loveseat and his loving wife. All pretense of control gone, Carlisle buried his head in his folded arms as a wave of nervousness came over him. In this ridiculous position he felt himself transported back through the centuries until he was no longer Carlisle Cullen, the leader of the Olympic Coven and patriarch to his family of vampires. Instead, he was just Pastor Cullen's young rebellious son whose behavior was about to be corrected once again.

Carlisle closed his eyes tightly as his vision became blurred by the venom tears he refused to shed.

"I know it's difficult, Darling, but I need you to try to calm down. The more you tense, the harder this will be on both of us."

"I'm sorry." He forced his breathing to slow and deepen while Esme lightly rubbed his lower back gently.

"There you go. That's good, Carlisle. You're doing well," his mate encouraged before she tightened her hold around his waist. "Young man, I don't want you to think about anything apart from why you are in this situation. I don't expect there to be a repeat of your unacceptable behavior and to see to it that there isn't, I'm going to give you something to think about the next time you feel that you are about to lose your temper with one of your children. Physical altercations between family members are not allowed. You know this rule, but you chose to ignore it and now you will pay the consequence for your actions. Once we are through here, there will be no more need to ruminate over this incident. I want it completely dropped. Am I making myself clear enough for you?"

Carlisle nodded in response to his mate's quiet chiding before swallowing and answering, "Yes, ma'am."

"That's my good boy."

She felt more than heard him sigh before he mumbled, "I don't feel like a good boy at all."

Moving her hand from his lower back to rest lightly on his behind Esme quietly reassured him, "We're just about to fix that, Carlisle. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'm going to be."

The strokes started out slow and relatively light, but steady as Esme peppered every inch of Carlisle's backside. He bit his tongue to prevent himself from asking her to strike harder as he reminded himself that his wife was the one in control. Steadily, Esme increased her pace and power until the stinging of her hand told her that her husband was in increasing discomfort even if he had made no sound.

A tear rolled down the matriarch's cheek as she continued to inflict pain upon her stoic mate. She knew better, but had hoped that he would break sooner than later. Apparently, the decades between his human life and his current life had not been enough time to temper his stubborn resolve to suffer in silence.

Carlisle had tried to deny his father the satisfaction of knowing that he was affected by punishment which, by his own admission, he had failed to do. Now he felt that he needed to be silent to protect his mate from any guilt that his outcry would cause her. He knew that he would break because he had to if his sins were to be purged, but he would hold out as long as possible. He would not allow her to suffer his wailing, but he also felt guilty due to the knowledge that his mate would have to work hard for his tears.

"Carlisle, it's alright to let go."

"I know, but I'm not ready." She could hear the tension in his voice as he fought to keep it quiet and level.

With a sigh she slowed her strokes as she spoke firmly, "You said that this punishment needs to be long and hard and that is exactly what you will receive. It won't be easy on either of us, but I am not going to stop until I feel that I have fulfilled that requirement. Your tears will not stop me until I truly believe that you have learned your lesson. You don't have to prove your strength to me, Carlisle and the more energy you put into fighting me, the less you are putting into reforming your behavior. I expect better from you, Carlisle Cullen." She ended her rebuke with a series of harder strokes that caused her mate to bite the inside of his cheek to force himself to keep quiet.

While Carlisle was able to maintain his silence, his body betrayed the effects of the punishing blows. Even as he fought against it, his self-preservation over rode his stoic resolve and forced him to writhe within Esme's firm grasp as his behind sought relief. To her credit, Esme was having none of his foolishness. She drew him more firmly against her body while slapping the back of his thighs sharply and was rewarded by a nearly silent gasp.

"Holy sh…."

The hardest strike yet collided with the tender flesh at the crease where his rump met his thigh causing Carlisle to hiss through gritted teeth.

"Carlisle Cullen!" Esme admonished. "You would not allow vulgar outbursts from your children when they are in this very same position; I will not have it coming from you. Young man, are you looking to get yourself into worse trouble?"

He sucked in his breath and managed to gasp, "No, ma'am. I'm sorry, love. Please forgive my near blunder."

"Just don't let it happen again."

He nodded while he balled up his hands into tight fists as the stinging burn increased in his hindquarters.

As engrossed as he was in battling his discomfort, Carlisle didn't notice that his wife's hand had ceased its attack until a loud crack preceded a deep familiar burning sensation. His body stiffened at the stroke and his breath suddenly caught in his chest. Carlisle rapidly blinked back the tears stinging his eyes.

"Carlisle?"

With his trembling body betraying him, he swallowed hard to clear his throat before whispering, "It's fine. I'm alright."

"Don't lie to me."

He struggled to catch his breath then lifted his head to glance over his shoulder. "It's just the fear, Esme. Really, I'm okay."

She didn't seem convinced, but she still held the strap so he knew that she hadn't completely rejected it, yet.

"You just caught me a little off guard, Sweetheart. I'm ready to continue when you are." He gave her a weak shaky smile before putting his head back down.

After a few seconds, the silence was broken by another hard stroke.

Carlisle's breath rushed from his body in a loud hiss as the strap bit into his unprotected skin a third time. A chill raced down his spine that caused the hair on his arms to stand upright as his body tensed so hard that his toes curled while he rode the crest of the pain. _It's not that bad. You have been through worse. You can handle….Christ! Oh God, forgive me, but I am sorry for attempting to harm my son. I will never allow my control to slip like that again._ He grunted as the carefully oiled smooth leather extracted its price for his infraction.

Esme snapped the strap against her husband's flank a final time then carefully placed it back down. She slowly rubbed her mate's burning behind trying to ease a bit of the sting before landing a solid stroke with her hand to feed the flames.

Carlisle's head shot up as he gasped for air out of reflex instead of need. He was still fighting but his obstinacy was beginning to wane; just not soon enough for Esme.

While she fell back into a steady rhythm, Esme's mind searched feverishly for traces of memory from her childhood. Most of her fragmented memories from that time were happy, but her mischievous ways were prone to getting her into trouble. There had been a couple of times that she could recall being sent to her room to await punishment and once or twice where she had accompanied her father out to the barn after some major faux pas. Her father's hand had made an impression on her, but it was his words that were more effective at bringing about remorse in his little girl.

After another volley of swats Esme spoke to her mate very calmly and clearly. "I'm disappointed in you, Carlisle. I'm disappointed that you would allow yourself to get into this predicament. You are the head of this family and the others look to you to set the example that they should follow. You should be above petty altercations and you should also have the courage to open up with me.

Stop this bullheaded battle that you're putting up as a defense from having to deal with your grief. By holding back you are still fighting me for the control that you promised to hand over to me. Let go, Carlisle and trust that I won't let you fall. If you can't do that it proves that you really don't trust me at all."

She punctuated her words with a mild whack which was rewarded in having her mate's body suddenly fall limp as the tension drained from his muscles.

Silent tears caused Carlisle's shoulders to shake while his bottled up pain, guilt and grief broke free. He wept like a child, across Esme's lap as she maintained her hold around his waist and gently rubbed his back to offer comfort.

"It's okay, baby." She cooed softly. "Let it all go. It's over, my love and I'm happy to say that we have both survived."

* * *

**AN:** For Carlisle it just had to be OTK. He needed loving discipline like he dishes out so there really was no other way to go. *grins*

And this one is just about complete...finally. *breathes sigh of relief* One more chapter for a little after care for Carlisle and then a bit of a wrap up epilogue and we are done. I'll admit it, folks, this sucker took me places that I didn't plan on going. Happy to have had all the good company along the way. Thanks so much, y'all. *hugs*

Many many thanks to Splinter for loaning me her skills. She is kinda like my Mighty Mouse coming to save the day. ;-)

Of course, once "Pasts" is done I still have "Dark Justice" to focus on, but if anyone has any ideas or request I'm always open to suggestions.


	23. A Soul Renewed

Esme stroked her mate's hair as his soft sobs gave way to quiet sniffling while he brought himself slowly under control. Her heart ached to hear his weeping regardless of her realization that each tear stripped away a little more of his suffering thereby alleviating his true pain. She wasn't sure how she had managed to find the willpower to remain strong enough to see this through to the end, but Esme was sure that she was just as happy as her husband that it was all over; perhaps more so. _Carlisle, please don't ever ask me to do this again. I don't think my soul could stand that._

Carlisle laid across her lap for a little while longer before he finally stirred and pushed himself up to stand a bit shakily on his feet. Quickly, he pulled his boxers back up, groaning as a sharp pain shot through him when the light silky fabric made contact with his ravaged rear. _In hindsight, I really should have worn a set of sweats today. This is going to be really uncomfortable._ Grimacing, he eased his slacks back up before standing quiet and still before his wife.

The patriarch's head hung slightly in embarrassment due to his emotional display. He had not wanted his mate to have to endure the sight and sound of his suffering and now he felt a touch of shame and guilt from that alone. Inwardly, he sighed at the thought of knowing he would always manage to hold on to some guilt, but at least this was a guilt he could handle and get past on his own.

"I'm sorry, Love." Esme reached out to take his hand and pull him closer. "Do you think that you are going to be able to sit with me?"

Having not quite regained his ability to speak, Carlisle took a slow deep breath and nodded before allowing his mate to draw him down next to her. He winced and grunted softly then shifted his weight on to one hip to try to lessen his contact with the leather cushion. Bowing his head he closed his eyes and brought his fist up to his mouth to stifle any more sounds of distress. While not able to disguise his pitiful appearance from his mate, the coven leader was determined not to afflict her with any more audible confirmation of his discomfort.

"Are you okay, Sweetheart?" She brushed a strand of hair out of his face and stared at him intently. "What are you thinking right now, Carlisle?"

Swallowing hard to steady his breathing and reclaim his voice, Carlisle mumbled quietly. "I'm thinking that I'm going to be feeling this for a couple of days."

"I was too hard on you. I knew that I was being too severe." Tears suddenly filled her eyes at the knowledge of having hurt her lover.

He raised his head and caught his mate's sad eyes. "No, Honey you were not too hard on me. It was less than I deserved, but precisely what I needed and asked for." He gritted his teeth as he scooted closer to his mate and pulled her into his embrace. "All of this is my fault. I am so sorry that I put you through this ordeal. Can you ever forgive me?"

Esme hugged him tightly as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. "There is nothing to forgive, Carlisle. Just tell me that it's over. Tell me that I have my mate back intact."

"You never lost me, my heart." He tipped her head up and kissed her gently before pulling a bit back. "But, if you are asking if I've found peace, yes, you have given that back to me and I will forever be in your debt. It is your strength that saved me, which is something I can never hope to repay, but am certainly willing to try."

His mate curled up against his chest leaving Carlisle to lay his cheek against the top of her head as they sought comfort in each others' arms.

After spending some time in an easy silence, Esme's gaze fell on the hideous piece of leather that rested limply next to her; much too close for comfort. "Are you still troubled by fear?" She whispered.

Carlisle chuckled as a smirk played on his lips. "Not quite as badly, but I don't think one experience is enough to cure that completely. It took a great deal more to instill that fear, so it stands to reason that more than one reasonable experience would be required to draw out that infection."

His wife's eyes widened as she pushed him gently away so she could look into his murky dark gold eyes.

"Carlisle, please don't make me do this again." Her voice shook with raw emotion.

It bothered him greatly to know that he was the cause of her worried expression and uneasy tone. Lightly trailing the backs of his fingers along her cheek, he shook his head as he replied gently, "I have no intention of behaving poorly again, my sweet. This is not a lesson I'm looking to have repeated. That is a promise." He cringed at the thought as he rubbed at the burning soreness in his behind. "You did an excellent job of convincing me that a refresher would not be in my best interest. There is no need for you to worry about that."

Grinning, Carlisle ran his hands through her golden brown hair and drew her towards him to share in a deep lingering kiss. As they broke apart, he whispered in her ear, "I have no idea why the children fret about being in trouble with me. You are the one they should worry about. If they only realized just how capable you are of making them regret any misbehavior they would be sure of toeing the line around their mother." Pulling up he gave her a wink and kissed her on the nose, making her giggle in spite of the oppressive emotions that still permeated the room. "Ah, there you are. There's my Esme. I had wondered where you were hiding."

Esme's soft smile warmed Carlisle's heart and eased his concerns slightly before she became serious again. "I was so worried. I didn't know what might trigger your memories and push you over the edge. What if I had added to your psychological scarring? What if I had made things worse for you?"

"Then it would have been my fault and I would have taken sole responsibility for that."

"Carlisle Cullen, this was a dangerous undertaking. If something had gone wrong..."

"You were my safety net, my sweet dear Esme. You would have never allowed me to slip and fall."

Esme huffed at her mate's use of a variation of her own words against her.

"Should anything like this ever happen again, Mister, you will end up with a backside that is much more sore than what you are sitting on right now, and you will have zero say in how that occurs."

Carlisle grinned as he nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Understood."

Raising an eyebrow, his mate fixed him in her sight. "And you are still grounded, young man."

"What?" The patriarch pulled back as shock and confusion registered on his face. "What are you talking about, love?"

"I am talking about you handing your car keys over to me for safe keeping for a month."

Carlisle laughed heartily as the absurdity of his wife's words brought a smile to his face, but the look in her eyes suddenly informed him that she was not kidding. "Oh come on, Esme. Surely, this is some jest."

"Do I like I am joking?" She held him in her unwavering gaze. "You are being punished, Carlisle Cullen, and I think that it will do you good to really experience what our children go through. After all, it was you who claimed to be no better than the children and deserving of the same treatment, was it not?"

"But, Esme…."

"Were those not your words?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"No. There is no room for you to argue with me on this. I already told you that, for one month, you are only allowed to go to work, hunt and come back home. I will keep it low key, but you will have chores to do around the house to keep your idle hands from getting you into more trouble. As far as driving, well that is completely out of the question, so I will be bringing you to work and picking you back up to take you home."

"And you don't believe that will seem suspicious to the children?"

"You said that you didn't care if they knew of this arrangement, but since I am taking a couple of new design classes offered at Peninsula in Port Angeles, I need the car. A very simple and honest explanation should the question come up."

"Why wouldn't you just borrow one of Edward's vehicles?"

"I would rather drive the Mercedes." There was a little sharpness in her tone that hadn't been there before. "Carlisle, you will not talk me out of this so you might as well face the fact that you, young man, are on restriction."

"Esme, this weekend is the Crab Festival in Port Angeles. You know we have all been looking forward to going to it. I wanted it to be a nice family outing for us to just get away and relax for the weekend."

Esme shook her head as she sighed. "Is Rose going?"

Carlisle's jaw tightened as he glanced away from his mate. "I could let her go. I'll make it a little reprieve. I'm sure both she and Emmett would appreciate that."

"Uh huh. And was that your plan all along? When you grounded her were you going to give her a little break in the middle of it so she could go on a family outing or did you expect her to remain under house arrest for these fourteen days?"

Carlisle folded his arms over his chest and his shoulders hunched with his growing frustration as he became completely still.

"That's what I thought." Esme reached out to touch his shoulder, but he flinched away. "Carlisle Cullen, am I going to have to make you go stand in the corner until you are able to reel in your attitude?"

There was a teasing quality to her tone that caused him to realize how childish he was being. Suddenly, once again horrified by his own behavior, Carlisle bowed his head.

"I'm sorry, Esme. Apparently punishing me like a child has caused me to regress a bit." He glanced up as he sighed quietly. "A month of strictly going between work and home and doing whatever chores you ask of me will be fine. I suppose someone should stay home to keep Rosalie company, anyway.

There really is no need to limit my driving. I won't 'get lost' between work and the house as some have been prone to do between school and home. I can drive myself and if you wish I can call when I leave work so you know that I don't take any side journeys. "

Esme gave her husband an incredulous look. "I think we shall start off my way and if you can behave yourself, than maybe you can have your keys back a little later in the month."

"Once you've become bored with driving me to work and picking me up, you mean." He cocked a brow as he managed a fleeting smile.

His mate giggled softly then patted his knee. "Something like that, though you know it can take an awful long time for me to get bored with anything, and I have yet to become bored when it comes to you."

"That is good to know. With all the years ahead of us, it would be awful if you grew bored with me easily."

Esme ran her hand through his hair before pulling him towards her and kissing him deeply. When they drew apart, a smoldering fire lit up her eyes. "You know we still have hours before the children get out of school. What do you suppose we should do with that time?"

"Well, Mrs. Cullen, since I'm grounded it's not as if I am allowed to leave the house. You said that you had chores for me to keep my hands busy. Maybe you need to task me so I don't find myself back in trouble."

"Hmm. I can think of several tasks that need taking care of that your surgeon's hands would be perfectly suited for." She leaned into him, but as her tongue snaked between his lips she felt his entire body become rigid. A quizzical expression flashed in her eyes before being replaced by realization. "I think this would be better performed in a prone position. What do you say we move into the bedroom?"

Carlisle hissed softly as he redistributed his weight back onto his hip and off his burning rear before nodding. "I think that will allow me to keep my mind on my work instead of…. Well, just instead."

Esme laughed as he eagerly eased himself off the loveseat and helped her to her feet. Staring into her bright amber eyes, Carlisle found himself amazed by an unexpected lightness in his spirit. He suddenly realized that there had been a tightness in his chest of which he was unaware until it disappeared. Taking his first truly easy breath in days, Carlisle smiled at his wife as tears came to his eyes.

"God knows what I would have done without you, my love. You have rescued my crippled soul and encouraged it to fly." A tear broke free and trailed down his cheek. "I can't begin to repay that kindness."

Esme, brushed the tear away. "Don't be silly, Carlisle. You are my soul. This was no more than an act of self-preservation. When you are distraught, I am troubled as well. Seeing you smile is all the payment I need." She kissed his cheek before taking his hand in hers while her eyes twinkled. "But, I won't be opposed to you showing me your appreciation in our bedroom."

She tugged at his hand gently while heading towards the door only to find herself scooped up in his arms.

"You know, Esme, chores are not supposed to be pleasurable."

"I can always just deny you pleasure while exacting it for myself, if that will make you feel better."

"Never mind. Just forget that I said a word."

"Done." She giggled as he carried her across the threshold of their bedroom and kicked the door closed behind them.

* * *

"So, how was gym class, after all?" Jasper reclined on the sofa with Alice curled up in his arms.

"It was a good thing that you stayed home. That really was not a pretty sight."

"Speak for yourself, little sis. I saw the kid out in the hallway when he was on his way to the nurse. That was awesome. It looked like he was going to bleed out completely. Too bad it was coming from his nose. You would not have wanted to touch that blood though it did make me wonder if it was possible to suck his brain out though his nose." The blank look that Alice and Jasper gave Emmett made him a bit self-conscious. "What? It was just a thought. You know, for the sake of scientific study. If the Egyptians could hook it out, I wonder if I could suck it out."

"Em, you would have to…," Jasper started to respond then thought better of it. "You know what? I don't think I should be encouraging you. What in the world was going on in my head? Shouldn't you be out in the garage helping Rose work on Papa's car?"

"Nope, she told me that Momma is giving her a hand and figured that I would just get in the way. Now spill, Jazz. Do you really know about mummies or what?" Emmett's ears perked up as his curiosity rapidly engaged.

"I know quite a bit about how the bodies were preserved. If you ever paid attention in history at any one of these schools, you would know the facts about the process already."

"They have never taught me about how to make a mummy."

Edward shot his bulky brother a look as he walked pass the trio in the living room and muttered quietly, "I wonder why?" before mounting the stairs on his way to work on his latest composition.

Emmett responded with a vulgar gesture seconds before his father called out his name.

"Holy crap, how did he see that?"

Alice giggled at her brother's confusion. "Daddy wants to talk to you about something else, Emmy. He didn't see you."

"Damn, but Pops has got some weird timing going on there."

"Emmett, please come up here now. I don't want to have to call you again." Carlisle's quiet tone caused the bruin to shiver.

"Coming, Pops," he yelled before looking back at his sister. "Is it bad?"

Alice crinkled her nose. "It will be if you try to run so don't even consider doing that. Right now, it doesn't seem bad at all. He just wants to talk."

"So I would get a move on if I were you, ol' son. If you want to keep on Papa's good side, that is. He's had a hard day, Em. Please, try to keep it low keyed for everyone's sake." Jasper gave his brother a slight nod then jerked his head towards the stairs.

"Yeah, I hear ya. I'm going."

Emmett stretched as he got to his feet then lumbered towards the stairs.

_Crap, what did I do now that Pops found out about? Rose got that dent out before he could notice. Haven't destroyed anything lately. _All too soon, the muscular youth found himself standing in front of his father's study door.

"There's no need to knock, Em. Please come in and have a seat."

Closing the door quietly behind him, Emmett crossed over to the chair in front of Carlisle's desk and sat uneasily as he watched his father scan the books on one of the many cases lining the wall.

"Ah, here it is." Carlisle pulled a book off the shelf and walked over towards his son. "I thought you might find this interesting." Handing the book to Emmett, the elder carefully leaned against the front edge of his desk while watching the boy intently.

"Oh, COOL! Is this a 'how too' manual?"

Emmett's infectious excitement caused Carlisle to chuckle. "Something like that. It's a history of death rituals that includes a thorough explanation of Egyptian practices for preparing the body for the afterlife."

"Thanks, Pops. This is really awesome. I'll be sure to bring it back as soon as I finish reading it."

Emmett started to get up to leave when Carlisle placed his hand on his son's shoulder and pressed him back down into the chair. "That wasn't why I asked to see you, Em. There is something that we need to discuss."

"Aw, man, but Alice said it wasn't that bad. Discussions are never a good thing. I swear, Pops, whatever it was, I didn't do it."

Carlisle tilted his head slightly and, while looking his jokester boy in the eye, spoke a single word. "Petey."

Emmett's eyes grew wider as he stared back at his father completely dumbfounded before quickly glancing away. "Oh. Well, yeah. I guess I did do that," he mumbled faintly.

Carlisle crossed his arms and shook his head. "Frogs in the girls' locker room? Playing games in class when you know that you should be paying attention? Emmett, you know better than to act up in school."

"Yes, Sir."

"How do you think your mother felt having to spend her morning listening to your instructor relate these stories of your shenanigans?"

"Not so good."

Carlisle leaned over and tapped his son under the jaw to encourage him to look at him. "No, she wasn't very pleased. There was no excuse that she could make for your behavior and it hurts her when she can't realistically defend you." The elder's voice softened slightly as he continued. "You are her baby bear, Em. She will fight against anyone who speaks ill of you. Don't make her job harder by giving these people an excuse to complain."

"I'm sorry, Pops. I was just trying to have a little bit of fun. I didn't mean for anything bad to happen. It was just a few pranks to help everyone lighten up and have a better day. You know, school can be very stressful and … well laughter is the best medicine, right? I was just trying to break the tension and make everyone feel a little bit better."

With a heavy sigh, Carlisle ruffed up Emmett's dark curls. "I know you didn't mean any harm, but you have to behave yourself in class. It's one thing to play around at home or during free periods at school; it's a completely different matter when you are supposed to be paying attention. I know that it gets boring, Em. You've all taken these classes long enough to know the material forwards and backwards. The problem is not in you not paying attention and failing to grasp the lesson; it's that your antics disrupt the class and make it difficult for others to learn the material." Carlisle paused for a moment to give his son a little time to process his words before adding, "It's also incredibly disrespectful towards your instructors. They are trying to do a job and you're making it much more difficult."

Emmett's shoulders slumped as his father's words put his school activities into proper prospective. "I owe some apologies at school, don't I?"

"I think that would be appreciated, but I also believe that toning down the class clown act will be in your best interest as well."

"You've got it, Pops."

"That's my boy. Now, go on and get out of here. I have some paperwork to get done and I'm going to think that you have some studying to do or, at the very least, some zombies to kill. Maybe you wanted to get started on making a mummy?" Carlisle grinned; knowing that within minutes Emmett would be glued to his video game taking on anyone foolish enough to accept his challenge.

"Is that it?" Emmett looked positively puzzled.

"Yes, Em, that will be all, unless you don't feel that my lecture was sufficient to make you think twice about pulling your pranks."

"Oh, no no no. I'm good. It's all good. Thanks for understanding, Pops."

Emmett stood up and wrapped his father in a bear hug. Unfortunately for Carlisle, his bruin's momentum shoved him back against the lip of the hardwood desk causing him to hiss at the sudden pain.

Releasing Carlisle, Emmett took a step back and looked at his father with great concern.

"Are you alright, Pops? Are you hurt? Do you want me to go get Momma?"

Swallowing hard, the patriarch closed his eyes and shook his head before he caught his breath enough to find his voice. "No, I'm fine, son. There is no need to worry, but thank you just the same."

"What happened?"

"It's nothing, Em, really. I'm just a little stiff and sore right now. I'll be fine. Now go on and get out of here before I change my mind on letting you go with just that lecture." Carlisle smiled even though he found his son's skeptical expression bothersome.

Finally, after a few moments of deliberation, Emmett nodded. "Alright, Pops, but if there is anything I can do for you, just let me know."

"You know I will son."

With a last backward glance, the bruin boy swaggered out the door and down the hall towards the stairs. _Alright, Alice, let's see if you can enlighten me. I'm sure that you know something, sis. Something is up with Pops and I plan on getting to the bottom of it or my name isn't Emmett Cullen._

* * *

**AN:** Just the epilogue left and with Emmy on a mission it should be interesting.

Thanks to each and every one of you folks. Thanks for accepting my oddness; that makes y'all more special then you can ever know. LOL. All of you guys actually made this story possible by keeping me focused. Not sure that I would have reached the end on my own.

Thank you, Splinter for all of your help. *hugs* You really do rock my little world.


	24. Silly Old Bear

"Aw, come on, Alice. Tell me. I know that you have to know what's going on with Pops. Share. That's what siblings do, right? Pops told us that we should always share. Come on. You know you want to. Isn't it just killing you not to be able to say something? I know that trying to keep something like that to myself would make me crazy. I won't say anything. I swear. PLEEEEASE!"

Emmett sat on the coffee table directly in front of Alice as she sought refuge in her mate's arms.

"You do realize that you just contradicted yourself." Alice tilted her head as she cocked an eyebrow while smiling sweetly at her brother. "No, Emmy. I'm sorry. If Daddy wanted you to know, he would have told you himself. It's not my place to say anything. Unlike you, I can keep a secret."

"I can keep a secret. I swear."

"And cows quack," Jasper remarked snidely as he rolled his eyes.

"By Grabthar's Hammer, I swear that I won't tell a soul." Emmett pressed his fist against his chest over his unbeating heart to prove his sincerity.

Alice blinked in confusion. "By what? Whose hammer?"

"Oh dear God." Jasper buried his face against his mate's shoulder while he moaned as if he was in pain. Raising his head back up he muttered quietly,"It's a quote from 'Galaxy Quest', sweetie. It would appear that someone has been watching way too many late night movies. You need to find another hobby, Em."

"I have plenty of hobbies and that's quality stuff right there, Jazzman; besides, if someone would answer my Xbox challenges I wouldn't have to watch movies to stay entertained."

"Right. Well, I'm sure Rose would be only too happy to keep you entertained. How about you go bother her for a while?" Jasper smirked as he raised a brow while gesturing towards the stairway.

"Of course she would, but then we would have to deal with all the bitching and moaning from you jealous types." Emmett puffed up a little as a grin grew on his boyish face. "Can't help it if you guys just can't deal with the awesome that is my babe and I when we get down and wild with it."

"It's the house that can't deal with it. Y'all need to take that outside where there are a lot fewer things for you two to destroy. Bust up another bed and Momma is going to skin you alive, have Papa heal you up and then skin you again."

"It's called passion, Jazz. You should try it sometime. I'm sure little sis would thank you for it."

"Thanks but I don't need pointers from you, Doofus. We do just fine on our own."

Alice reached up and stroked her lover's cheek before kissing him as she gazed adoringly into his eyes. "I have no complaints at all, Major. You know just how to see to my needs, but I am starting to feel a little needy," she purred hoping that Emmett would take the hint and go away.

It didn't work.

Emmett rolled his eyes at his sister's attempts at seduction. "Don't think that I don't know what you're trying to do, but it won't work. Nu-uh. You're not going to throw me off track. I want to know what's going on with Pops and talking about sex is not going to distract me. Alice, please tell me. It's not nice that you know and the rest of us are kept in the dark," he practically whined.

Wrapping his arms around Alice, Jasper hugged his wife closer to his chest and kissed the top of her head as his eyes locked on Emmett's. His mate was getting tired of her big brother's badgering and Jasper could feel her growing frustration rolling under that easy going exterior that she projected. Rubbing his wife's upper arms gently he commented quietly, "Alice isn't the only one who knows what's going on, Em. Why not find yourself another victim for this investigation of yours and give her a little break? I'm sure if you put your mind to it you can come up with an easier target."

"EDWARD! Of course!" Emmett slipped off the table and quickly found his feet; his eyes alight with premature triumph. "He could never say no to me. He must know what happened since he's always poking around in everybody's heads. He could have picked it up from Alice ..or... well hell, he probably knows straight from the source." Emmy clapped his hands together and rubbed them briskly. "Eddie, prepare yourself because here I come!"

The bruin bounded towards the stairs as Jasper called out, "Hey, Em, you want to make sure that you hit him fast and hard with those questions. If you take the subtle approach Eddie is just going to have time to out think you. He'll clam up and once that happens you'll never get anything out of him."

"Roger that, Jazzman! Thanks for the heads up!"

Taking the stairs two at a time, Emmett swiftly disappeared from view.

"Jazzy, why did you tell him that? He is just going to tick Edward off."

"Yep, which kills two birds with one questing Emmett." His rarely seen cocky smile brightened up his face. "Eddie was being a pill the other day and I told him that I would pay him back. Well, honey bunny, pay back is a bitch and this also assures that Em doesn't get the information that he's after. You know as well as I do, if he was to find out there is just no way he would ever let Papa live this down. In good conscience, I just can't have that happening to Carlisle."

"Emmy is just a silly old bear, Jazz. He would let it go eventually."

"Eventually is like in ten years or so. Can you imagine how much of a grumbly bear Carlisle would turn into if he had to put up with Em hassling him all the time? Darlin' there is no way I want any part in that."

Alice nodded as she sighed quietly before snuggling comfortably in his embrace. "You're right. Can't let that happen to Daddy, but it does seem a little unfair that we always have insider information because of our gifts, while Emmy and Rose get left out of the loop."

"Well, baby, there are times that I would be only too happy to be left out of the loop."

His mate giggled. "Now you know how I feel all the time."

"Maybe we should go up to our room and console each other since we've been suffering so much." He caught her chin and tilted her head up to kiss her softly. "After all no one understands what all we have to put up with."

"Except for Edward."

"I'm not interested in having Edward in our room, so I'm afraid that he will just have to suffer on his own. Of course, I'm fairly certain that Em is keeping him occupied by now."

Alice laughed and leapt up from the couch. "I'll race you to our room. Loser has to do whatever the winner wants for a week. Whatever. The. Winner. Wants." The look she gave him told Jasper just what sort of plans she had in mind and he was more than game to play along.

"You are so on, little darlin'."

Jumping to his feet Jasper grabbed his mate by the waist before she could get away and tossed her back onto the sofa before running towards the stairs; a giggling recovering Alice close on his heels.

* * *

"No, Emmett. Get the hell out of here. I don't know anything and if I did why do you think I would tell you?"

"Eddie, ...my main man... you can't pull the wool over my eyes. I know that you know what's up. You're always in the know. What happened to Pops? You can tell me. I just want to know in case he needs some help. You know that he is too proud to ask for help so the only way I can be there for him is if I just do it on my own. That doesn't work really well unless I know what the problem is. You can see my predicament here. Come on, Big Ed, help a brother out."

Edward turned his Ipod up a bit louder to try to drown the husky pest out.

"Dude, I'll make a deal with you."

"There's nothing I can do for you regardless of any sort of deal, Emmett. Why can't you understand that? No, wait... that's wrong. Why won't you understand that? You could if you wanted to, but you just won't do it."

Like lightning, Emmett snatched the Ipod from Edward and dangled it just out of his brother's reach.

"Give that back to me," Edward growled.

"Not until you tell me what I want to know."

"Emmett, I swear to God..."

The big bruin shook his head as he "tsked" at his bronze haired brother. "You shouldn't swear. Pops doesn't like that at all. Believe me. Been there, done that. Couple of serious swats on the behind and a bar of soap in the mouth." He shivered at the memory. "That crap leaves a film on your teeth that you can taste for days no matter what you do. I couldn't brush it away. Took three, count 'em, three caribou to get the taste out of my mouth."

"Emmett, give me my Ipod."

"Spill what you know and you can have your precious Ipod back, but until then I think I'll hang onto it. Maybe download some of my tunes to broaden your musical experience."

Edward's left eye twitched as he glanced at his expansive music collection. "Emmett, this is the last time I'm going to ask nicely. Give. Me. My. Ipod. Now."

"Pfft. You call that asking nicely? What? I don't at least get a 'please' thrown in there?"

"Oh for crying out... Please, Emmett. Please give me my property back. Please. Please. Please."

Emmett grinned broadly. "Nope. Not until you tell me what happened to Pops."

Edward snarled wanting nothing more than to be able to wipe the grin off his brother's face, but he knew Emmett's strength gave him the advantage. There was also that knowledge that Carlisle would kick both of their butts if they got into a fight.

"You know what, Emmett. Fuck it. I'll buy a new one tomorrow." Walking over to his stereo, Edward flipped on the power and started the CD already loaded in the machine, before dropping down onto his lounge chair. He closed his eyes and vehemently wished that when he opened them, he would be alone.

"That's not playing fair, Bro."

"Seems fair to me."

Emmy sulked for a few moments before a thought struck him. "I know. I'll give you back your tunes...and... I'll keep Rose away from you for a week. No bitching. No griping. Nothing. Peace and quiet and music for a solid week and all you have to do is share what you already know."

Edward raised a brow as he thought for a minute. That was a tempting offer, but no. He shook his head.

"Think of it as a need to know and you don't need to know."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't. It's Dad's private business. He respects your privacy; you need to respect his. It doesn't concern you. It doesn't concern any of us. Just drop it, Em. "

"AH HA! So you do know what's going on." The bruin narrowed his eyes slightly as he began to spin the Ipod by its wrist loop. "Tell me what I want to know or the Ipod gets it."

"Are you insane?"

"Maybe, but I'm going to find out what's up if it's the last thing your music maker does."

Edward glared at him and hissed, "You wouldn't."

"I never took you for a betting man, Eddie. Are you willing to bet the safety of this little thing just because you don't want to let me into the inner circle? Come on, you and Alice already know. It's not like this is any real big secret. It's going to come out eventually. The sooner it does the quicker it blows over. In truth, you would be doing Pops a favor in telling me."

Edward closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Just go, Emmett. Please just get out of here and leave me alone."

"Not happening, Buddy Boy. I'm sticking to you like glue until you answer my question. I really hope you don't hog the soap in the shower."

Edward's eyes flew open as he stared at his brother then narrowed in extreme irritation. "You have no right to invade my privacy. Just because you don't know that Dad…." Edward caught himself in the nick of time, but the near slip fueled Emmett's need to ferret out the secret.

"Dad what? What did Dad do? AWWWW COME ON, EDDIE! TELL ME!"

"What did Dad do, Edward?" A soft voice came from near the doorway that caused both boys to freeze.

Slowly turning around Emmett came face to face with his father.

"Oh, hi there, Pops. Didn't know that you were standing there. Um… so… yeah…um. Hi."

Giving Emmett a slight nod, Carlisle returned his attention to his eldest. "I'm waiting for an answer, Son. What did I do?"

"Nothing. You didn't do anything and I wasn't going to say anything either. This Bozo has been up here harassing me. He even stole my Ipod."

"I didn't steal it." Emmett's voice reflected the shock that he felt with the accusation. He would never have stolen anything, and if he did it would certainly not have been from a family member. He wouldn't have even broken the darn thing. "I was just teasing."

"Em, what have we told you about getting carried away with the teasing?"

The large muscular young man suddenly took on the countenance of a small naughty boy. He glanced down at the floor and scuffed his toe against the carpet. "I'm sorry, Pops." Glancing up at his brother he quickly added, "Sorry, Eddie. I wasn't going to keep it. I was just looking for some…leverage, you know?" He handed the Ipod back as he grinned slightly.

_Edward, does this pertain to what I believe it does? _

Edward met his father's eyes briefly then looked away.

With a sigh, Carlisle crossed his arms and let his head fall as he collected his thoughts. "Emmett Dale, are you torturing your siblings for information that concerns me?"

"I wouldn't exactly call it torturing."

"I sure as hell would," injected Edward.

"Edward, please." Carlisle lifted his head and locked on his bear's eyes. "Em, I …atoned… for my unseemly behavior the other day. That is all that I'm going to say on this matter. Now, I expect you to leave your brothers and sister alone. I don't want to hear about you pestering them any further. Do you understand?"

Emmett considered his father's words for a few moments before his eyes went wide. "You mean…?"

"Have I made myself clear, Emmett?"

"Oh my God!" A huge grin bloomed across the boy's face while his brother groaned softly behind him.

"Emmett," Carlisle called a little more forcibly.

"Yeah, Pops. Yeah. I got it."

"Good. Now behave yourself and let your brother enjoy his music in peace." Carlisle vanished out into the hall in a blink of an eye leaving his sons to their discussions.

"Pops got his ass whipped? Really? That is hysterical."

"It's not funny, Em."

"Who did it?"

Edward cocked his head to the side and gave his brother an incredulous look.

Emmett thought for a second before realization dawned. "Momma?"

"Just get out of here and let it drop, would you? Dad has been through enough. You really need to give him a break. He didn't have to tell you and you know that he would never harass you. Give him the same respect, Em."

Emmett nodded. "Yeah, you're right," he responded in a more subdued tone before brightening up again. "But, I have got to tell Rose."

"Em."

It was too late. The bear was already racing down the hall towards the stairs hell bent on sharing the news with his mate.

Heaving a sigh, Edward prayed for it all to blow over quickly so that their life could finally return to what passed as normal. Turning up the volume on his Ipod, Edward sunk a little deeper into his lounge as he attempted to let the music wash away the pity he suddenly felt for his long suffering father. _I can't believe you went ahead and did that, Carlisle. I hope you really do understand what you just unleashed._

* * *

**AN:** Another one of those chapters that was never meant to be. Since there was interest in Emmy's investigation y'all get stuck with an extra chapter before the Epi. LOL. Hope it was worth it. I will admit that once I got involved, I did have more than a little bit of fun with this one. _  
_

And now... the next chapter will be the epilogue to wrap up loose ends. That takes a bit more Emmett so be prepared for that. ;-)

Thanks everyone for the comments and PMs. I live for reviews and read everyone of them. Your feedback means so very much.

Special thanks to my wonderful beta Splinter, who gave up some of her time working on school stuffs just to keep me from losing my mind as I try to chase down my mistakes. She has even had to help me keep Jasper from running around nekkid once. ;-) That boy just gets away sometimes.


	25. Peace Restored

Emmett grinned as he bounded down the stairs while the normal morning arguments echoed through the house emanating from the upper floors. He had just managed to escape Alice's fashion make over and was humming happily to himself as he celebrated his lucky break. That was the moment when he caught sight of his father alone in the kitchen.

Carlisle was standing at the center island, leaning on it casually as he read the morning paper. His relaxed manner caused a devilish grin to form on his husky son's boyish face.

"Morning, Pops."

"Good morning, Emmett," Carlisle replied without raising his head as he continued to remain focused on the news story.

"Looks like it's going to be a pretty day, huh?" Emmett closed the distance between his father and himself. "You don't look real comfortable, Pops. Here, let me grab you a chair so you can sit and relax." He winked and chuckled as his father huffed quietly then rolled his eyes at the family jester.

Walking towards the window in the kitchen, Emmett "inadvertently" brushed against Carlisle's backside as he passed by. The elder's head snapped up and a low hiss emanated through his clenched teeth as the contact caused the deep penetrating soreness to flare once again.

"Oh, my bad. Sorry, Pops." Emmett grinned as his eyes sparkled with mischief. "Can I get you anything for that? Too bad aspirin is worthless, huh? Word of advice from an expert; ice is your friend."

"You'll be the one needing some ice in just a couple of minutes if you don't stop it."

"Stop what? I have no idea what you're talking about. I was just coming in here to spend some quality time with my dear old Dad."

Carlisle glared at his boy while he grumbled quietly. "Isn't there some video game calling your name about now?"

"Nope, I found something much more interesting to keep me entertained until it's time to leave."

"Emm-ett," Carlisle growled in a soft warning that appeared to have little effect on his son.

"Yes, Pops?" The dark haired youth leaned next to his father with his back against the counter while grinning in delight.

Carlisle was not amused at being his son's latest target, but simply glared at him before turning his attention back to his newspaper. _I knew better than to tell Emmett anything. Now look at what you've gotten yourself into and who knows how long this could go on before he becomes bored. _He sighed inwardly while trying his best to ignore his hovering son.

"Mom's got a wicked swing when she's handing out a smack down, doesn't she? So how do you enjoy being a card carrying member of my club, Pops? You know it is very exclusive. Only the best of the best get to join. Not many can say they have endured the wrath of Esme and lived to tell the tale." He folded his arms over his broad chest, the smile never leaving his face. "You know, you never did say why she let you have it. Damn but you must have gotten into some serious shit with her for Momma to tear your ass up like that."

It was clear to Carlisle that Emmett was having entirely too much fun at his expense. "Language, Emmett and I'm not discussing this."

"You know we might want to move her up in the batting lineup next ball game. If she can do that to your behind, just imagine what she can do to the ball if she puts her mind to it. I knew it all along. Momma has been holding out on us all these years.

Who would have thunk it? Sweet little quiet peaceful Esme. I guess she has you turning the other cheek now."

"Emmett, so help me..."

Emmett whooped quite suddenly cutting Carlisle's threat off in mid-sentence as the sounds of a large truck could be heard coming up the road towards the house. "It's here! Hot damn, Pops, it's here."

In his over exuberance, the boy gave his father a rather solid whack on the rump as he dashed from the kitchen causing Carlisle to grit his teeth while he mentally conjured up visions of tortures that he would have loved to introduce his son to. _Those years with the Volturi really could pay off. _Regaining his composure, he walked over to the door to see what was causing so much excitement in Emmett.

Stopping at the foot of the stairs the bruin bellowed loudly, "Jasper! Jazz, get down here. Leave the primping to Alice. There is something that you have got to see. Get your ass in gear, boy. Time's a wastin'." When the solider appeared at the top of the stairs, Emmett flagged him down. "Come on outside. Just wait until you see it. This is going to be so completely bad ass. Oh my God, I can't wait!"

"You know, Em, it's way too early for this much enthusiasm." Jasper made his way down the steps while trying to buffer the effects of his brother's frenzied excitement on his own emotional state. "What in the world has got you wound up this tight?"

Emmett's grin broadened. "Who's your favorite brother?"

Jasper eyed Emmett with suspicion before muttering, "Edward."

"Pfft, you say that now but just you wait!" He slapped his brother on the back before wrapping his arm over Jasper's shoulder and leading him towards the door.

Carlisle was already standing on the porch when his sons walked out the door to join him. "Emmett, why is there a semi in my front yard?"

"Because I'm making amends with Jasper."

Jasper narrowed his eyes as he glanced at his brother. "Why? What did you do this time?"

"Nah, it's for something that I had already done and just never got around to properly apologizing for, so my apology is in that truck." The bruin positively beamed with pride.

The truck driver sauntered over toward the three men standing on the porch. "I'm looking for an Emmett Cullen."

"That would be me."

"Would you please sign here Mister Cullen?"

Carlisle read the insignia on the side of the truck. "Emmett, what could you possibly need from Marine Turbine Technologies?"

Emmett just laughed as he signed the delivery paperwork. "You'll see, Pops."

"You bought a boat?" Jasper asked as he watched the driver disappear into the trailer.

"No, but I did think about it. They do build some awesome boats. They have even tricked out some cars with jet turbine engines just because they can."

"Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what is that?" Carlisle stared in horror as the gleaming black cherry motorcycle was rolled down the ramp and onto the driveway.

"Emmett, what did you do?" Jasper quietly asked before his breath caught in his chest as he eyed the lustrous sleek machine.

"Meet Jasper's brand new MTT Turbine Superbike." The dark haired boy grinned broadly. "Its predecessor was powered by jet engines reclaimed from helicopters. I went ahead and got the upgrade on this one; 420-HP turbine engine. You are looking at the fastest street legal bike in the world. Should hit 250 MPH easy and it is possible that in experienced hands it can go faster. There's no governor on this baby. Now tell me that isn't better than your old Ducati."

"No, Emmett. I'm sorry but I must insist that you send it back. Just the idea of the damage that thing can cause." Carlisle shuddered slightly at the thought, but Jasper was already running across the yard to take the bike from the delivery man.

"I'll be careful with it, Papa. You know I'm a responsible rider. Nothing will happen, I swear," Carlisle's solider yelled back over his shoulder. "Oh my God, Emmett, she is gorgeous."

"I said no." Carlisle crossed his arms as his foot began to tap in annoyance. "It's too dangerous and much too high profile. The idea is not to draw attention to ourselves. All that monstrosity is designed for is to draw as much attention as possible. It's simply not a good idea at all. There are plenty of motorcycles on the market that wouldn't be as conspicuous."

"Aww, come on, Pops. Loosen up at little. It's just a bike. Sure, it can be a bit too much bike for most _people_, but for someone like Jazz it's perfect. Besides, it's custom. I can't send it back," Emmett tried to reason with his father. "It's a gift, Pops. You can't just turn a gift away. That would not be cool. Let Jazz have it. I owe him a replacement for wrecking his bike and this is the least I can offer him after everything he ended up going through with flipping out and all that. All that was my fault and this is my way of finally setting things right. You wouldn't want to deny me that opportunity, now would you?"

Carlisle sighed as he shook his head in defeat. "Fine, you two can keep it, but you, young man, are going to have to explain it to Esme."

Laughter rang out from across the yard, causing father and son to turn their attention towards Jasper. "Emmett, what the hell? Why did you get that put on the tank?"

"I thought it was appropriate. I kinda already figured that Pops would have some issues and planned on that being a little visual reminder not to screw around when you're on the bike." Emmett smiled then added, "You think you're man enough to ride with that as your copilot?"

Jasper snorted. "You know I am. Only a real man could own up to having this bike, and I would like to see the fool who would give me crap about it. The bike speaks for itself and would leave his… well he would regret disrespecting the ride." Jasper laughed at his brother's insanity, but had to admit that it made the bike all the more special. The southerner simply wouldn't have dreamed of changing a thing.

Jasper's warm laughter caused his father to smile in spite of his trepidation. He would never grow tired of that sound. It seemed so rare for his son to actually be happy, owning mainly to his special ability and the turmoil that it brought, that Carlisle had learned to treasure these precious moments.

Cocking a brow as he looked between his two boys, the elder spoke softly, "What is he talking about, Em?"

"Go have a look, Pops." Emmett gave Carlisle a little push towards the bike as he laughed. "Go ahead, it won't bite ya. I thought the custom design was a pretty cool addition, actually."

The truck driver climbed up into his cab and gave the burly boy a wave. "Nice doing business with you, Mr. Cullen. If there is anything else we can do just let us know." With that the large truck lurched to life and rolled away back through the trees towards the highway, leaving the men and their new jet bike behind.

Carlisle blinked as he glanced at the embellished paint job. "Is that...?"

"Yep." Emmett puffed out his chest proudly. "Hello Kitty at her best. My thought was, when he's riding that little cat will remind him about the rest of those kitties back in the study that he would have to deal with if he gets into trouble with the bike. I know the thought would keep me from screwing around and doing something stupid." Absent mindedly, Emmett rubbed his rear end. "It's just a little insurance policy of sorts."

"This is fantastic, Em. Thank you." Jasper turned his bright eyes on his brother. "Hey, let's load it in the jeep and go fuel her up. I can't wait to take her on a test run."

"Aren't you forgetting something, Jasper?" Carlisle gave a little nod, but Jasper's expression went blank. "School?"

"They won't miss us, Papa." The look of disapproval on his father's face caused Jasper to amend his words. "We could be just a little bit late."

"I don't think so, Son. You can take it on a test ride when you get home this afternoon. It's not going anywhere and will give you something to look forward to."

Emmett piped up, "It's still early, Pops. What if we go gas it up and Jazz rides it back home before we leave for school? With how long it takes the girls to get ready we should have plenty of time."

"Emmett, I said no. Now go put that new toy away and finish getting ready for school. I'm not going to say it again." Carlisle noticed the looked exchanged between his sons and cleared his throat. "If it leaves our property before this afternoon, not only will I be in charge of the key for a couple of weeks, but I can promise that neither of you will be capable of sitting long enough to ride it. I advise you to carefully weigh the cost before you decide to defy me."

Jasper bowed his head and whispered, "Yes, Papa."

"I'm serious, Jasper."

"Yes, Sir. I know." Reluctantly the younger blonde rolled his new vehicle towards the garage. "This afternoon will be fine. I'll have more time to get used to it then, anyway. I just hope the day goes as fast as this bike does."

Emmett, on the other hand, was not quite ready to concede defeat. "What if we let you ride it first, Pops. I really want to see how it handles. You have no idea what I went through to find the perfect bike for my little bro and I want to make sure that I did good."

"From his reaction, I would have to say that you did much better than good, Em. While I still think it's a bad idea because of the attention it can cause, I have to say that it's nice to see Jasper so elated. You should be proud of yourself, Em." Carlisle smiled gently as he patted his bear's shoulder. "Now come on and let's go back in the house. I can't wait to hear how you are going to explain the newest addition to the family to your mother. And to think, you figured that I incurred her wrath. You, my boy, have not seen anything yet. Vengeance truly is sweet."

With a grin curling his lips, the patriarch placed his hand between his son's shoulders and guided him back into the house grateful that peace had finally been restored to his family; at least for now.

_**FINI**_

* * *

**AN:** And that's it. I am a bit sad that my little story...not so little anymore...is finally finished, but now I can work on some other ideas. Hope you all enjoyed it and I am truly grateful to each and every one of you for taking the time to read my strange tale. Your comments and pms are always inspiring and help feed my inner beast; the one that makes me write. Y'all are really wonderful.

Anyone who does not understand the significance of Hello Kitty on Jasper's new bike, please check out my other story "What Could Possibly Go Wrong." All shall be explained. ;-)

While trying to find the 'perfect' motorcycle for Emmett to give Jasper, I came across the MTT Turbine and it sounded perfect for a vampire; maybe less so for a human.

"This bike is not for the faint-of-heart, nor for the inexperienced. Inherent jet lag at take off followed by blistering acceleration and a longer wheel base make it a difficult bike to handle."

Something to keep in mind because I have a little idea forming in my head of "Bella vs. The Bike." I am a pre-Twilight writer (consider myself more "late afternoon" to "early evening" actually), but due to Bella requests by some readers... well I can at least try and see how it goes.

Thanks again to everyone for joining me on this journey. Special thanks, of course, go to the awesome Splinter and her magnificent beta skills, without whom this trip would have been much more difficult.

So, until next time...


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